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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

DEC. 21, 2006 SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT LOCKIE -- A BLISS TAG TALE.

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I HAVE BEEN TAGGED!..!..! MISS LADYBUGBLISS HAS TAGGED ME.... SHE WANTS TO KNOW.........


SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME...... HUMMM.........


I KNOW YOU ARE THINKING TO YOURSELVES, YOU MEAN THERE IS MORE WE HAVE NOT SEEN ALREADY?


WHOA! DON'T RUN AWAY! I PROMISE TO NOT TELL YOU THE TOP SIX.... I WILL STICK TO STUFF THAT WON'T MAKE YOUR HAIR TURN PREMATURELY GRAY, AND FALL OUT!


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*WEIRD THING NO.1 ~~~ I LIKE BLACK AND WHITE COWS. I THINK THEY ARE CUTE. THEY LOOK AT YOU AND FLIP A FLY AWAY FROM THERE EAR WITH THEIR TAIL(THAT, IS TRUE TALENT!)


THEY ALSO ARE KNOWN TO FROLICK IN THE MEADOWS! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A SECRET FROLICKER....YOU REALLY MUST TRY IT SOMETIME, WITH A BLACK AND WHITE COW. MOOING WITH THEM CAN AND WILL MAKE THEM MAD , THEY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU MOO WITH THEM, IT IS SO HARD TO RESIST MOOING WITH THEM, WHEN A BUNCH OF THEM GET TOGETHER AND FORM PERFECT O'S WITH THEIR LIPS AND, THEN THEY SAY IN THE MOST SOUTHERN BELL ACCENT I EVER HEARD, YOU CAN CUT THIS ACCENT WITH A KNIFE, IT IS SO THICK, " MOO YOU ALL, I SAY MOOOO!"... DON'T REPEAT IT IN THE COW'S PRESENCE, THEY GET A REALLY FIRED UP LOOK IN THEIR EYES, AND THEIR MOO'S DON' T SOUND SO POLITE ANYMORE! ....... PERHAPS WE HAVE AN ACCENT THEY DON'T LIKE, OR MAYBE BAD BREATH, AND I LOST MY TIC TACS... DANG IT !! HAHAA


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*WEIRD THING NO.2 ~~~ I AM PETRIFIED OF WATER. I CAN'T SWIM, AND I DON'T WANT TO LEARN HOW EITHER. I DON'T EVEN TAKE MANY BATHS, I AM A SHOWER WOMAN. THERE IS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT THE WATER CLOSING Photobucket - Video and Image HostingIN OVER MY HEAD AND FILLING UP MY NOSE, THAT MAKES ME PANIC AND TRY TO CLIMB THE CLOSEST THING THAT IS OUT OF THE WATER. BE IT HUMAN, ANIMAL, OR MINERAL, HECK, I WOULDN'T CARE IF IT WAS A VEGATABLE!....HUMM.....WONDER WHY THAT IS?.. WELL DUH, .... MAYBE, BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KNOW TO DROWN!!( and that has got to hurt) WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR HEAD UNDER THE WATER!!!!!.... at least that is what I have been told by the big girls, and they know everything....lol


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*WEIRD THING NO.3 ~~~ I AM A WOMAN AND I HATE TO GO SHOPPING.... I ALWAYS HAVE HATED IT... I AM SHORT, AND I HAVE A SIZE 5 SHOE SIZE ... IN ANY STORE'S SHOE DEPT. SIZE 7 HAS 3 ISLES OF THE CUTEST SHOES AND BOOTS ..... NOW STROLL OVER TO WHERE THE SIZE 5 SHOES ARE DISPLAYED. YOU SEE INSTEAD OF 3 ISLES OF SHOES, YOU SEE 3 PAIR OF SHOES ... AND THEY HAVE BEEN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF CLEARANCE SALES, AND NOT MADE ONTO SOMEONE'S FOOT YET! ..... I AM 48 YEARS OLD. I AM SHOPPING IN THE LEMON FROG SHOP FOR PRE-TEEN GIRLS. THE SPONGEBOB OVERALLS AND MINISKIRTS JUST MAKE ME LOOK A COMPLETELY PITIFUL. AS FOR SHOES, THE LIGHT UP TWEETY BIRDS IN THE WEDGE HEELS Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting WHEN I STEP DOWN, ARE JUST PITIFUL! I REALLY DO NOT FEEL TOO WEIRD, ABOUT TELLING YOU, I DO NOT LIKE TO SHOP! I AM DIFFERENT, WHEN MY GIRLFRIENDS FROM SCHOOL WERE ALL GOING TO COLLEGE TO GET A DEGREE, I WAS BUYING A POULTRY FARM. THEY ALL WANTED NEW CARS, AND NEW HOMES. ME? I WANTED A NEW TRACTOR WITH A FRONTEND LOADER, AND A NEW BARN WITH SEPARTE STALLS, AND HEATERS! THAT WAS MY IDEA OF THE GOOD LIFE, AND IT HAS NOT CHANGED AT ALL! .... THEY GO TO THE MALL, TO SHOP TILL THEY DROP, ON SATURDAYS. I GO TO THE YARD SALES. I GET MY, " NEW CHANGE OF SEASON-- -WARDROBE", OFF OF THE 3 THINGS FOR A QUARTER TABLES IN THE SHADE, OR MAYBE 4 IF YOU TAKE THE WHOLE TABLE FULL OF STUFF. I CUT OFF ALL OF THE BUTTONS AND ZIPPERS OF THE STUFF THAT WON'T FIT, AND USE IT FOR OUTSIDE RAGS! ( my momma always told me "Waste not, Want not!") I SPEND MY SATURDAY NIGHTS, AT THE LOCAL HORSE SHOWS, OR DRAGGING HOMER FISHING SOMEWHERE. I AM, TO SAY THE LEAST, EASY TO ENTERTAIN, MOST CONTENT WHEN I AM IN THE SAME AIR SPACE AS HAY AND HORSE AROMA, AND I AM REAL EASY ON A MAN'S WALLET WHEN WE GO OUT. I USUALLY TAKE OUR FOOD FROM HOME WITH US, YOU KNOW ME, ALWAYS PREPARED! BALONEY AND BREAD ARE ALWAYS WITH ME, BUT NOW I KEEP THEM LOCKED UP TIGHT IN THE FRONT OF THE TRUCK! HAHAHAHA!


ONE RUN IN WITH A BOLD BLACK BALONEY SANDWICH EATING BEAR, IS ENOUGH FOR THIS, SOMETIMES REDNECK WOMAN TO BE EXPOSED TO, AND STILL NOT CARRY A SHOTGUN!..... oh yeah! I know how to shoot one of those too!


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*WEIRD THING NO.4 ~~~ I DISLIKE THE GAMESHOW,"THE PRICE IS RIGHT" WITH BOB " HAVE YOUR PET SPAYED OR NEUTERED" BARKER! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting I CAN'T SEE WHY THAT SHOW HAS BEEN THE NUMBER ONE GAME SHOW ON TELEVISION, EVER. THOSE GAMES, THE BIG WHEEL, AND ALL THAT SMULTZ, IS RIGGED PEOPLE! CATCH A CLUE HERE! THEY GO FOR THREE WEEKS, AND THE ONLY THING ANYONE WINS IS A TOASTER! A TWO SLOT ONE AT THAT!


AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IN ONE WEEK, THEY WILL HAVE PEOPLE WHO TAKE HOME 15 TRIPS, A MOBILE HOME, 6 HUMMERS, A GRAND PIANO, THE CROWN JEWELS, A WASHER AND DRYER, AND A MICROWAVEPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting. THAT IS JUST FOR THE ONE DAY! PULLLLEEEEZZZZ ... BOB BARKER , I SINCERELY HOPE YOU WERE NEUTERED WHEN YOU WERE A PUP, OR YOUR WIFE HAS BEEN SPAYED... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE LIKE YOU...... ... OR I JUST MIGHT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO GO POSTAL ON A Photobucket - Video and Image HostingGAME SHOW HOST! ...


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*WEIRD THING NO. 5 ~~~ WHEN I COOK A MEAL, AND WE ALL SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE I HAVE PREPARED FOR MY LOVING FAMILY. THE RESULTS FROM THE SWEAT OF MY BROW, AND THE STRAIN ON MY BRAIN FROM FIGURING OUT WHAT I CAN FIX THAT THEY WILL ACTUALLY EAT .... IF SOMEONE DARES.... AND I MEAN .. DARES ... TO SAY, IN A WHINING TYPE VOICE " I DON'T LIKE THAT.... YUCK!" I GET WORSE THAT WEIRD.... ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE BEEN PRACTICALLY CHEWING MY LEGS OFF WHINING, " WHEN IS SUPPER, I AM STARVING TO DEATH!" YEAH,RIGHT! ... IF THIS DOES HAPPEN,... THE ONE WHOM HAS, IN MY OPINION JUST DECLARED THEY ARE NOT HUNGRY AT ALL, MUST LEAVE NOT ONLY THE TABLE, BUT MY SIGHT FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING!


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*WEIRD THING NO.6 ~ ~ MY TOWELS MUST BE FOLDED A CERTAIN WAY, OR THEY ARE WRONG. .... YEAH THIS IS WEIRD, I ADMIT IT. BUT, I CAN'T SEEM TO HELP IT....I WAS RECUPERATING FROM ONE OF MY MANY SURGERIES(YOU CAN PLAY TIC TAC TOE FROM THE GRID OF SCAR TISSUE ON MY ABDOMEN) MY MOTHER-IN-LAW (YIPPEE... )CAME DOWN TO HELP ME WITH THE HOUSE ONE DAY, BECAUSE MY MOM HAD AN APPT... SHE DID MY LOAD OF LAUNDRY IN THE HAMPER, WHILE I AND MY BABY TOOK A NAP. THAT NIGHT WHEN I WENT TO TAKE MY SHOWER, I OPENED THE DOOR OF THE LINEN CLOSET, AND MY TOWELS FELL INTO THE FLOOR!!!........ THEY HAD BEEN FOLDED BY MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AKKKKKKK!!!!!! SUFFERING FROM POST PARTEUM DEPRESSION, I BURST INTO TEARS! MY HUSBAND CAME DASHING INTO THE BATHROOM, BREATHING A SIGH OF RELIEF, WHEN HE SAW WHY I WAS BLUBBERING, AND SLAMMING DOORS! I WAS REFOLDING THE TOWELS, AND CRYING LIKE MY HEART WAS BROKEN, AND HE PULLED ME INTO HIS ARMS, AND SNUGGLED ME. ( MY HUSBAND COULD ALWAYS READ ME LIKE A BOOK) " MOM FOLDED THE TOWELS WRONG DIDN'T SHE?" NODDING FURIOUSLY,I CONTINUED TO BLUBBER AND BLOW SNOT, WHILE HE SAT IN THE FLOOR ROCKING ME.

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YOU kNOW, FROM THAT ONE "WEIRD" THING ABOUT ME, CAME ONE OF THE BEST MEMORIES I HAVE OF MY HUSBAND, AND HIS LOVE FOR ME. SO, MAYBE THESE THINGS THAT ARE LABELED BY MOST OF US AS, " STRANGE" OR "WEIRD," ARE THE VERY THINGS THAT ENDEAR US TO OTHERS.......Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting





lockerridge



Monday, December 18, 2006

DEC. 19, 2006 HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. "NEW" INDIA DIVISION

THE NEWEST AIR TRANSPORTATION VEHICLE
IN THE WORLD TODAY!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GREAT PRODUCERS
OF CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGIES
HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC.-- NEW INDIA DIVISION

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PRADEEP INDIA AIR TRANSPORT DESIGNS CO.


THE ABOVE PICTURED SLEIGH, WAS DESIGNED FOR SANTA THIS YEAR. FOR USE IN HIS WORLD WIDE DELIVERIES, IS AN ORIGINAL DESIGN,WHICH WILL BE IN PRODUCTION FOR THE PUBLIC SOMETIME THIS YEAR!


OUR COMPANY WAS GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE A PART OF A WONDERFUL NEW TECHNOLGY BROUGHT TO US BY MR. PRADEEP FROM INDIA. WHEN MR. PRADEEP, OR PD AS HE LIKES TO BE CALLED, FIRST INTRODUCED ME TO HIS WONDERFUL AIRCRAFT, I WAS ASTOUNDED BY THE BRILLIANCE OF ITS DESIGN AND IMMEDIATELY, BEGAN TO OFFER A MERGER OF PRADEEP TRANSPORT DESIGNS CO. WITH HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY, INC.


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AFTER LONG HOURS OF CONTRACT CONSIDERATIONS AND MUCH COFFEE FROM HAWAII, A DEAL WAS STRUCK. THE RESULT BEING THE NEW INDIA DIVISION OF HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY, INC., KNOW HERETOFORE AS PRADEEP INDIA AIR TRANSPORT DESIGNS, A DIVISION OF HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY, INC.

THERE ARE MANY EMPLOYEES OF PD'S WHO MAKE HIS COMPANY RUN LIKE A WELL OILED GEAR, IN HIS HUMAN RESOURCE'S DEPT. IS MR. LOU LYON, WHO IS WONDERFUL AT KEEPING EMPLOYEE MORAL HIGH.
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MR. DAFFY THEDUCK WHO IS IN THE PAINT DESIGN AND IMPLEMENTATION DEPT.

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MONSIEUR LATIGGER THE LATIGER, WHO IS IN RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
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HERR BUGGS BUNNINEGER WHO IS IN PUBLIC RELATIONSPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


MASTER SPIDERFOO GONAGETUMYOU IS IN CHARGE OF SECURITY

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THE TWIN SISTERS MISS HUGS AND MISS SMILES ARE IN ADVERTISING
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AND MR. WILL HATCHET IN PERSONEL..

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A VERY IMPRESSIVE STAFF, AND LOTS OF TALENT FROM PD, IS GOING TO TAKE THIS DIVISION INTO THE FUTURE WITH A BULLET!

WATCH THIS SPOT FOR FUTURE TECHNOLOGY DESIGNED TO MAKE THE WORKING MAN AND WOMAN'S LIFE EASIER AND MORE PRODUCTIVE, AND A HECK OF A LOT MORE FUN!

www,doggone.com


( HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER. WE GIVE ALL EMPLOYEES THE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A BUCK FOR US AND WE PAY THEM A NICKEL.)

MERRY CHIRISTMAS

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting **********MY FRIENDS

FROM LOCKIE!


lockerridge


Thursday, December 14, 2006

DEC. 15, 2006 EYE WITNESS ACCOUNT OF THE IGLOO~ SANTA SLEIGH INCIDENT

EYE WITNESS TO THE HORRIBLE CRASH OF SANTA, AND HIS SLEIGH OVER SAKURA'S HOUSE! READ ALL ABOUT IT RIGHT HERE FOLKS! IGLOO'S STORY REFUTED!


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I WATH THERE AND I THAW IT ALL!

I THAW THAT IGLOO , THNEAKING INTO THE HOUTH!

AFTER HE WENT AND WRECKED UP

THANTIES THLEIGH!

YOU ITH A BADDDDD PENGUIN !

I AM TELLING ON YOU, OH YETH I AM!


(GIVE IT UP IGLOO, NO JURY IS GOING TO BELIEVE YOU OVER SWEETIE PIE HERE!)

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MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIENDS,

FROM LOCKIE

lockerridge