MAY 21, 2007 PROOF THAT THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD IS NUTSO!!! RATED PG!

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MAY 17, 2007 THE MIDDLE WIFE...

The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know, is the one I saw in myown second-grade classroom, a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.

Kids bring in pet

turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them . If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.

"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh, wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids, are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying OH!! and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!'

Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.

"She walked around the house for, like an hour

'Oh, oh, oh!'

Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man.

They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."

Then Erica lay down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water, she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"

This kid has her legs spread, with her little hands miming water flowing away.

It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along. Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!

lockerridge

TAKE A WALK ON THE WILDSIDE WITH LOCKERRIDGE

HEHEHEEHEEE! GOTCHA!

TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT WHAT IS MEAN'T BY "TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE WITH LOCKERRIDGE!"

NOPE, LOCKIE HASN'T GONE KINKY ON YA'LL!

JUST WENT U-TUBE NUTS I GUESS... HEHEHE ... SO THAT MEANS LOCKIE IS STILL NORMAL IF SHE IS ACTING NUTS! HAHHA! YOU KNOW ME SOOOO WELLL!

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NOW YOU GUYS KNOW I AM NOT REALLY EVIL... I JUST SOUND THAT WAY!

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ANYWAY I FOUND THESE TWO VIDEOS, FILMED BY CRAZY PEOPLE, WHO BESIDE THE POINT THAT THEY ARE CERTAINLY IDIOTS, DID AN INCREDIBLE JOB OF FILMING AN AWESOME VIEW OF, THE SOMETIMES, KILLING FORCE OF MOTHER NATURE... AND DIDN'T WET THEMSELVES!

I DON'T THINK THEY DID ANYWAY! HEHE

BEING THE LOVING AND CARING FRIEND YOU ALL ARE FAMILAR WITH.( AND HUMBLE)I FELT I SHOULD SHARE IT!

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THESE TORNADOS ARE ON THE GROUND, DESTROYING HOUSES, TREES, AND IDIOT PEOPLE, WHO ARE VIDEOING TORNADO'S, IF THEY HAPPEN TO GET TO CLOSE.

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SO TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE OF MOTHER NATURE WITH ME.. IT IS VERY

ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL.

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~@>@ ~~~~~~~~@>@~~~~~~~~@>@~

THE SECOND VIDEO IS RATED R

.... RATED R FOR LANGUAGE...

~

THE GUYS SAY THE F WORD A COUPLE TIMES .. IGNORE IT .. THE VIDEO IS MIND GRABBING!

HEY YA'LL WATCH ISS!!!!

clipped from www.youtube.com

TornadoVideos.net storm chasers Reed Timmer and Joel Taylor shot this INSANE video of a violent tornado from within 50 yards!!! We had to back up at the last second, and my cell phone fell out on the road and was taken away by the tornado!!

QUOTABLE QUOTE

" I DON'T GO TO THE STORM CELLAR WHEN THEY START WARNING ABOUT TONADOES AND THE LIKE.. THOSE GUYS ARE JUST TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO WATCH THEIR CHANNEL.. HEY! WHERE IS EVERYONE AND WHAT IS THAT ROARING SOUND?"

SOURCE... A LOCAL STORM SHELTER DEALER.

lockerridge

MAY 12, 2007 A LITTLE BIT EARLY, HEY US MOM'S ARE WORTH IT! SLIDE SHOW..

I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO "DO" MOTHER'S DAY ANYMORE.. THIS IS MY SECOND ONE WITHOUT A MOTHER HERE IN THE FLESH.....

SO I AM WINGING IT THIS YEAR... MY SON HAS TO WORK A DOUBLE SHIFT THIS SUNDAY, SO I WILL BE HEADED TO MOMRIE'S TO EAT DINNER WITH HER, AND THEN WE HEAD TO HOMER JR.'S BACCULAUREATE SERVICE..

WOW! HE GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL NEXT THURSDAY, AND KYLE GRADUATES KINDERGARTEN NEXT FRIDAY..

WHERE DID THE DAYS AND MINUTES GO?

SO THIS SLIDE SHOW IS ALL I COULD COME UP WITH ...

I KNOW THAT YOU WILL ENJOY,

LOOKING AT THE WILD FLOWERS, AND THE NOT SO WILD FLOWERS I PUT IN IT ... MY MOMMA EITHER PLANTED, OR DISCOVERED AND NURTURED.

SHE TAUGHT ME WHAT THEY WERE.. AND IN TURN I HAVE TAUGHT JAMIE, THE SAME KNOWLEDGE, HANDED DOWN ONCE AGAIN..

THIS SLIDE SHOW IS NOT EVEN HALF OF WHAT IS BLOOMING, BUT RAIN, AND MY HORSE AND DOG WHO ARE AFRAID OF THUNDER WERE NOT GOING TO LET ME TAKE A PHOTO OF ANYTHING BUT A LARGE HORSES HEAD OR BUTT!

IF I MANGAGED TO GET AWAY FROM ARTIE.. THEN PRISSIE WAS ALL OVER ME LIKE A WET BLANKET AND SMELLED A LOT WORSE.. HEHEHE

WE WOMEN OF THIS WORLD, WE WHO BEAR THE RESPONSIBLITY, OF THE FUTURE TO THE HUMAN RACE..

TO YOU I RAISE MY HAND TO GOD IN THANKS,

I GIVE HIM ALL THE PRAISE, AND THANK HIM, FOR MY CUP, THAT RUNNETH OVER WITH LOVE AND PEACE, AND COMFORT,

I HAVE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT MY CHILD IS SAFE AND WELL FED, CLOTHED AND SPOILED ROTTEN!

FOR THIS WONDERFUL THING

I AM A BLESSED TO BE A WOMAN....

AND A MOTHER...

ON THIS MOTHERS DAY IN 2007...

MY SLIDE SHOW WAS HOSTED BY SLIDE.COM

MY MUSIC IS HOSTED BY FILE DEN.COM AND PODBEAN.COM

MY GRAPHIC WAS CURTESY OF
www.hostdrjack.com

lockerridge

MAY 9, 2007 IT'S A FLIBBLE BIRTHDAY PARTY! WOOOHOOO!

IT'S A FLIBBLE BIRTHDAY!

WE ALL SAY!

YIPPY! SKIPPY! YEA!

DIRECTLY, TO YOU, FLIBBLE, FROM THEIR HOLE IN A TREE CLUB AND RESTAURANT.....

SINGING THEIR HIT SONG

LOVE SHACK ...

ARE.....

THE ROLLING SQUIRRELTONES!

HIT IT SQUIRRELY!

SHAKE THOSE TAIL FEATHERS FLIBBLE!

lockerridge