OCTOBER 9, 2006 WHEN I MET MY NEIGHBOR LEON.. FOR THE FIRST TIME...

MEET MY REALLY SQUIRRLEY NEIGHBOR ..LEON.. ( NOT REALLY.. BUT HE WON'T HOLD STILL LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET A PHOTO OF HIM THAT IS NOT JUST A BIG BROWN AND GRAY BLUR!.. SO I CHEATED A LITTLE BIT.. EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE THE SAME THING...

OH OKAY..

BILLIONS OF PHOTOS ON HOST SITES..

AND I AM THE ONLY ONE UPLOADING AND BORROWING..

FROM MYSELF..

YOU PEOPLE ARE SO PITIFUL YOU KNOW ......!!! )

HEHEHE!!!

IN AN EFFORT TO GIVE THE ONES WHO READ MY STUFF..( I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU ..

WELL..

OKAY..

MIKEY DOESN'T COUNT ..)

HEHEHEE!

A VISUAL PICTURE ..OF THIS STORY I HOPE TO IMPART TO YOU ALL.. LET ME LIST A FEW OF THE MATERIAL THINGS WHICH ARE INVOLVED IN THE STORY, AND SOME OF THE LIVING THINGS WHICH MAKE THE STORY.. FANTASTIC!

HEHEHE

LEON OF COURSE...

I AM PRETTY SURE HIS IS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE LOCKIE NEIGHBORHOOD CRITTERWATCH TEAM OF " THE SQUIRREL BERETS" SORT OF LIKE THE " GREEN BERETS".. BUT NOT REALLY EITHER..

MORE LIKE.. "THE BROWN BOOTIES"..

HEHEHE

THIS IS A VIEW OF THE TOP OF MY MOBILE HOME.. WITH A BLACK WALNUT TREE WHICH HANGS OVER THE TOP OF THE MOBILE AT ONE END.. THE END THAT MY BEDROOM IS ON...

I KNOW... I KNOW..

I SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THE PLACING OF THE MOBILE HOME A LITTLE BETTER.. CAUSE NO BODY WANTS TO BE DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH A FRUIT OR NUT BEARING TREE... ESPECIALLY IF THERE ROOF IS MADE OF TIN...

BUT I DID..

THESE ARE GREEN BLACK WALNUTS..

THAT ARE ABOUT AS LARGE AS A BASEBALL AND JUST AS HARD ALSO..

THEY FALL FROM THE TREE WHEN THEY HAVE THAT FEELING THAT ALL NUTS DO..

WHEN IT IS TIME TO LEAVE THE TREE ...

I GUESS..

ACTUALLY...

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT NUTS THINK..

OR MAYBE I DO..

HAS ANYONE SEEN DANI?

( YOU KNOW I LUV YA SIS!)

HEHEHEHE

ANYWAY BACK TO THE STORY...

THE FIRST FALL I LIVED IN THE MOBILE HOME IN MY MOTHERS PASTURE.. I WAS SITTING IN MY BATHTUB ENJOYING THE FACT THAT IT WAS BIG ENOUGH THAT I COULD PUT ALL MY STUFF ON THE LEDGE AND STILL BE ABLE TO COMPLETELY SUBMERGE AND NOT KNOCK ANYTHING OFF ... WHEN

I GULPED IN A MOUTH AND NOSE FULL OF CALGON WATER WHEN I HEAR....

" BANG!!"..... " BANG, BANG, BANG,!!!!!"

IT SOUNDED JUST LIKE SOMEONE WAS SHOOTING MY HOUSE! IT WAS NOT STOPPING! IT WAS JUST LIKE A MACHINE GUN WAS BLASTING THE HELL OUT OF MY POOR OLE TRAILER HOUSE..

IT WASN'T DOING MY MENTAL CONDITION ANY REAL BIG FAVORS EITHER!

I OWN SEVERAL WEAPONS NAMED GUNS... BIG ONES.. LITTLE ONES.. ONES THAT SHOOT ARROWS.. ONES THAT SHOOT DARTS.. AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE.. THE ONES THAT SHOOT BULLETS!!!

I INHERITED A WHOLE ARSENAL FROM MY LATE HUSBAND.. WHO IF I WAS NOT SURE OF MY MEMORIES OF LIVING WITH HIM FOR 21 YEARS WOULD SAY HE WAS GEARING UP FOR A SURVIVALIST TYPE SHOOT OUT IN THE NEAR FUTURE....

BUT YOU SEE.. EVEN THOUGH MY FAVORITE ONE IS LOADED AND HIDDEN IN A VERY EASY TO GET TO PLACE BY MY BEDSIDE...

I AM NOT OF THE TYPE WHO WILL GO OUTSIDE AND LURK AROUND WITH MY GUN DRAWN DOING MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE CAGNEY OR LACEY.. OR MAYBE EVEN HORIATIO..

NAHHH.. NOBODY IS AS COOL AS HORIATIO... THEY USE HIS BLOOD FOR VACCINES AND STUFF!

HEHEHE

NOPE, THEY WAY I SEE IT ... IS LIKE THIS.. I GET INTO A CORNER OF A ROOM THAT FACES ALL ENTRANCES.. AND I AIN'T GONA MISS SEEING YOU ... AND THERE FORE.. I AM SURE TO GET THE FIRST WHAMMY IN.. I WILL WORRY ABOUT IF I WILL GO TO JAIL FOR SHOOTING FIRST, AND NEVER ASKING YOU ANYTHING ... EVER...

AFTER THE POLICE HAVE ARRIVED... THEY WILL WANT TO ASK ALL THOSE KINDS OF THINGS OF YOU AND I BOTH, SO WHY DO THINGS TWICE WHEN YOU CAN SAVE TIME......

VERY TIME EFFICIENT THINKER, HUH?

AND A THINKER WHO IS STILL UNHARMED...

THEN I THINK TO MYSELF, AS I TRYING MY BEST TO DRY OFF, PUT ON A ROBE, AND GET MY GUN OUT, WITH OUT EVER LOOKING DIRECTLY AT WHAT I AM DOING..

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH BOTH OF THE DOGS..?

THE ONE OUTSIDE, AND THE ONE INSIDE, WITH ME..

NO HYSTERICAL BARKING.... GROWLING ... OR TRYING TO CLIMB THE WALLS TO SEE WHO IS OUTSIDE BY MIKEY THE WONDERDOG..

GOD REST HIS SWEET SOUL...

I LISTEN CLOSE AND DO NOT HEAR MISS PRISS..

GOING INTO A

" I GOT EM CORNERNED MOM... COME ON OUT AND SHOOT EM.. AND THEN CAN I PLEASE TEAR THEIR EARS OFF..

I WILL SHARE WITH MIKE... I PROMISE!"

KIND OF BARK..

BUT I ..... STILL.. AM HEARING...

BANG!! .... BANG!!!

ON THE ROOF..

ALSO I HEAR THIS SOFTER KIND OF THUMP AFTER I HEAR THE LOUDER BANG BANGS....

WTF!

I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY CAR BEING PARKED IN THE BACK YARD.. I SNEAKED INTO THE DINING ROOM AND LOOKED OUT THE SLIDING DOORS..

IN TIME TO SEE A WALNUT BOUNCE OFF MY CARS HOOD AND THEN CAME ANOTHER AND ANOTHER..

I JERKED OPEN THE SLIDING DOOR IN TIME TO SEE LEON THROWING WALNUTS OUT OF THE TREE ONTO THE ROOF, WHICH THEN BOUNCED ONTO MY CAR!........

THAT WAS OUR FIRST VISIT WITH LEON, AND HIS WALNUT, OLYMPIC CHAMPION, THROWING FAMILY..

I HAVE GOTTEN USED TO BEING AWAKENED EARLY IN THE MORNING BY THE GATHERING OF WINTER STOCKPILES OF WALNUTS BY THE NEIGHBORS..

AND PRISS HAS DEVELOPED A FETISH ABOUT BECOMING REAL CLOSE FRIENDS WITH LEON..

HOPING TO BE INVITING HIM TO BE LUNCH SOME TIME.. HEHEHE

WHICH I AM GOING TO CATCH ON VIDEO SOMEDAY, AND I PROMISE TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL..

THE REAL THING IS VERY ENTERTAINING..

HEHEHEHEE..

SO I LEAVE YOU NOW WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I AM THOUGHLY GREATFUL TO MOTHER NATURE FOR THE LATE FROST IN SOME WAYS.. NOT MANY WALNUTS THIS YEAR!

BUT THAT JUST MEANS..

I WILL BE BUYING SACKS OF CORN TO FEED MY NEIGHBORS..

THE ONES WITH BUSHY TAILS AND FUR.....

AS WELL AS FEATHERS AND A BEAK....

THIS WINTER!

OCTOBER 6, 2007 A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LOCKERRIDGE.. MY WALMART PARKING LOT PAL...

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LOCKERRIDGE

Miss Prissy.... My Walmart Parking Lot Pal

THE RACE IS..... ON!

I have this wonderful dog that goes by the name of Miss Prissy. She is the result of a trip to Walmart one day, while I was doing one of those days of mass confusion.

You know the type I am talking about... those days when you have nothing to do from Sunday til Thursday.. and on Friday you have 3 appointments all within an hour of each other and the last teenager who drove your car left it with a fume to get it started and a prayer to get you to the gas station.

The kind of day that you get in the shower and discover that your loving partner has left the top to the shampoo off and it fell over leaving you with what you can scrape off the floor of the tub to wash you hair with..

The kind of day that you didn't need to scrape it off the floor of the tub, cause when you stepped into the shower you slipped in the spilled shampoo and that is how you head and shampoo made initial contact...

The kind of day when you finally have made all your appointments, and are on your way home .. when your cell phone rings and the human being that resides in the house with you says,

You better stop at Walmart and get some Charmin.. cause I just dropped the last roll in the toliet by accident... oh and get some shampoo too.. you must have left the top off the bottle cause it is all gone.. and I need to take a shower... so hurry up please...

So you get off on the next exit and drive the 10 miles back to Walmart at the exact time school is letting out.

You only have 2 miles to go, to finally reach the Mecca of the Walmart parking lot but it takes you 30 minutes to get there..

It always is a puzzlement to me ...

What is the evil and awful things that bring parents to the point of needing to drop off and then pickup their kids from school everyday..

Especially when there is this big yellow school bus that runs right in front of their house ... and would actually stop and pick the kids up and take them to the place they say will give them all learning.. and then, joyfully drop them off in the afternoon.

This wonderful thing could happen if they would only stand outside at a time, that never changes, every morning and afternoon.

I suppose they have some sort of mania about cooties on bus seats or something.. just plain nuts if you ask me ... but then again.. they didn't ask me.... did they?

The mentality which causes this twice daily walk into the twilight zone...

is also the mentality that causes them to be in competition with each other to see who can cause the most international sign language of discontent, everyone in the world knows how to speak.

It also causes innocent bystanders .. like me... much mental deterioration, and is probably the reason for the need of the over prescribed, and oh so lovely drug.. Valium..

heheheheheeeee!

The kind of day that you are the poor female... with no kids in school for years...

gets stuck behind the exhaust belching, strobe light on top of it and blinking yellow lights at the front and back every time it stops yellow school bus... which in addition to the nausea that the fumes are causing you ... makes you think of all the stuff you have read about seizures that are brought on by bright flashing lights directed in to your eyes...

The kind of day in which the kids on the back seat keep making faces at you..... and showing body parts which they should be embarrassed that they have attached to their adolescent bodies... to you out of the back glass on the emergency exit door..

But I digress don't I?

I do that a lot.. so just bear with me.. it is just one those quirks that makes me ... lockie... and who would change even one hair on my warped head? .....

HOMER?...... hehehehee!

I managed to get to Walmart... on this mission of the toliet paper run from hell... and get my hair brushed.... my lipstick freshened... and my junk I had dumped out of my purse when I threw on the brakes when one kid showed me something out the bus window .. his future wife will not even want to see... poked back into the purse ... and remembered to take the keys out of the ignition before I locked the door to the car.. ( this is a problem I have.... sigh... a lot.... )

Headed full steam ahead to buy the all important Charmin and Tresseme that we all need to be at our smiling best when .....

there suddenly was this lady in front of me with this large cardboard box sitting beside her at the entrance to the store..

She whips out this ball of fur and shoves into my arms before I could say diddly squat!

And what this ball of fur turned out to be was the most adorable puppy I had ever seen in my life!

She looked like a raccoon... seriously.. she even had the rings around her tail..

She just kind of snuggled down into my coat and I was a goner!

So I hid her in my coat pocket and did the zip in .. grab cart from little old man who had only one hand on it.. ( it was still free ground huh?)... get the shampoo, get the tissue, get the puppy chow, get the doggie bed, get the doggie treats, get the Mikey dog something so he won't try to kill the new puppy, get me a snicker bar.. cause I deserve one... mad dash to the checkout where everyone in Walmart is having the same wish.. to checkout and go home .... to wait my turn.. sigh..

I have a lot more to tell you about my pets in particular Prissy.. and this obsession she has with catching this squirel who lives next to our house.. in our walnut tree.. hehehe.. His name is Leon.. yeah I name my squirels.. and Homer doesn't even try to kill him.. I guess it has to be an underground type rodent for him to lose his mind over it! hehehe.. Since I do not have a clear picture of Leon to show to you .. here is the Lockie no. 1 id photo I am known for mostly..

No it is not because my personality is most like one of them either... is it? hehehe

lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 28, 2007 A REALLY GREAT FREE POWER TOY FOR PHOTOS FROM MICROSOFT.. I LIKE IT!

A LITTLE TOOL I USE A LOT AND THINK YOU MIGHT ENJOY USING TOO IS THIS LITTLE THING FROM MICROSOFT CALLED A POWER TOY IMAGE RESIZER ..

IT IS A FREE DOWNLOAD FOR WINDOWS XP... AND THIS IS HOW THIS LITTLE JEWEL WORKS..

I HAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA THAT I KEEP SET ON 3.5 PIXELS. THIS GIVES ME A FANTASTIC COLOR AND CLARITY.. BUT IT ALSO GIVES ME THESE HUGE PICTURES... I HAVE TO RESIZE .

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS USUALLY WHEN YOU RESIZE ANYTHING, IT LOSES ITS MAGIC IN COLOR AND FOCUS..

I STARTED OUT WITH A PICTURE THAT WAS 518 KBS AND 2304X1728 IN HEIGHT AND WIDTH..

THIS WILL NOT WORK ...

I DOWNLOADED THIS POWER TOY. IT SITS ON MY DROP DOWN MENU WHEN I AM UPLOADING. JUST RIGHT CLICK, AND CHOOSE THE RESIZE OPTION FROM THE DROP DOWN MENU.

YOU HAVE SEVERAL PREMADE SIZES TO CHOOSE FROM OR YOU CAN CLICK THE ADVANCED TAB AND IT GIVES YOU A CUSTOM SIZE SLOT TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN DIMENSIONS FROM .. THEN TELL IT OKAY...

IT MAKES THE RESIZED COPY AND PLACES IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FOLDER YOU ARE WORKING FROM INITIALLY.

THEN WHEN YOU CLOSE THE UPLOADING BOX IT WILL MOVE THE PHOTO TO SIT BESIDE THE ORIGINAL.

IT DOES NOT USE THE ORIGINAL, IT DUPLICATES IT TO THE SIZE YOU ASK IT TO.. COOL HUH?

THIS IS WHAT I GOT FROM THAT HUGE PICTURE .. 33KBS IN PIXEL SIZE AND 640X480 IN HEIGHT AND WIDTH WITH NO LOSS OF CLARITY IN FOCUS OR COLOR!

IT HAS THE "LOCKERRIDGE THUMBS ^ UP AWARD" OF KEEPING ITS PROMISE TO ME!

THANKYOU MICROSOFT FOR SOMETHING

FREE THAT WORKS!

YOU CAN FIND IT AND A LOT MORE REALLY NEAT FREE DOWNLOADS FOR WINDOWS XP FROM MICROSOFT AT THIS LINK UP ...

http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/powertoys/xppowertoys.mspx

lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 26, 2007 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID! OMEGAPATTEN IS IN THE HOUSE!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID!!

HERE IS OMEGAPATTEN

"BOHEMIAN RAPHSODY"

BY QUEEN....

I HAD TO REMOVE THE VIDEO IN DEFERENCE TO THE NEXT BLOGS. BUT HERE IS THE LINKUP TO THE VIDEO.. THE YOUNGUN IS TRULY A GENIUS! HEHEHEE

http://www.funnyjunk.com/movies/607/Bohemian+Rapshody/
Funny Videos

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID!

HEHEHEHEEE

HIS ID NAME ON THE SITE I FOUND THESE AT IS OMEGAPATTEN.

IT IS SIMPLY A YOUNG MAN WHO IS BORED OUT OF HIS MIND, WITH ACCESS TO A VIDEO CAMERA.. AND A STEREO..

THIS IS HIS SECOND ATTEMPT AT A VIDEO.

THE FIRST ONE IS ENTITLED

"SUGAR WE'RE COMIN OUT SWINGIN'"

I AM HIS NUMBER ONE FAN..

I CAN BE FEELING REALLY CRABBY AND JUST PLAIN MEAN ..

THEN IT HITS ME..

"LOCKIE GO WATCH BOHEMIAN RAPHSODY ..."

SUDDENLY WHAT EVER WAS BOTHERING ME...... JUST KIND OF SEEMS SILLY AND A WASTE OF TIME..

MAKES ME SEE THAT SOMETIMES WE TAKE THE WORLD AND OURSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY!

GO SEE THE OTHER VIDEO HE HAS MADE AT THIS LINK UP

http://www.funnyjunk.com/movies/642/Sugar+Were+Goin+Down+Swingin/

OMEGAPATTEN.. YOU ROCK!

lockerridge