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Saturday, May 23, 2009
MAY 23, 2009 SEX WITH A COWBOY.. ..
Thursday, May 21, 2009
MAY 21, 2009 IN 1924 THE THINGS WE COULD THINK OF WERE AMAZING!
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This is for Danis eyes only!
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Friday, May 15, 2009
MAY 15, 2006 JACKSONS GIFT FROM AUNT DANI
JACKSONS GIFT
FROM AUNT DANI
“THE DIRT DEVIL SPOT SCRUBBER”
“NO BARK COLLAR”
No more barking..
a true miracle product..
Jackson says.. "Woof Woof Woof WoOf"
...." Woof Woof WOOF!"
That means..
THANK YOU AUNT DANI!
I LOVE IT!
ON WITH THE SHOW!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
MAY 14, 2009 UNITED FRIENDS WRITERS GROUP CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR....
UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER
ONE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR....
I AM EVERYWHERE
Monday, May 11, 2009
MAY 11, 2009 UNITED FRIENDS WRITERS GROUP CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE....HOMEWORK IN THE 21ST CENTURY ! ? !
UNITED FRIENDS WRITERS GROUP CHALLENGE NUMBER
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE....
HOMEWORK IN THE 21ST CENTURY
The following story is a blog I posted on Yahoo 360 a couple of years ago. I have edited it, in hopes of improving its entertainment value, by using a few of the skills I have learned from being a part of this group. It is based on a true story and is the whole story., nothing has been changed to protect anyone, because none of us were innocent!
HOMEWORK IN THE
TWENTY FIRST CENTURY
My stepson, Jeff, is a class member of that group of elite males and females, in the long fought for, class of seniors this year.
He is also a member of a class with the impressive sounding name of Parenting for Responsible Young Adults.
Although this is evident to most anyone who has the brains to notice a bumble bee when it flies up your nose, the teacher of this class, takes it seriously.
They cost what?
Half a cent each? humm......
They also will report if you handle them roughly, do not see to their immediate cry of distress, and they will go into the worst kind of hiccuping squall if they need to be burped.
( sounds like Marilyn Monroe and her speech to Mr. President)...
eeeeeeewwwww!
Every sound this "real baby", made of plastic and computer chips makes, he is supposed to record in a little book that comes in the diaper bag, that holds diapers with magnetic type closures, two bottles, each carrying a computer chip which communicates with a chip inside the doll.
He has a plastic bracelet with a magnetic key attached to it, that is permanently, attached to his wrist, for the duration of the three day homework assignment.
(HA!)
A phone call at that time in the morning to Ms. Dedicated teacher, did cross my mind!
That phone call would probably have been the highlight of my entire year.. but I am a wuss.. and I just tried to help him shut up, "The Cyber Horror From Hell", we had in our midst.
Throughout this entire happening, Jeff's' father slept on, blissfully unaware of the chaos surrounding him.
Well a Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do, ya know!
I told him if she gave him any static whatsoever, to call me, and I would be glad to have a talk with her, and the principal, or the superintendent, and I am best friends with the president of the school board!
I put "The Resident Evil", on the bed and went about doing the laundry folding. It watched me from its spooky plastic eyes, that follow you wherever you go in the room.
I left the room and located my screwdriver and shoved it in my back pocket, for emergencies and stuff.
Just in case it did turn out to be the Chuckie Clone, as I suspected....you understand I am sure.
Maybe this homework assignment has some redeeming qualities, but they are few and far between!
I made it till just about an hour before Jeff. was to be home, and the thing wanted to get a bottle. It makes these little," gunk, gunk" sounds, and then it coos every minute or so....... and you have to document what sound and the time it makes it, in the little notebook. The thing drank and cooed for 30 minutes.... and then it wanted to be burped.
Now remember I had to also write all this down in the book.
He even named her Jeffrine!
Even though he tried all his fatherly tricks, the thing still was not cooperating.
Sure wished I had promised not to call Miss Dedicated Teacher... but a promise is a promise..
I really regret not getting a recording of the banshee scream. It might be the piece of evidence that some future parent needs to get out of an assault and battery charge pressed by The Dedicated Teacher.
The End
Terri McCain/lockerridge
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Paint.NET - Download
http://www.getpaint.net/download.html#download
About
Paint.NET is free image and photo editing software for computers that run Windows. It features an intuitive and innovative user interface with support for layers, unlimited undo, special effects, and a wide variety of useful and powerful tools. An active and growing online community provides friendly help, tutorials, and plugins.
It started development as an undergraduate college senior design project mentored by Microsoft, and is currently being maintained by some of the alumni that originally worked on it. Originally intended as a free replacement for the Microsoft Paint software that comes with Windows, it has grown into a powerful yet simple image and photo editor tool. It has been compared to other digital photo editing software packages
such as Adobe® Photoshop®, Corel® Paint Shop Pro®, Microsoft Photo Editor, and The GIMP.
Friday, May 8, 2009
MAY 8, 2009... UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED FORTY TWO.. THE LYSOL BLUES
I posted an ad in Craigs List
The one place I knew that they would get my jist
"Please come to the rescue!"
"I found a moldy potato under my fridge"
ohhhhhhh ....
I been sprayin'
and prayin'
gallons of lysol I been buyin'
losing this smell in so tryin'
I got the lysol blues
Thursday, May 7, 2009
MAY 7, 2009 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED FORTY ONE... HENRIETTA HORTENSE HUGGINS
ONE HUNDRED FORTY ONE...
Monday, May 4, 2009
MAY 4, 2009 IMAGES OF LIFE IN LOCKIE LAND TODAY
He loves to crawl up on Gary's arm and go to sleep.. snoring sleep .. deep puppy sleep!I have never seen a dog do this kind of thing before, ever.. the top picture is more in keeping with what dogs will usually do when they sleep. Jackson has not sprouted any tail feathers yet so we are hoping it is just a passing phase.
If it isn't, well Gary needs to start lifting weights.. because this little guy is growing by leaps and bounds, and pretty soon, he is going to be quite a chunk of weight to let sleep on his shoulder.
He wants to sleep in the bed, so I let him. I wake up in the mornings and he is up on the top of my pillow with his head laid on the top of mine.. go figure!
I enjoyed presenting them to you!
MAY 4, 2009 THIS IS JUST PRETTY DARN COOL!
JUST PRETTY
DARN COOL!
I liked what I saw for sure!
It beats the heck out of the news sites, and their continuous doom to America via the world ..
be it terrorism or pig snotty nose killer viruses..
it is always a real uplifting thing to do..
yes sir ..
the news is really just GREAT all the time huh?.
NOT!
So when this showed up on the screen, I was pleasantly surprised!
This group of people are moving along pretty quickly with over 6 million hits to this website when I was there early yesterday morning.
This is the video and the song they sing..
I placed the url to the site at the bottom..
I signed my name to their petition
I also sent this url to my congressman,
in his weekly wipe up email from me..
.lol..
He always writes back,
Not a form letter either!
Either I have a really great representative..
Or he picked me to write to,
because I am on his ass constantly!
Since the fiasco our country has fallen into
due the actions of those we trusted..
We are advised to
make them be accountable
for all actions they take
So I figured I ought to try it out.
I am making the most of the
opportunity to learn a new skill,
Babysitting a government full of spoiled rotten brats
is kind of fun, if you go about it, with the right attitude.
After all.. they asked for it.. didn't they?
I love the smell of harassment in the mornings!
BORN AGAIN IN AMERICA
Thursday, April 30, 2009
APRIL 30, 2009 THIS IS MY OPINION... WHAT IS YOURS?
In 2006 there were a lot of rumors flying all over the news and internet emailing routes finding its way into in boxes and living rooms all over the world. The focus of the rumor was the song "In God We Trust" performed by the country music group Diamond Rio.
When have the feelings of a few become the normal way of things being decided for the majority?
We live in a democracy in the United States of America. Democracy does not mean that we all get what we want all the time! Democracy means the majority .. not the minority .. of the people!
If you read it, and don't try to put anything other than what it says in reality, it says the government has no place at any time involving itself in our religious beliefs. It does not make a difference in any kind of belief. It just says .. it will not happen. Yet those four people were allowed to drag it into the court for a ruling on a religious basis.
If only four of them took exception.. it would seem to me that the MAJORITY of the others did not.. am I correct in this assumption folks?
The freedom to pull their children from the program, if it offended them, is freedom enough it would seem to me. The kids were not being MADE to be a part of it. They had the freedom of choice well served in that alone. But they chose to get the court involved and put a restriction on everyone elses' freedom of choice, by the judge being made to make a ruling on the complaint.
That case should have been thrown in the trash when the judge first looked at, and those stupid lawyers who brought it to him, told to stop wasting the courts time with frivolous suits or risk having themselves brought up on charges! That would have served the constitution better than what he did.
I am a Christian, make no mistake in whom and what I believe in. I worship God the Father, I am soul saved by Jesus Christ, and I am led and taught by The Holy Spirit.
School nurses are prevented from giving our kids an aspirin if they have a headache, but they are free to hand out condoms.
Teachers are required to teach, that same sex marriage is just another life style, and perfectly okay.
In my state I see children being commanded to undergo the fat pinch test. If the nurse is able to pinch more than inch of body fat on a child.. those children are then required to go into a physical exercise class, this is a separate class from PE..
it is Nazi Fat Concentration Camp!
With a agenda of making everyone the same, placing their reasoning for doing so on "It is for our own good"...
If they would stop putting up all the findings of the studies being done on everything from the effect of whiskey on tsetse flies to ignoring the damage being done to the environment by the space shuttle and launching of satellites into outer space, as what is best for me... and leave us alone about the BEST way to live .. we just might not have so many people on anti depressants, suffering from ulcers, and in need of national health insurance.
I am sending an email to my representative and including a link to this blog.. so bring on the comments my friends.. maybe they will get read by someone who has a dab of power over the way things are handled in our country.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
APRIL 29, 2009 A LOCKIE WEDNESDAY FUNNY FIND
LOCKIE
THE BLACK PANTIES
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet."
Their first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties, he was in his birthday suit.
She stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit.
Except, now he was wearing a black condom.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
APRIL 22, 2009 HAPPY EARTH DAY EARTHLINGS!
MUST BE SOME KIND OF
"CREATE A CRITTER"
SPRING TONIC!
BABBBBYYYY!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
APRIL 21, 2009 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND THRITY SEVEN... WHOA! I AM DEFINTELY NOT IN ARKANSAS ANYMORE!
NOT IN ARKANSAS ANYMORE!
This post is the property of Vinnie Parker.. .. . given as gift by Terri McCain
All rights therefore belong to Vinnie Parker.
Vinnie and Flask are copyrighted trademark symbols
and are the sole property of Vinnie Parker.
Where was I?"
ITS ALIENS ..
I HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!
OMG! OMG!...
O..M... G... !!!!!!
This place might not be so bad, but it was not where I should be at all.
humm...
Then I heard a sound, sort of like something being dragged along a cement sidewalk... it was getting closer whatever it was!
Then all got quiet... except the room got rather warm, rather quickly... I opened one eye a slit..
and......
"OMG! OMG! OMG!
ITS A SNAKE.!
IT IS A FREAKING SNAKE.!
WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A SNAKE.!
I HATE SNAKES! "
I opened my eyes and what the heck?
I recognized the being sticking its snout around the door sill ...
"Flask?"
Was I?
" Sure I am always hungry, I will be right out!"
I attempted to actually say all that without stuttering, and it worked apparently, because he puffed a couple more smoke rings at me and started to back up. His head was the only thing, small enough to get into the doorway.
So in keeping with the fact that Vinnie is my friend, and I had been the one to give her the dragon egg that turned into Flask.. maybe she would not let him eat me instead of the bacon.
cause this just ain't right now!
I stopped on that thought for a second,
" What if she had no idea how I had gotten here?"
" What if I have to stay here?"
" I still have so much work to do on the remodeling of the house, the garden needs hoed out, and Homer will starve to death if I am not there to cook for him!"
I took another couple of minutes to let that kind of soak in to my consciousness.. and then I grinned...
I stopped and thought on that one more than a couple seconds and decided..
Maybe .. I wouldn't even ask!
With a skip to my step. I traveled down the hall. following my nose to the bacon.
And there was my buddy Vinnie,
just taking those biscuits out of the oven..
umm umm ummm..
I think I like being lost in space!
Over eating a fantastic breakfast Vinnie gave me the downlow or the lowdown, depending on which dictionary you favor, on what had happened.
Apparently, Vinnie and Flask had been listening to me over the almost four years now.. saying I was going to get busy on the house and move in to it... and being the intelligent woman and reptile duo, they decided to give me a little break before they took me back to the world of...
YUCK!
reality....
They contacted Homer, and he knew that I would not get out of my computer chair long enough to actually go visit a friend, so they hatched the plot to whisk me away in the night.
This being possible without me being wiser for it..
.Because
Homer had doctored my Coca Cola
with Nyquil...
This would have to be discussed at length once I arrived home.. but for the next two weeks, I have my very own hot tub maker at my service and the company of one
of the finest friends I have ever had.
I think I like being a story book character...
The food is simply wonderful!
Flask can BBQ like nobody else in the world!
The End
Terri McCain/lockerridge
for
Vinnie Parker
visit Vinnie and Flask online
and look through some of their adventures
at the link below
vinnie and flask
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