DEC.8, 2006 IF WALMART DOESN'T HAVE IT.... I DO NOT NEED IT!

The dog in the above photo resembles me after a trip to the mall yesterday! OMG! It just reinforces my theory that if Walmart does not have it, and the Dollar Store does not have it.... I do not need it!

I have never in my whole entire life been subjected to such violence from people from my own gender, as at Christmas time at the mall. It is truly something the universities should do a complete study on. The emotional level of selfishness is at maximum overdrive, over any other time of the year. And you all know how that movie turned out! The machines went nuts and took revenge on the owners! Although, after yesterday, I think maybe a touch of digital revenge might be in order to straighten out a few of these crazed, (adults, ha!) people who have to have the latest, and the greatest, and pay for it for 2 or 3 years for their children, who usually are not in the least bit concerned about it. They play with the box more than the toy! I mean buying a portable DVD player for a two year old is just too much! sigh

The new video games that are out now. These things are outrageously priced, and they are playing the supply is low and demand is high thing. The same thing happened with the Cabbage Patch Dolls, and good ole Tickle Me Elmo. These parents are obessessed, possessed, ( I think this one womans head spun in a complete circle yesterday!) and armed with a whole pocket full of credit cards that are new and untouched! They claw, they yell, they curse, they fist fight, they sit outside of stores for days in the cold and wait for Wendy's to take pity and provide them with french fries and frosties. Pitiful, simply pitiful!

I am not saying a person needs to take along pepper spray and a stun gun to Chistmas shop, but the idea has occured to me. The day after Thanksgiving is possibly the worst day of the year to shop, if you are a quiet type person, like me. (hehe) The stores open up at 5 am, and promise super duper sales for 3 hours of stupendous savings..... um humm.... they practically give you the stuff they had on their clearance racks to get you into their store. I am to the point that if I can't get it at Walmart, people will be getting an IOU,for one present, after the January white sales and the February Mall Walk sales. Sheesh... They might have to wait until the after Valentines day sales, and Presidents days sales, Columbus Day Sales, and then Easter sales, and then of course Memorial day sales, and that takes you right into Mothers Day and then Fathers Day and then Independence day in July. I think I will just give out computer generated cards on notebook paper with a little cash inside. Then again, stores don't like cash money much anymore, and to write a check, well they take it then they give it back to you after they electronically store all of your banking information in their computer system!

In my house I try to take the kids, even though they are now 23 and 17 years of age to Toys R Us to play with the stuff on the shelves. I know it is a little bit nostalgic of me, but hey when you have a tradition, you have to keep it up, ya know! But this year, I took a turn in the store by myself, looking for a gift for my 7 year old cousin, and the kids were so involved with playing with every single toy out of every single box on the shelf, I couldn't get to the shelf to take one home with me. I tried to be sweet and ask one of them if he could possible let me look at the toy he was busily trying to take apart to see how it worked. And he started yelling," MOM! Stranger! Danger! Stranger! Danger!." I turned around thinking I would see a parent streaking across the store to save her child, ( maybe I could reason with her to make the kid give up the toy) and continued to stand there waiting for 10 minutes while the child in question continued his high pitch litany of "Stranger! Danger!".... No one ever came..... The other kids, were oblivious to anything but, continuing to destroy all the merchandise they could reach, and I left the store empty handed except for the advertising circular they handed me at the door, with a pleasant Merry Christmas, come see us again!   Not on your life could you get me back into that chaos. No way! No trip to Toys R Tornup, this year!

I had to park on the next block just to get to the mall. They actually have guys in golf carts shuttling the old folks back and forth to the door of the mall, and their car. I suppose I am not old enough yet, even though I yelled, and threw little rocks that were on the pavement, at the guy on the golf cart, he just whizzed right on by!  There has got to be a discrimination law I could use with this one, but the lawyers won't take my case, I am sure. They would plead temporary Holiday Shopping at the Mall insanity. I would lose.

All in all I came home with bruises on my shins from the Stranger Danger kid, a scratch on my arm from trying to climb up one of the shelves to get something down. ( signs say to ask for help for things on the top shelves... they have no one who works at these stores at such times, as I have asked.... they are all on break... or have broken bones, getting stuff off the top shelves) I managed to snag a pair of jeans for Homer, a box of candy for Homer's Mom and a lot of circulars for after Christmas sales. Like I am going back there after Christmas and fight the people lined up for a city block to return the gifts they don't want or that just don't fit right. You can be sure anything on the rack after Christmas has been worn before. And not in the clean dressing rooms of the store either! ewww.....

I looked into the bags when I got home, and wouldn't you know it, I could have gotten the same damn thing off the Walmart shelf half price.....hehe, Gretchen Wilson might have something there after all. I guess I am a redneck woman, well at Christmas time anyway!..... hehe

                                                    

                                                               



lockerridge

DEC. 7, 2006 MY CHRISTMAS CACTUS IS ON TIME THIS YEAR!

ISN'T MY CHRISTMAS CACTUS BEAUTIFUL THIS YEAR?  IT'S USUALLY  LIKE ME. IT BLOOMS AT EASTER! MAYBE THIS IS A GOOD SIGN FOR THE COMING YEAR, TO BE ONE WHERE THE CHARLIE BROWN SYNDROME GOES INTO REMISSION.....YA THINK? LOL

 

 

 

                                                            

 

 

                                           MERRY CHRISTMAS MY 360 FRIENDS!

 

lockerridge

DEC. 7, 2006 MY CHRISTMAS CACTUS IS ON TIME THIS YEAR!

ISN'T MY CHRISTMAS CACTUS BEAUTIFUL THIS YEAR?  IT'S USUALLY  LIKE ME. IT BLOOMS AT EASTER! MAYBE THIS IS A GOOD SIGN FOR THE COMING YEAR, TO BE ONE WHERE THE CHARLIE BROWN SYNDROME GOES INTO REMISSION.....YA THINK? LOL

 

 

 

                                                            

 

 

                                           MERRY CHRISTMAS MY 360 FRIENDS!

 

lockerridge

DEC.6,2006 WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

                                                              

The above photo is of a piece of toast. A regular piece of toast. Made from white bread. With margarine or butter spread on it. No jelly, no jam, no marmalade, not even any cinnamon and sugar.

This particular piece of toast sold for 28,000 dollars on e-bay! Now look really, really closely at this piece of stale cooked bread with butter on it. Do you see anything that would entice you to spend 28,000 dollars to possess it?

But apparently to someone who is either very physic, or has too much money... it looks like the face of the Virgin Mary......

 

                                                            

 

The above roll was on display in the window of a bakery in Germany for many months, till someone actually stole it from the bakery window! Look at this roll very closely, do you see anything that would entice you to commit burglary to possess it?

It looks like a piece of dough that has been baked a little bit too  long to me. But to others it looks like Mother Theresa.....?????

Okay I am the first one to say, some people see things that others don't . As a matter of fact I have been on the receiving end of witty cuts, about things I can see in clouds and rocks, and pieces of wood etc.

But this has me completely undone! I heard the other day some one actually paid an enormous amount of money for a cup on ebay. A regular, ordinary, plastic drinking cup. Like you get at the dollar store for your kids when they are little. Unbreakable, yellow, plastic, dollar store cup. That Elvis drank from.... now am I wrong... or has it been rumored that Elvis has gone to the big sound stage in the sky? But this person had a cup he drank from....... um hummm.... and someone else actually bought it........ like I said in the title.... WHAT IS WRONG WITH  PEOPLE?

28,000 dollars for a stale piece of bread with some brown markings on it that some one drew on there with a magic marker while eating their cereal one morning, is not a sign from God! It is a piece of toast. Eat it. 

A hot roll is just a hot roll. Eat it.

A plastic drinking cup is just a plastic drinking cup. Drink out of it, wash it and reuse it. Then when it gets cracked, throw it away!

I repeat................WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

We are either the most gullible generation ever born, or the richest! We seem to actively be searching for people to rip us off! Then the kicker is we whine about it when we do get ripped off! Wake up folks! There are people out there just waiting for that sucker who is born every minute! I have been that sucker, but I did learn from the experience. These folks seem to never learn.... 

 

Here is list of things one might want to check off on before purchasing something from anyone..... especially from the internet.....

1. Do I need this thing? Will it enhance my sex life, or maybe make my hair shiny, or something important like that?

2. Has the reputed original owner of said item been dead for a loooooong time?

3. What is this thing made from? ( from the photos on ebay it could be anything from plaster of paris corn on the cob, to drinking straws twisted into the shape of a possum.)

4. What is the shipping and handling on this thing, is it more that item retails for?

5. Is this thing, something that only idiots would buy? Am I an idiot?

6. Does my mother own one of these?

7. Will it max out my credit card? Will I have to mortgage my house to pay for it? Will I have to promise my inheritance for collateral?

8. Can it be insured for the amount of money I am paying for it? ( moldy bread is not usually insurable)

9. Can I eat it, if I lose all my money to someone, who steals my identity, because I bought stuff over the internet?

10. And the tenth and final one is ...... Will my husband kill me when he gets the Master Card bill, and all I have to show him is a piece of toast without any jelly on it?

lockerridge

 

DEC. 5, 2006 CANDID CAMERA 2006 , LOCKERRIDGE PHOTO ALBUM OF FOOLISH FAME

I HAVE SAVED A LOT OF PHOTOS THIS YEAR TO USE IN A BLOG FOR THE END OF THE YEAR.  I ASSURE YOU I DO NOT FEEL MORE INTELLIGENT THAN THESE PEOPLE, I HAVE JUST NOT BEEN CAUGHT ON CAMERA YET! ENJOY LOOKING AT THESE AND THE FEELING OF INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY, EVEN THOUGH IT WILL ONLY LAST A SHORT TIME, IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME! LOL

 

                                                 2006 "STUCK ON STUPID AWARD"

THIS FELLA, IS NOT ONLY USING  REALLY WEAK LOOKING 2X4'S  FOR A JACK, HE IS IN A RESIDENTAL AREA, USING A WELDER ON HIS "GASOLINE" TANK! 

LOOK AT THE BOARDS THIS INTELLIGENT PERSON IS WALKING ON! OMG! AND WHAT ASTOUNDS ME EVEN MORE IS SOMEONE HAD TO LET GO OF THE CHAIN TO TAKE THIS PICTURE!

THIS IS TAKING UP TO THE MINUTE WAR COVEAGE A LITTLE FAR, DON'T YOU THINK?

 

CALLING HIS STOCK BROKER PERHAPS WITH INSTRUCTIONS TO SELL ALL FRESH VEGETABLE FUTURES, IN HIS PORTFOLIO?

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST A LITTLE TOO STRANGE EVEN FOR ARKANSAS STANDARDS....EWWWWWWWWW!

 

NEVER TRUST YOUR DRINKING BUDDIES TO HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE ALMOST AS DRUNK AS YOU ARE. YOU WAKE UP IN SOME MIGHTY STRANGE POSITONS,

                                                                 AND PLACES!

 

 LOTTERY WINNERS..... THEY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY HAD IT ALREADY, UNTIL THEY GOT THE PHONE CALL THAT THEIR NUMBERS HAD BEEN CHOSEN. SO THEIR ANSWER TO A BETTER LIFE, WAS TO GET RID OF THE '73 GREMLIN STATION WAGON, AND BUY A '97 FORD LINCOLN!  CHECK OUT THE EXTENTION THEY PUT ON THE CAR PORT!  WITH THE SATELITE TV DISH! LOL

NOW THIS IS TRUE INGENUITY, HILLBILLY STYLE!

 

TRUE DEDICATION TO YOUR JOB! "GET OUT OF MY WAY, I GOT TO GET THIS LOAD OF PINEAPPLES TO HAWAII!"

 

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE HANGING AROUND TO SEE THE FOOT THIS PRINT WAS MADE FROM!"

 

I LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THOUGHT...... LOOK TO SEE IF THERE IS A CAMERA HOUND ON THE LOOSE .......BEFORE PUTTING INTO ACTION WHAT YOU THINK IS  A REAL GOOD PLAN!    HEHE

 

lockerridge

DEC.1,2006 AND SO IT GOES..... THE SNOW THAT IS

YES INDEED THERE IS SNOW IN ARKANSAS! BUT LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SNOW IN ARKANSAS AFTER THE SUN COMES UP THE NEXT DAY! MELTED SNOW IN ARKANSAS! TOLD YOU, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WEATHER WAIT 15 MINUTES AND IT WILL CHANGE! THIS IS THE VIEW FROM MY BACK YARD DECK. THE SNOW IS GOING, GOING, GOING, YEP, JUST ABOUT GONE! YIPPEE! NOW MAYBE THE WORLD AROUND ME WILL GET BACK TO THE NORMAL INSANITY IT WAS BEFORE! THEY DIDN'T EVEN CANCEL SCHOOL HERE, AND HOMER WENT TO WORK LIKE NORMAL. NOW UP THE NORTH OF ME, AROUND THE COLLEGE, AND IN THE EAST IN OKLAHOMA, WELL IT IS A BIT DIFFERENT STORY. THEY ARE MELTING TOO, BUT LEAVING BEHIND BLACK ICE ON THE ROADS. KIND OF SCARY STILL YET, FOR THOSE IN THE REALLY HIGH MOUNTAINS, I LIVE IN THE RIVER VALLEY. I CAN SEE THE MOUNTAINS TO THE NORTH OF MY HOUSE, AND THE RIVER TO THE SOUTH. I GUESS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. LOL

 

MOUNTAINS TO THE NORTH OF MY FRONT DOOR

 

 

RIVER TO THE SOUTH OF MY BACK DOOR!

 

 

lockerridge

NOV. 30, 2006 SNOWING ONCE, SNOWING TWICE, YEP, IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!

THEY SAID IT WAS GOING TO SNOW..... AND FOR ONCE THEY WERE RIGHT!

 

 

 

 

 

IT IS SNOWING OUT MY BACK DOOR! OH MY!

 

 

AND IT IS SNOWING ON MY CAR, AND THE PAINTLESS, NON BACKFIRING NISSAN!

 

 

 

OMG! IT IS SNOWING ON MY DOG, OFF THE DECK IN MY BACK YARD! POOR PRISSY, "COME ON IN THE HOUSE BABY, I GOT A MILK BONE FOR YOU!"

 

 

 

 

AND THIS IS WHAT PRISSY AND LOCKIE ARE SITTING BESIDE, MIKE IS SNOOZING ON HIS DOGGIE BED. HOMER AND JR. ARE  OUT BEING IDIOTS, PLAYING IN THE SNOW IN THE TRUCK! NO, LOCKIE DID NOT GO. WHY, YOU MIGHT ASK...... CAUSE LOCKIE AIN'T NO FOOL, SHE HAS BEEN TO SCHOOL, AND WALKING IN THE WIND AND THE SNOW IS A ,NO GO!

 

lockerridge