DEC.6,2006 WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

                                                              

The above photo is of a piece of toast. A regular piece of toast. Made from white bread. With margarine or butter spread on it. No jelly, no jam, no marmalade, not even any cinnamon and sugar.

This particular piece of toast sold for 28,000 dollars on e-bay! Now look really, really closely at this piece of stale cooked bread with butter on it. Do you see anything that would entice you to spend 28,000 dollars to possess it?

But apparently to someone who is either very physic, or has too much money... it looks like the face of the Virgin Mary......

 

                                                            

 

The above roll was on display in the window of a bakery in Germany for many months, till someone actually stole it from the bakery window! Look at this roll very closely, do you see anything that would entice you to commit burglary to possess it?

It looks like a piece of dough that has been baked a little bit too  long to me. But to others it looks like Mother Theresa.....?????

Okay I am the first one to say, some people see things that others don't . As a matter of fact I have been on the receiving end of witty cuts, about things I can see in clouds and rocks, and pieces of wood etc.

But this has me completely undone! I heard the other day some one actually paid an enormous amount of money for a cup on ebay. A regular, ordinary, plastic drinking cup. Like you get at the dollar store for your kids when they are little. Unbreakable, yellow, plastic, dollar store cup. That Elvis drank from.... now am I wrong... or has it been rumored that Elvis has gone to the big sound stage in the sky? But this person had a cup he drank from....... um hummm.... and someone else actually bought it........ like I said in the title.... WHAT IS WRONG WITH  PEOPLE?

28,000 dollars for a stale piece of bread with some brown markings on it that some one drew on there with a magic marker while eating their cereal one morning, is not a sign from God! It is a piece of toast. Eat it. 

A hot roll is just a hot roll. Eat it.

A plastic drinking cup is just a plastic drinking cup. Drink out of it, wash it and reuse it. Then when it gets cracked, throw it away!

I repeat................WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

We are either the most gullible generation ever born, or the richest! We seem to actively be searching for people to rip us off! Then the kicker is we whine about it when we do get ripped off! Wake up folks! There are people out there just waiting for that sucker who is born every minute! I have been that sucker, but I did learn from the experience. These folks seem to never learn.... 

 

Here is list of things one might want to check off on before purchasing something from anyone..... especially from the internet.....

1. Do I need this thing? Will it enhance my sex life, or maybe make my hair shiny, or something important like that?

2. Has the reputed original owner of said item been dead for a loooooong time?

3. What is this thing made from? ( from the photos on ebay it could be anything from plaster of paris corn on the cob, to drinking straws twisted into the shape of a possum.)

4. What is the shipping and handling on this thing, is it more that item retails for?

5. Is this thing, something that only idiots would buy? Am I an idiot?

6. Does my mother own one of these?

7. Will it max out my credit card? Will I have to mortgage my house to pay for it? Will I have to promise my inheritance for collateral?

8. Can it be insured for the amount of money I am paying for it? ( moldy bread is not usually insurable)

9. Can I eat it, if I lose all my money to someone, who steals my identity, because I bought stuff over the internet?

10. And the tenth and final one is ...... Will my husband kill me when he gets the Master Card bill, and all I have to show him is a piece of toast without any jelly on it?

lockerridge

 

DEC. 5, 2006 CANDID CAMERA 2006 , LOCKERRIDGE PHOTO ALBUM OF FOOLISH FAME

I HAVE SAVED A LOT OF PHOTOS THIS YEAR TO USE IN A BLOG FOR THE END OF THE YEAR.  I ASSURE YOU I DO NOT FEEL MORE INTELLIGENT THAN THESE PEOPLE, I HAVE JUST NOT BEEN CAUGHT ON CAMERA YET! ENJOY LOOKING AT THESE AND THE FEELING OF INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY, EVEN THOUGH IT WILL ONLY LAST A SHORT TIME, IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME! LOL

 

                                                 2006 "STUCK ON STUPID AWARD"

THIS FELLA, IS NOT ONLY USING  REALLY WEAK LOOKING 2X4'S  FOR A JACK, HE IS IN A RESIDENTAL AREA, USING A WELDER ON HIS "GASOLINE" TANK! 

LOOK AT THE BOARDS THIS INTELLIGENT PERSON IS WALKING ON! OMG! AND WHAT ASTOUNDS ME EVEN MORE IS SOMEONE HAD TO LET GO OF THE CHAIN TO TAKE THIS PICTURE!

THIS IS TAKING UP TO THE MINUTE WAR COVEAGE A LITTLE FAR, DON'T YOU THINK?

 

CALLING HIS STOCK BROKER PERHAPS WITH INSTRUCTIONS TO SELL ALL FRESH VEGETABLE FUTURES, IN HIS PORTFOLIO?

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST A LITTLE TOO STRANGE EVEN FOR ARKANSAS STANDARDS....EWWWWWWWWW!

 

NEVER TRUST YOUR DRINKING BUDDIES TO HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE ALMOST AS DRUNK AS YOU ARE. YOU WAKE UP IN SOME MIGHTY STRANGE POSITONS,

                                                                 AND PLACES!

 

 LOTTERY WINNERS..... THEY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY HAD IT ALREADY, UNTIL THEY GOT THE PHONE CALL THAT THEIR NUMBERS HAD BEEN CHOSEN. SO THEIR ANSWER TO A BETTER LIFE, WAS TO GET RID OF THE '73 GREMLIN STATION WAGON, AND BUY A '97 FORD LINCOLN!  CHECK OUT THE EXTENTION THEY PUT ON THE CAR PORT!  WITH THE SATELITE TV DISH! LOL

NOW THIS IS TRUE INGENUITY, HILLBILLY STYLE!

 

TRUE DEDICATION TO YOUR JOB! "GET OUT OF MY WAY, I GOT TO GET THIS LOAD OF PINEAPPLES TO HAWAII!"

 

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE HANGING AROUND TO SEE THE FOOT THIS PRINT WAS MADE FROM!"

 

I LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THOUGHT...... LOOK TO SEE IF THERE IS A CAMERA HOUND ON THE LOOSE .......BEFORE PUTTING INTO ACTION WHAT YOU THINK IS  A REAL GOOD PLAN!    HEHE

 

lockerridge

DEC.1,2006 AND SO IT GOES..... THE SNOW THAT IS

YES INDEED THERE IS SNOW IN ARKANSAS! BUT LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SNOW IN ARKANSAS AFTER THE SUN COMES UP THE NEXT DAY! MELTED SNOW IN ARKANSAS! TOLD YOU, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WEATHER WAIT 15 MINUTES AND IT WILL CHANGE! THIS IS THE VIEW FROM MY BACK YARD DECK. THE SNOW IS GOING, GOING, GOING, YEP, JUST ABOUT GONE! YIPPEE! NOW MAYBE THE WORLD AROUND ME WILL GET BACK TO THE NORMAL INSANITY IT WAS BEFORE! THEY DIDN'T EVEN CANCEL SCHOOL HERE, AND HOMER WENT TO WORK LIKE NORMAL. NOW UP THE NORTH OF ME, AROUND THE COLLEGE, AND IN THE EAST IN OKLAHOMA, WELL IT IS A BIT DIFFERENT STORY. THEY ARE MELTING TOO, BUT LEAVING BEHIND BLACK ICE ON THE ROADS. KIND OF SCARY STILL YET, FOR THOSE IN THE REALLY HIGH MOUNTAINS, I LIVE IN THE RIVER VALLEY. I CAN SEE THE MOUNTAINS TO THE NORTH OF MY HOUSE, AND THE RIVER TO THE SOUTH. I GUESS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. LOL

 

MOUNTAINS TO THE NORTH OF MY FRONT DOOR

 

 

RIVER TO THE SOUTH OF MY BACK DOOR!

 

 

lockerridge

NOV. 30, 2006 SNOWING ONCE, SNOWING TWICE, YEP, IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!

THEY SAID IT WAS GOING TO SNOW..... AND FOR ONCE THEY WERE RIGHT!

 

 

 

 

 

IT IS SNOWING OUT MY BACK DOOR! OH MY!

 

 

AND IT IS SNOWING ON MY CAR, AND THE PAINTLESS, NON BACKFIRING NISSAN!

 

 

 

OMG! IT IS SNOWING ON MY DOG, OFF THE DECK IN MY BACK YARD! POOR PRISSY, "COME ON IN THE HOUSE BABY, I GOT A MILK BONE FOR YOU!"

 

 

 

 

AND THIS IS WHAT PRISSY AND LOCKIE ARE SITTING BESIDE, MIKE IS SNOOZING ON HIS DOGGIE BED. HOMER AND JR. ARE  OUT BEING IDIOTS, PLAYING IN THE SNOW IN THE TRUCK! NO, LOCKIE DID NOT GO. WHY, YOU MIGHT ASK...... CAUSE LOCKIE AIN'T NO FOOL, SHE HAS BEEN TO SCHOOL, AND WALKING IN THE WIND AND THE SNOW IS A ,NO GO!

 

lockerridge

NOV.29,2006 OMG! IT IS GOING TO SNOW!

                                                      

 

 

Yep! That is what they say! It is all over the TV.... winter storm warning!!!!!!

It is 70 degrees outside and the sun is shining. But they say, be warned it is going to be slick and dangerous on the overpasses, what they are experiencing in Canada is coming here to put us into a deep freeze.

It is 70 degrees outside and the sun is shining. The wind has begun to pick up a little bit though. And the clouds are hovering over my mountain to the north. Humm... perhaps it would behove me to gather in some fire wood, and perhaps go for that gallon of milk and loaf of bread, maybe some baloney, and perhaps an extra bottle or two of Pepsi. I wouldn't want to go into withdrawal or anything. In case of the monster STORM that is coming. Arkansas weather can do that to ya though.... um hummm there goes the third truck load of firewood up the road, I have seen this morning. And the wind has picked up a little bit. humm there goes that pesky limb off the pine tree. umm hummm perhaps a quick run to the store is in order, and maybe some chicken feed for the two chickens which never lay eggs, but are real hopeful it could happen at any time. They cluck a lot and promise me the moon, or rather the yolk. Bernice and Henrietta. Orphaned by my aunt and taken in my me. I am not really into the whole thing anymore.

I used to own a commercial poultry farm.. yep contracted out my two houses to Tyson Foods, and raised around 200,000 broiler chickens  a year. I was my own boss for about 17 years, and then one day boom, I quit it and went back to public work. That is why I have been unemployed for a year and  a half. hehe I need say no more, I am sure.

Anyway, I thought that I should write a blog as it is may be the last thing you ever hear from me. I am going to the store the day it is supposed to "Snow". It can be a very dangerous undertaking. The last gallon of milk is always a thing to be fought over. I have had to settle for "yuck" 1 % milk instead of 2% on a couple of occasions. It was either settle for the lesser of the two, or lose part of my hair to this really large lady whom, had this look about her that said," back off skinny minny, or I will make sure you know the meaning of "MINE". Stick out your arm, and draw back a nub! sheesh

I mean come on people, the most it ever snows is 2 inches ,and it melts within 2 days! Ice, now we have had some terrible ice storms, that knocked out our power for days, and if you are a poultry farmer, having no power is not something that can happen. I kept my generator. It is still in my possession and I, for one have televison, and a light to read by, when the rest of the world is dark. I have found that I have a lot of friends, when the power goes out in my neighborhood. They are like moths that gravitate to the light. They leave a lot of dust behind too. lol

Well, looks as though I need to cut this short, I see another load of wood going up the road, and the squirrels are running hither and yon, gathering up all the walnuts they can out of my backyard. I have three of them. They are really busy this morning ,and have not stopped to torture the dog or anything. Sure sign I need to get that wood in the dry, and that milk and cereal in the house.

I leave you with this thought.... Arkansas weather, if you don't like it , wait 15 minutes and it will change! And if I am attacked by the large consumers at  the grocery store and you see in the news where a small woman was lost in the run on the marshamallow isle in Arkansas, just say ah, well she did tell us it was possible, poor poor lockie, she gave her all for the family! I heard she went down fighting over the last package of Oreos. Not just any Oreos, double stuff Oreos. Yes she was truly a family woman, in the greatest sense of the word!

heheheheehee Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow! 

lockerridge

NOV.26, 2006 MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A SLIDESHOW

OKAY, THIS MAY WORK,  WITH MY CHARLIE BROWN SYNDROME......  NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED, EH?

SO I BRING TO YOU FROM THE SILENT MOVIE SOUNDSTAGE, "LOCKERRIDGE AND MOUNTAIN"...... LOCKIE'S LITTLE BITTY SLIDE SHOW.

 

 

http://s84.photobucket.com/albums/k31/lockerridge/?action=view&current=116457...

 

 

 

lockerridge

 

 

I don't know if it is giving you my descriptions or not, on mine it is not, let me know if you guys are seeing them. Thanks, it is not a total washout, but eh? I never expected a miracle! hehe

NOV.24,2006 BIG CHARLIE

                                                        

 

 

 

The young man in the above, terrible quality photo, is my son Jamie, at age 11.

He is holding a 4lb. 15.5 oz large mouth striped bass. BIG CHARLIE, as it affectionately became known to anyone who darkened my door for months.

I will start at the beginning, (you knew I would hehe) my son was as big a fishing fan as I am from the start. Although I have never gotten quite so fanatical about it as Jamie did for around 2 years. Every dime that lined that boy's pocket went for how to fish like the best information, and of course the latest in lures and (yuck a bunch) smell techniques of the pros.  He was constantly trying out new things. He got into serious trouble one time for taking dog food soaking it in some kind of super bound to catch the big un's stuff and putting it in a tray and sticking it in to the broiler section of my oven to dry. And promptly forgetting about it. I discovered it by turning on the oven to bake a cake and the house in a few minutes became something that I could not even go back into without a total and complete two day airing. OMG!

His answer to the properly screamed out " Why oh Why?' was, "It seemed like a great recipe Ma, but you know I get distracted at times, I get it from you."

What else would expect from son of Lockerridge eh? hehe Anyway back to the Charlie story. He signed up in his Bass Pro Jr. magazine, which he sat by the mailbox each month for two or three days waiting on it, for a big catch contest.

He could win a Bass Ranger Bass Boat and a 10,000 dollar scholarship. I thought to myself, what could it hurt. You know? I am a wuss when it comes to the kids, you guys know that. The rules were quite extensive and would not adhere to any kind of non compliance. I skimmed them over and signed my name. Fool!

Across the road from the house was pond owned by the neighbors which he had permission to fish in. It was loaded with all kinds of fish, and was large enough,that it had a boat dock and row boat for those who just had to row you know. It was down a hill toward the creek and we knicknamed the hill, No Hiney Hill. Cause by the time you crawled up it , you had no hiney left, or breath, or fluids left in your body. It was a BIG hill. Anyway when he turned 11 I allowed him to go fishing by himself for a while every afternoon. He could see these enormous bass swimming around in the pond, but they were so well fed they paid him no attention, plus the fact he made enough noise for 6 kids and was constantly changing baits and never leaving the lure in the water long enough to do more than get hung up or just wet.

But ho, this one afternoon, I was cooking supper and he came through the door, no let me rephrase that he fell through the door. Gasping and gesturing with his hands, in a sign language all his own. I gasped, and sat on the floor and put his head in my lap and was near hysteria. What was wrong with my baby, I started checking for broken bones, and blood. All the while he was sweating profusely, gasping for breath, and trying his best to knock me off him.

I finally quit the mother inspection, and relaxed enough to know no outward harm had come to him, he wasn't allergic to bee stings, and then it hit me, snake bite. I started pulling off his socks and shoes, his shorts, his tee shirt. He was revived enough to stop fighting me and just sit there, looking like I had let go of my senses. Which of course I had. I was already to grab the pocket knife and do a blood transfusion right there if I found fang marks! I love my son, ya know!

He grabbed my arms when I got to his underware and said in very firm, if not demanding voice, " Ma, knock it off, okay, I gotta tell you something and it is not about something in my underware." I chucked, I snickered, I laughed, I guffawed, I rolled over onto my back and lost consiousness for a moment. You got to love a kid who is so serious and so funny, and does not even know it. The whole time I was doing the insanity hysteria thing, he sat quietly until it passed. He knows his MA...... darn it, couldn't bluff him from age 3.

I sat up and he says to me, " I caught one of the big ones, it is in a puddle in the creek on a stringer. I need help getting it to the house. It is a big one Ma. Where is my Bass Pro Jr. Magazine with the entry rules in it?"  <----- fool

He located said magazine, we needed photos at the scene of the catch, of him holding the fish, with a date on said photo, no problem got the 35 mm right here with date back. Had to have the lure and the fish and he in a photo at the scene, had to have the time of catch, the type of fish, and then the killer part. We had to have it weighed at a government approved weigh scale and signed by a notary public.  I am such a wuss. I got on the phone and located a weigh scale at the local supermarket who would let us use it to weigh the fish, if we told no one, of course this would not do, had to be legal scale, but the market did not want to risk USDA violations for bringing wild game into their butcher dept.  Back to the phone book, finally got a bait shop with a scale to say, yeah bring it on down. 20 miles away. I then had to find a notary public who would not charge me my house payment to do this for me. I remembered an old school teacher of mine,  was a notary and he loved me in school. I hoped he did anyway. I contacted him, and being retired from the school system, and totally bored out of his mind, he actually volunteered to drive us there.  YIPPEE!

Now to get said treasure up No Hiney...... OMG!  2 hours later and a lot less enthusiastic, we contacted the teacher and away we went, Big Charlie in a bucket of ice water and looking  a little worse for the trip up the hill. He was defintely a 5 lb fish, we had weighed him on the bathroom scales at home. Oh yeah he was a contender!

We arrived at the bait shop and by this time Charles was no more. He had gone to the big pond in the sky. We toted him inside the bait shop, and inbetween the time of the original call and the arrival, they had changed shifts.  After 15 minutes of explainations, the teacher laughing at us so hard he was incapable of stamping the official weigh in I was sure, they put it on the scale and it weighted 4 lbs. 15.5 oz.

I tried to stick an ice cube in its mouth, but Jamie said," Aw Ma, there are more fish in the pond!"  I whacked him in the shoulder. He winced and then really looked at me. I was not a pretty sight, and did not have a pretty look in my eyes either, he hushed. Did I not mention he was pretty smart too?

We left the bait shop and on the way home decided that Charlie deserved to be mounted and preserved for all the world to see. I called the next day. OMG! 150 dollars was the least amount it could be done for. So hence the Big Charlie fund was born. A coffee can(3lb size) was spray painted and the words Stuff Charlie fund were written on the side and everyone who came to visit was required to place all pocket change into said bucket. Every day the couch was checked for loose change. He saw a penny on the street, the fund grew. I had taken the fish and laid it out flat on a board and wrapped it so many layers of newspaper and trash bags it looked like  a gaint black hot dog and put it into the deep freezer at Grandma's house. Finally after a year of wrestling the thing every time she needed to get something from the freezer, grandma and grandpa, matched his funds and we had it mounted.

We still sent the pic into Bass Pro Jr., but never heard anything back, and they kept our photo.

conclusion to this being the word of wisdom for parents who have kids who fish.

Do not buy Bass Pro Jr. Magazine...... it is evil. hehe

lockerridge

 

NOV.22, 2006 CELEBRATION OF THANKSGIVING, MY PRAYER OF THANKS.

MY FRIEND SIMPLY BORING SENT THIS TO ME. I THOUGHT MAYBE IT MIGHT BRING SOME BRIGHTNESS TO A DARK CORNER OF YOUR LIFE. IT DID MINE.

 

 

                                                                                                

 THIRTEEN THINGS YOU MIGHT HAVE NOT KNOWN THIS MORNING, WHEN YOU WOKE UP, ABOUT YOU, AND YOUR LIFE.

 

 

13 Things About You 1. Someone in this world Loves you , in some way. 2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they      don't like you. 3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to    sleep. 4. You mean the world to someone. 5. Without you , someone may not be living. 6. You are special and unique , in your own way. 7. Someone that you don't know even exists , loves you. 8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes    from it. 9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a    look, you most likely turned your back on the world. 10. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want,    you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself,    you probably sooner or later will get it. 11.Always remember complements you received, forget about the    rude remarks. 12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel    much better when they know. 13 If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know    that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as    many people as you care about,  you'll brighten up someone's    day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!

                         MY THANKSGIVING PRAYER FOR 2006    

 

I GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR ALL THAT HE HAS GIVEN ME. ESPECIALLY  FOR THE TIME HE GAVE ME WITH THOSE WHOM HE HAS TAKEN BACK WITHIN HIS PRESENCE. MOST OF ALL I THANK HIM FOR THE GIFT OF WONDERFUL PARENTS, AND GRANDPARENTS. I WAS TRULY LOVED AND CARED FOR WITH THE UTMOST GENTLENESS. FOR THE WONDER OF THE GIFT OF A CHILD TO GIVE TO THE FUTURE, AND FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE AND WITH ME TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY DAY. 

THIS THANKSGIVING, I ALSO CAN GIVE THANKS FOR THE ABILITY TO TOUCH THE LIVES OF PEOPLE WHOM, I WILL NEVER PROBABLY MEET IN PERSON, BUT THROUGH THE USE OF THE OF COMMUNICATION AND DIGITAL TECHNOLOGY, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THEIR CARING, AND LOVING NATURES. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO MUCH, NOR CRIED SO MUCH IN THIS SHORT SPAN OF TIME CALLED MY LIFE. THEY ARE TRUELY THE GIFT OF THE WORLD TO THIS ONE LONE HUMAN STANDING IN THE HUGENESS OF PLANET EARTH. FOR ALL THIS ABUNDANCE OF LIFE, GIVEN TO ME, AND USED BY ME. I THANK MY LORD AND CREATOR, GOD. I ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVE HELPED AND BEEN USED BY HIM TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE BETTER AS THEY HAVE MADE MINE.

IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD, AND MY SAVIOR. 

AMEN

 

lockerridge                                                                         

 

 

 

 

 

Puja Srivastava