momma can you see this baby? please message me or comment if you can. I am working out the x problem, maybe.
Turning the Pages of My Life
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Entry for August 29, 2006 WHAT CAN TEACHING A CHILD TEACH US?
AS I READ THE FOLLOWING CAPTIONS I STOPPED AND THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THEY MEAN TO A PARENT.
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE VOICE OF REASON IN MY SON'S LIFE. AT LEAST THAT IS THE WAY I SEE MY REACTION TO SOME OF HIS IDEALISTIC ADVENTURES.
HE THINKS I AM TOO NEGATIVE. HE IS MAYBE A LITTLE BIT RIGHTWHEN HE ADVISES ME, AND WHEN HE SAYS THIS IT IS WITH ALL THE ADULT SERIOUSNESS A 22 YEAR OLD MALE CAN MUSTER, THAT I SHOULD TAKE BUNGIE JUMPING LESSONS , LOOSEN UP, AND LIVE A LITTLE! HE DISCOVERED ME ON THE TELEPHONE ONE AFTERNOON LAUGHING AND HAVING A WONDERFUL CONVERSATION. HE ASKED AFTER I HAD HUNG UP, WHO I WAS ENJOYING TALKING TO SO MUCH.
I DID NOT WANT TO TELL HIM. HE PERSISTED. I FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND TOLD HIM. HE LAUGHED AND THEN SAID, " MOM, YOU DEFINTELY NEED TO TAKE BUNGIE JUMPING LESSONS, CAUSE THAT IS JUST SAD!"
I WAS TALKING TO THE LADY AT THE TELEPHONE OFFICE I HAD CALLED TO STRAIGHTEN OUT A CHARGE ON MY BILL THAT WAS NOT MINE, WHEN IN FACT MY SON HAD CALLED SOMEONE AND HAD NOT TOLD ME. WE GOT TO VISITING ABOUT OUR KIDS AND ACTUALLY HAD A WONDERFUL TIME. ABOUT 30 MINUTES WORTH.
HUMMM.............BUNGIE JUMPING LESSONS?
I WONDER IF I MAYBE TOOK UP BONSAI GROWING LESSONS HE WOULD TAKE ME OUT OF HIS " I THINK SHE IS BREATHING" CATAGORY OF WASTED MOMENTS AND PUT ME INTO AT LEAST " HOPE FOR THE FUTURE, MAYBE" CATAGORY? OH WELL, IF I AM HIS VOICE OF REASON,( HE CALLS IT NEGATIVITY) AND ALL 22 YEAR OLD MALES NEED ONE, HE WILL AT LEAST HAVE TO SLOW DOWN LONG ENOUGH TO HAND ME MY CANE!
EITHER WAY, IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF A REASON WHY YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING , JAMIE SAYS TO DO IT......"CAUSE THE CHICKS DIG IT!"
LOCKERRIDGE
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Entry for August 29, 2006/ ANOTHER CUTE LITTLE TOY TO ENJOY!
Click here: Jackson Pollock by Miltos
CLICK ONTO THE MOUSE AND IT CHANGES COLORS EACH TIME YOU CLICK! SLING IT, WIGGLE IT BACK AND FORTH, RIGHT CLICK AND ZOOM IN, REWIND IT, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS!
I REALLY GOTTA STOP PLAYING WITH THESE TOYS MY AUNT SENDS ME. I AM BEGINNING TO CRAVE GRAHAM CRACKERS AND MILK, AND I NEED TO LAY DOWN FOR AN AFTERNOON NAP, OR I GET CRANKY!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Entry for August 25, 2006 THE TEXAS CHILI COOKOFF ----BEST JOKE EVER!
Texas Chili Cook-off
If you can read the whole story without tears of laugher running down your cheeks then there's no hope for you.
NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast. .
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions of two judges (Native Texans). They said that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1: A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge #3 (Frank): Holy Mother of God! What is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3: Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face!
CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1: Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers
Judge # 3: Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before the flames that come from my ears ignite again. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. blonde lady is starting to look HOT - just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. They told me chili is an aphrodisiac!
CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.! It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. She must be braver than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore, and I really need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2: Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI #8: TOMMY'S TOE-NAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1: The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2: This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili!
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EVERY TIME I READ THIS I LOSE IT! THE PART WHERE HE HAS TO RESORT TO USING A SNOWCONE FOR TOLIET TISSUE IS FANTASTIC, BUT THE BEST ONE IS HIS FEAR OF WHAT IS IN HIS PANT EATING A HOLE THROUGH HIS CHAIR, AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND HIM NEEDING PARAMEDICS HAS ME ROLLING IN THE FLOOR EVERY TIME.
I FOUND THIS A LONG TIME AGO ON JOKES AND RIDDLES CATAGORY IN ANSWERS AND THE GUY'S NAME WAS BULLDOG WHO RECEIVED BEST ANSWER FOR HIS SUBMISSION. I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM ON THE SITE SINCE. I GUESS WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR BEST , THERE IS NOT A LOT LEFT TO BE SAID!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Entry for August 24, 2006
| Muppets' Wizard of Oz The Muppets' Wizard of Oz DVD comes out on August 9th! Check out the ABC.com Muppets' Oz site for pictures and streaming video... and you can download the teaser ads at Scarecroe.com!
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The theme for the day seems to be these adorable little fuzzy fake personalities that are known the world over. Who doesn't love the muppets? No one!
So I have not seen this rendition of The Wizard of Oz, but I will certainly look for it now. Thanks to Wisteria Rose for the mentioning and therefore looking for images to copy and paste with permission of course and it led me to this ad and well it is going to submit I hope. thanks again Wisteria love and hugs sweet sister!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Entry for July 22, 2006
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France
Hello good friends,
I am as you may be able to tell, just a little bit tense and tired of it. No, lets make that a lot tired of it. The only person who can fix this is me. So I am going to do just that. Like the quote above tells you and I,all change is uncomfortable, but it is inevitable. It is going to come. If you don't learn to roll with it , you will get rolled over, and become food for the crows. I will not be among the picked upon or apart if I can help it. I am being trained for something. I don't even know what in, but I am going to roll with it, and try not to go insane. Try is a very big word isn't it? Hummmmm..... this may take some more thought,so onto a new and brighter subject.
I went into partnership with my cousin Al to buy 10 acres of property today. We are going to purchase it from our other cousin who lives in California. His dad bought the property from our other uncle and all of them have passed on now. So the Calif. part of the family is willing to sell his share of Ark. back to the Arkansans. It is a nice wooded parcel and get this it has a well already drilled and in a little well house. The electricity is run to the property, and it has on it some Indian grave mounds! This is so exciting to me. I hope they have not been robbed so I might contact the university and see if they would like to do a dig there. I have always loved archeology and this would just put me over the top in exictement. Al said it would be okay with him if I contacted the UofA and tried to get a field team to evaluate it for us.
If nothing else perhaps we could get a historical rating for the property and maybe set up a small viewing for a fee to a select group or two per summer. I don't want a tourist attraction, but I would share it if I find out it is a neat place to just sit and ponder the universe or if it is a bad thing and cursed. The possiblities are endless with my imagination! I always have wanted a place to draw and paint and write prose or narrative in peace and quiet and this is definetly a place of quiet and I don't know about the peace yet till I can walk and sit there for a while. I bet I could talk Al into a little cabin for sure to get us out of the rats ended race we seem to be running lately.
My boyfriend thinks it would be a good investment for me to make and I trust his judgement about stuff like this. He is not one to say yes to much of anything that might be a little risk of losing money on, but this one he was immediately all for. That tells me it is pretty safe to take on.
My other cousin, the fifteen year old girl that I am going to call Princess, is here until the end of next week. Her grandmother/ mother has willed her to have her house when she turns 18 and her truck when she turns 16. I sure hope she is not going to become someone who you can't put their head in a five gallon bucket. This kind of thing can make a kid go a little too independent and she is already too much that way now. Al is going to rent the house to put money in an account for college for her. If she makes it to college. She was supposed to attend summer school, but well, she didn't so I have no idea what kind of crap they will have to straighten out for her this fall. I hope her dad does not allow her to live here with Al. He offered but she needs to be with her dad now. And he needs to get a hold on her before it is too late to try to get her some sense in her head and something on her mind besides how she is being mistreated. Good grief the kid is so conceited, and so accomplished at shoveling bull pucky that I cannot hardly stand her. I do not want to be the one to have to be her primary care giver. I would probably be charged with abuse in the near future, because her hind end would definetly know what it feels like to get me to swat it a couple of swats when she starts this poor pitiful me, and runs off to pout. I cannot stand that kind of stuff from anyone at all.
Onward to something else. I guess I will start trying to line up a remodeling contractor soon. I should have my mom's estate about cleared up next month and I am going to move into her house. I can't though until I do some changing. I still miss her a whole lot. I mean a whole lot. But it isn't so sharp now. Losing aunt emma jean has really brought my son to his grief over his grandma though. He just would not stop and deal with it. Now it is hitting hard and I am glad I learned a long time ago to let it hurt and get the scar tissue over the hurt, early on. Running away is worse when it catches you . And it always catches you.
Enough for today, hope everything is going to turn out for the best. Or I guess I will deal with God's plan however the best way I can.
lockerridge
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end. matchbox 20 closing time
She wished to be cremated and they are going to make the arrangements tomorrow. She requested to be placed in the cemetary with all of her brothers and sister( my momma) in the appropriate type grave and a marker erected for her. It will be done as she desired. I do not wish to attend these arrangements, but I have a lot of experience at it,and well if Al asks I will go.
This morning I went as usual to Al's house to take over care duty and Al told me she had slept all night without waking. He got up several times to check her and she was sleeping soundly. I figured she was glad to have gotten all of her business taken care of last night, and had finally relaxed. I did not wake her until 9:00a.m., well I tried with ice water and a cloth to wake her and wet her mouth, but she would not wake up. I did not feel I should call 911, at that time. She was sleeping deeply and had a percosett before bed as well as a lunesta. She should have been asleep. I called Al instead. He elected to come home and try to wake her himself. He tried and she roused enough to shake her head and mouth the words no, no, no, no more. He asked if she was sure and she shook her head yes. I washed her face and hands, I tucked her covers around her and I let her sleep.
Al and I talked about all of her wishes, she had begged both of us to not let her die in a hospital or nursing home. She was at the time to do one or the other of these things, as Al's finacee was not going to be able to care for her alone even with my part time help. She was lying in a sort of U shape and she was not able to bend out of it. I felt so helpless, I just kept wetting her lips and hand combing her hair. Al said he needed a few things from the store and I volunteered to go, and let him have some alone time with her. I was gone for about 3 hours, returned at around 2:30p.m. She was breathing more shallowly, but still steady. I wet her face and lips, tried to get her to take a drop or two of water from my fingertips, no avail, and left her room around 3:30p.m. I talked to Al for a while and he was calling her granddaughter for the 15th time since this morning, I went back in to check on her. It was around 4:30p.m. and she woke up when I placed the washcloth to her mouth, and shook her head at me no. I asked wasn't she thirsty, she shook her head no once again, I told her that her granddaughter was on the way and she got really agitated , shaking her head and moving it from side to side saying no, no, with her lips. I calmed her by telling her she did not have to do anything she did not want to do. I went out to get Al and tell him she was awake . We needed to get some liquids into her and call 911. If she was lucid and could recognize me, she was not going to go today. We could still help her maybe, but when we went back in at 5:10 p.m. she was gone. Gone.........gone.......
Coroners and Ems vehicles and the funeral home all made the parade today and it is over for the physical pains, and mental suffering she so bravely withstood to make everything right for her family. She was one of the bravest women ever to be born. I am envious of her place to which she sees all of our family waiting for her. Today marks the end of Emma Jeans beginning. And the new beginning from that ending. Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.
lockerridge
Friday, July 14, 2006
July15,2006------Passion always comes with a high price to pay..............
Hello my friends,
This is a day I would rather not have in my life. I am sure that it is a day no one wishes for themselves ever. I was asked to help someone I love to gain release from pain, permanently. I could not do it. I am torn up inside and can't patch myself back together it seems. What does a person do when they are asked to help someone pass on? When they love the person and have watched them everyday struggle to live, and it gets no better, only worse. The pain they are feeling is so intense they pass out at times. There is no cure, there is no hope for anything in the future except pain and loss of personal pride. The help they ask for is readily available to you to give to them, in the form of legally prescribed powerful pain medication. I am a coward I fear. I could not live with that on my list of "did I do the right thing?" questions for God when I see Him. I fear it would be wrong, but is what she is suffering right? It must be for He has not called her to Him yet. Tests such as these are cruel to ones mind and heart, and the scars last forever.
I have noticed in the last 10 years of my life, that God will give you what you hate most to deal with before you die. Whatever you are in your lifetime, He will take it from you, to spend your last days as naked as you came into the world. If you are independent and self-centered, you will be given the humbling to become totally dependent on others and you must think about others to be in this condition. You think of all of the people in the past you could have helped, should have helped, but didn't. You will be faced with having all the decisions of how you will live your life and spend your money given to someone else. You will be completely dependent on others. You will have to accept what you hate the most as being what you are now.
If you are dependent and timid, you will have what you are leaning upon and hiding behind taken away and you will have to stand on your own in front of a crowd. You will be forced to be the total opposite of what you have been all of your life. This is God's way of showing you who He is and what He can do. In short He shows you He is in control, He is God, not you.
I have had my faith tested and stretched out so far it has cracked and torn, but I always have managed to tape up the cracks and glue it back together when it gets torn. I know who God is and I sure will never forget it. I just wish I could stop being taught so many lessons. I am too dumb to breathe, I think sometimes. Too many I's in this blog. Need to get to some of the How are you, part of it me thinks. (no I)
But since I have had no time to be here in a while, there is nothing much to report except, my aunt is a lot worse, as you may have guessed. She is on Percosett's now and they are making the pain easier, but not gone. I can only guess at what it would be like if her circulation were to suddenly return and all of the wounds she has were to regain all nerve feelings. It would be so bad she could not even scream. As it is she turned white and passed out the other day when she stood up to be helped into her chair, from her bed. 1 step away. I caught her, but I will never forget it, ever.
This sclerderma disease is the most cruel illness I have ever witnessed before. Cancer is mild compared to it. I have watched her turn into a hard plastic like person. Her skin has many lesions where the collagen has collected into a open place beneath the skin and the skin tightened on it and it just splits open like, well, a watermelon. If she happens to tap herself just a little bit she does not bruise as you and I know it. She just get a red place and that turns into a hard knot that opens and looks a lot like an eyeball, in its socket. And it does not get well. Nothing does. It just gets bigger and more sore. I would to God, He had never let this happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She has probably in one weeks time eaten enough to fill one dinner plate with food. She takes 23 pills a day, and that does not include the salves and cremes to be rubbed onto the skin and her wounds. I am the caretaker during the day and she is not a good patient. She has gotten meaner than a snake the last few days and has taken to chewing me out for any and everything that is wrong. I have had no time for myself at all in a long time, and I am sorry to say, I am resentful of it. She is more demanding and I am worn out. Her son is worn out. We are all about to lose our minds, but she is still with us and I will continue to keep her out of nursing facility as lon as possible. We have a program here for home health workers to come out periodically as well as hospice, which starts next week. Maybe I will get some relief then. And so will she.
Gotta go and do something else or I will never sleep tonight, take care of yourselves my friends, have the time of your life every single day, and if you are wanting to do something, and keep putting it off till a better time of money or free time. Stop and go do it now. Tomorrow may not allow you this curtesty, of manipulating your life.
lockerridge.
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