FEBRUARY 4, 2007 FOR ALL THOSE WHOM I LOVE DEARLY A HILLBILLY BLESSING

TO THOSE WHO LOVE ME

AND I LOVE THEM BACK!

IF I FORGOT YOU, LET ME KNOW AND I WILL FIX IT QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY," FIX IT LOCKIE!"

MY FRIEND PD

WHO DOES A BRILLIANT

BALANCING ACT EVERYDAY...

MY FRIEND DANI

WITHOUT THE MUSTACHE AND LONGER HAIR

THE REST IS ACCURATE, HEHE

MY FRIEND COSMOS CLARA

WHOM I ADORE

MY FRIEND JAE ELLE

AND HER DOG DUSTY!

I LOVE IT!

MY FRIEND VINNIE

THE MISCHEVIOUS ONE

MY FRIEND IAMIGLOO OR

USUALLY STINKY FOR SHORT..UMMHUMM

MY SWEET FRIEND SAKURA

WHO HAS THE CAFFEINE INDUCED ABILITY TO TYPE WITH HER TOES... TRUE TALENT!

MY FRIENDS

DIO AND FLAGON

IT IS OKAY THAT YOU BURNED UP MY CAKE FLAGON...

(LOCKERRIDGE TIP FOR NON STRESSFUL LIVING NO. 1.... IT IS ALWAYS OKAY IF SOMETHING THAT BIG DOES ANYTHING , ESPECIALLY IF IT HAS A TERMINAL CASE OF BAD BREATH THAT A TIC TAC THE SIZE OF A SMALL CITY, WILL NEVER CURE!)

HEY, NO GRASS GROWING ON THIS HEAD...

MY FRIEND STILL HAPPY 89

THE SWEETEST AND HAPPIEST MAN I KNOW

FOR MY FRIEND ERIC C

FROM DOWN UNDER

A QUIET, INTELLIGENT, SWEET MAN!

THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH FOR MAKING MY BIRTHDAY SO SPECIAL... YOU HAVE NEVER MET ME IN PERSON, YET YOU CARE SO MUCH FOR ME..

IT IS KIND OF ASTONISHING TO ME, THAT YOU ALL REMEMBERED AND BROUGHT TO ME SUCH A GIFT OF YOUR TIME AND THOUGHT, THAT I AM FOR THE FIRST TIME, SPEECHLESS, KIND OF LIKE WHEN HOMER ATE THE ALKA SELTZER AND I THOUGHT HE HAD RABIES! HEHE

THERE IS NO WAY I COULD EVER SHOW YOU HOW YOU HAVE WARMED MY DAY INTO A WONDERFUL GLOW... IT IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY I CAN REMEMBER EVER HAVING.. AND ALL BECAUSE OF YOU ALL... HOMER TOOK ME OUT FOR A NICE STEAK DINNER, ( WAS EXCELLENT, AND THE PART OF ME NOT HAVING TO COOK IT WAS THE BEST PART!) MY SON WHIZZED BY AND DROPPED OFF A NEW KEITH URBAN CD FOR ME WITH A HUG AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA, THEN HE WAS OFF TO A SUPERBOWL PARTY, HOMER JR. IS STILL NOT HOME, HEHE, AND THEN YOU GUYS WITH ALL YOUR LOVE, AND ATTENTION HAVE MADE THIS BIRTHDAY JUST SO FANTASTIC... THANKYOU FROM THE VERY CENTER OF MY LOVE ..

NOW FOR YOUR BLESSING I PROMISED... HEHEHE

I AM NOT EVIL I TELL YOU, ( SAY IT WITH ME NOW) I JUST SOUND THAT WAY! HEHEHEHEHEEE

MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INFEST THE CROTCH OF THE PERSON WHO WOULD DARE TO MESS UP YOUR DAY!

MAY THEIR TOENAILS BECOME ENCRUSTED WITH FUNGUS AND BECOME YELLOW AND STINKY

(JUST LIKE IGLOOS! EEEWWWW!)

LET IT BE BROUGHT UPON THEM THAT THEIR NASAL HAIR SHALL START TO GROW AS WELL AS THEIR EAR HAIR...

MAY THE HAIR UPON THEIR HEADS START TO SHRIVEL AND FALL UPON THE FLOOR..

AND MAY THEIR ARMS BE TO SHORT TO SCRATCH, THIER SCISSORS TOO DULL TO TRIM, AND THIER HATS TOO BIG TO WEAR !

AMEN!

THIS BLESSING IS ASKED FOR YOU BY LOCKERRIDGE, PARTNER IN HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC.

ALL HEXS AND WISHED FOR BAD THINGS WILL BE PROVIDED BY GRANNY JUNE ELLEN

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS AGAIN FOR THE WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY YOU HAVE MADE FOR THIS LOCKERRIDGE!

I'M NOT REALLY EVIL, I JUST SOUND THAT WAY!

HEHE!

lockerridge

FEBRUARY 2, 2007 THERE IS A LOT OF EVIDENCE OF GLOBAL WARMING AT MY HOUSE... NOT!

I AM IN THE VERY MIDDLE OF THE GLOBAL WARMING CRISIS! HEHE

I HAVE NOT SEEN A WINTER LIKE WE ARE HAVING IN A LOT OF YEARS!

IF THIS IS A PRODUCT OF GLOBAL WARMING, WELL I HOPE WE DON'T HAVE A GLOBAL FREEZING.. .. I WILL BE ABLE TO GROW ORANGES IN MY BACKYARD!

MY PC IS RUNNING SO SLOW TONIGHT .. .. 26.4kps IS MORE LIKE 12.2kps... So this is going to be short,( shut up ighouseshoe, I can so not be long winded! Maybe,.. sometimes,.. when I don't have anything to say,.. which is never,.. Okay! So I have a tendancy to ramble.. .. argh! I am doing it again! It is all the houseshoes fault! You all saw it!) hehehehee (didn't think I was going to take the blame did you?)

THE GOPHERS ARE BACK! WITH A VENGANCE.... THIS WAS TAKEN UNDERNEATH MY MOBILE HOME...WE FOUND THIS YESTERDAY, WHEN WE PULLED THE PUSH LAWN MOWER OUT, GETTING TO THE WATER PIPES, TO WRAP THEM IN HEAT TAPE. THEY ARE TRYING TO RUN ME OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD I THINK.. .. LOOK WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO THE SUPPORTS THAT MY

MOBLIE HOME SITS ON!

THIS IS WAR!

FORT GOPHER HAS GOT TO GO DOWN!

THEY ARE IN TROUBLE NOW!

HOMER WANTS TO BRING IN THE BIG TONKA TOYS!

AND LOCKIE SAID SIC 'EM HOMER....

lockerridge

JANUARY 29, 2007 WHY MEN SHOULD NOT BABYSIT!

I ran across these photos the other day, and thought maybe everyone should be made aware of the fact that men are not real great baby sitters.... sometimes they don't really have a good grasp on the concept of good child wellness care.... or they just take the easy way out... only the men know for sure, and they aren't telling...

I will let the photos speak for themselves, so just scroll on down to the photo facts of the claim...

MEN SHOULD NOT BABYSIT

MAYBE YOU SHOULD FEED THE BABY BEFORE IT GETS THIS HUNGRY..JUST A THOUGHT..

THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO TAKE THE BABY TO VISIT GRANDMA....

THIS IS NOT A BABY... JUST A HINT...

CHILDREN DO NO RIDE WELL ON THE "OUTSIDE" OF THE AIRPLANE... IT MESSES UP THEIR HAIR...

THEY LET HIM PLAY THE DRUMS WHEN HE STARTED BEATING THEM AT POKER...

DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE AN ELECTRIC RAZOR WOULD BE SAFER...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

THE KIDS ARE ALWAYS LOSING THINGS... IMPORTANT THINGS!

WELL A PARENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE ARTISTIC URGES, BUTTTTTT...

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A SIPPY CUP... JUST ANOTHER THOUGHT!

IT MIGHT BE MORE EFFICIENT, BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO WASH A RUBBER DUCKY..... NOPE SURE ISN'T!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST..... DON'T LET 'EM TAKE THE BOYS TO BALLGAME WITHOUT YOU MOM... THIS CAN LEAD TO SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE A PHONE CALL WHERE THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE SAYS," HEY, MOM PUT DAD ON THE PHONE, I NEED SOMEBODY TO BAIL ME OUT OF JAIL, I ASSAULTED ONE OF THE OTHER TEAMS FANS.... IT WAS GLORIOUS MOM!"

lockerridge