JULY 21, 2007 WHEN KYLE SPENDS THE NIGHT... A HOMER AND ME STORY..

WHEN KYLE SPENDS THE NIGHT...

Have you ever taken a 6 yr old, spoiled till he is just to point of being blinky.. not really as bad as soured milk.. but so close you need to hold your nose a lot of the time..into your home for a 3 day period before?

I have had the good fortune of the last 2 Saturday nights in a row, to have the pleasure of such a young man in my home for the night and most of the preceding Friday and almost all of Sunday.. his mother knows a sucker when she sees one I suppose.. sigh..

He special orders his meals in advance.. in other words he called me on Tuesday, and gave me his grocery list, and menu for me to have ready for him.. on Friday... when I came and picked him up at 8 a.m. ... this was the best time for him.. since his cartoons would be over then and mom would have his breakfast fixed and he would be ready and rarring to go..

( does the term " little monster" come to mind)

On Friday morning .. the first phone call arrived at my bedside at 6:30 a.m... the second at 6:45 a. m.....

I told him to stop calling me or I was not coming to get him..

he said okay he wouldn't call anymore until he was really all ready to go..

This means in 6 year old time frame... that my phone rang again at 7:05 a.m. and he was really all ready to go..

I asked to speak to insane sister of Homer..mother of child monster .. she was asleep....

So I crawled out of bed.. and put on shoes.. didn't take off the pajama top ... but did put on a pair of shorts .. I think.. hummm..

and got my keys.. who needs to brush your hair and or comb your teeth .. when all you are needed for is babysitting service.. chauffeur service.. cooking.. cleaning... bath water running... and .. taking him to the Dollar General for that all important "New Toy" that Uncle H had promised..

So I pack his little suitcase.. his bike.. his enormous sack of action figures.. ( he is an only child ... which his Uncle H.. is continuously giving him a hard time about playing with dolls.

Which means that if I have not put up all the lamps.. put plugs into the wallsockets to prevent accidental sword stabbings.. it would probably be a REAL good time to do so..)

into my little truck.. and I suppose this child's mother is still asleep, because he met me at the end of his driveway.. with all of the things he needed, he insisted, to survive being away from home ( 10 miles away) for a period of the promised 24 hours..( HA!) I pounded on the back door and got this sound of," go away.. I am having a special moment alone here.. do you have any D size batteries?" ..........!

NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY SIZE D BATTERIES!!!

Which actually got her to stick her head out of the door, after she realized what she had sounded like, and raced to catch me to explain that they were for here CD player.. she was going to listen to some AC DC and give herself a pedicure..

I tried to act indignant, but the woman has been subjected to 6 years of Barney and the TeleTubbies .. and OMG!... Bert and Ernie... I can understand the need for a transfusion of AC DC and the fumes off the nail polish.. just a small token of life's preparenthood pleasures... yep..

So off we went .. Kyle and I.. to my house.. and we ate and we drank..

He watched his soap operas .. heehee... and I took a shower... ( this was done quickly after Kyle .. finishing up his microwave pancakes.. hey betty crocker I ain't okay... looked at me intently and said.. " Do you always have those really black circles under your eyes like my raccoon Stinky?")

We are going to the Dollar General Store.. whoo hoo.. I actually like shopping for toys.. and he has this way of getting me to offer to buy him stuff.. like this.. " Wow Aunt T.. look at this cool.. whatshamacallit.. and of course I look and then asks me .. "what does this do?"

Of course it is something like a alien sound translator.. you can speak the alien language on 5 different planets with it.. of course it has to go home with us.. I mean you never know when you are going to need to translate a conversation with an alien from planet Tough Bubble where they make those bubbles that are so tough they don't break .. ever.. got some of those too..

and the ultimate.. his have to have it or I will just die. .. toy.

A fishing rod and reel tackle box.. combo with the mighty ninja turtles pics on it.. and the advertising promise that with this little jewel he will outfish everyone.. 12.95.. with tax as he points out..

It is a "gotta have it" and in the cart it goes... I am loved.... I am a goddess.. I am his hero.. He is always going to love me best...

I know to bask in the glow of his affection... cause as soon as his Uncle H walks in he door.. I go back to being Raccoon Woman with a frying pan..

Seeing as how I swim like a large heavy rock.. I told him we could practice casting his new rod and reel tackle box ninja turtle combo.. 12.95 plus tax from the Dollar General Store.. in the back yard until his Uncle H. gets home from work.. ( he picks today to work overtime.. his boss has some sort of sixth sense about these things.. never fails..)

overtime?

So I try my hand at teaching him how to cast it out.. it always amazes me how if you only have 100 ft. of line on a reel and you are 150 ft. away from a tree ... how does it get in the tree? Scientist are working on stuff like rocket ships to the moon and we have these important burning questions to be answered here on earth.. do they care... NO!

After we have lost all of his hooks and the ninja turtle logo has fell off the tackle box and had to be superglued back on.. I looked at my watch..

10:30a.m..

One of the advantages of your partner working in construction for a man who is the father of 4 ... grown now... is that you can take them lunch and eat it right there on the trac hoe.. or bulldozer or what ever huge tonka toy he is running today .... and he will join you if you bring him a sandwich too.. hehehee

Needless to say.. I decided I needed to go to the grocery store and Kyle just had to stay and help his Uncle H.. to which I got the Homer look.. you know the one which lets me know I am going to pay.. and pay big time..

NO PROBLEM... DID YOU GET YOUR PAYCHECK YET?

HEHEHEHEE

GRAPHICS IN THIS BLOG PROVIDED BY
glitter-graphics.com

lockerridge

JULY 18, 2007 THE ODD ART OF JULIAN BEEVERS

THE SLIDE SHOW IS A GALLERY OF ART WORKS DRAWN BY ARTIST JULIAN BEEVERS..

HIS WORK ON SIDEWALKS WITH CHALK IF FAMOUS WORLD WIDE. HE HAS DRAWN THESE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING TREASURES ON SIDEWALKS AROUND THE WORLD.

I FOR ONE AM A BIG FAN, AND BY MAKING THESE PHOTO SLIDESHOWS AND WEB LOGS ABOUT HIS ART, EVEN IF IT DOES GET WASHED AWAY, IT WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED AND TREASURED FOR THE GREAT WORK IT IS..

TROMP D'OLEIL PAINTING, IS A TECHNIQUE OF GIVING THE BRAIN A 3D IMAGE, OF WHAT THE EYES SEE AT A CERTAIN ANGLE, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONLY ONE DIMENSIONAL IN REALITY.

IN OTHER WORDS IT CREATES AN ILLUSION. OUR EYES SEE IT, OUR BRAIN COMPUTES THE IMAGE FROM THE EYE, AND EVEN THOUGH THE BRAIN KNOWS THIS CANNOT BE TRUE, IT ACCEPTS IT AS REALITY

WHATEVER THE REASON FOR SEEING THIS THE WAY WE SEE IT, DOES NOT DETRACT FROM THE FACT THAT THIS , JULIAN BEEVERS, IS A VERY TALENTED, AND INVENTIVE ARTIST.

I HAVE ENJOYED THIS FOR DAYS, BEFORE I SHARED IT WITH YOU ALL. I AM NICE AREN'T I, TO LET YOU LOOK AT MY PRETTY PICTURES!

REMEMBER THAT, WHEN YOU ARE MAKING OUT YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT LISTS. HEHEEHEE

lockerridge

JULY 16, 2007 A LETTER FROM CAMP

WHAT LOOKS ONE WAY FROM THE SURFACE MIGHT BE SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT AFTER THE SURFACE GETS SCRATCHED....

FIND A WAY TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN THE TRUTH ABOUT PEOPLE.. WITHOUT MAKING THEM PARANOID PEOPLE.. IT CAN BE DONE...

I TALKED TO MY SON.. AND HE KNEW AT THE AGE OF 5, WITHOUT FEAR OF STRANGERS.... WHAT HE SHOULD ALLOW AND WHAT HE SHOULD NOT.. AND TO TELL ME EVERYTIME.. HE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND ANYONE.. AND I MEAN ANYONE, NO MATTER WHO THEY WERE..

MY AUNT SENT THIS IN AN EMAIL TO ME.. AND WITH ALL THE NEWS STORIES ABOUT THE PAY OUT FROM THE CATHOLIC CHURCH .... AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT WHOLE TRAGEDY.. I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT BE APPROPRIATE FOR THE TIMES...

REMEMBER AS YOU READ THIS, I HAVE SPUN IT WITH A SLANT TOWARD HUMOR..

BECAUSE IF I THINK ABOUT THESE SORT OF THINGS

SERIOUSLY, VERY LONG.. I GET MAJORLY PISSED OFF..

THE THE LOCKERRIDGE MAXIMUM OF PISSEDOFFEDNESS..

SO JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN GO SOMEWHERE WITH PEOPLE ... EVEN PEOPLE YOU ARE RELATED TO.. MAKE SURE, BEFORE THEY TAKE OFF WITH YOUR CHILD.... YOU TALK FRANKLY AND OPENLY WITH YOUR CHILD....

ABOUT PEOPLE AND THEIR DEMONS....

Dear Mom & Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all
up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast.

I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps.
It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without
telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so
he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's
hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with
45 people in a bus made for 24.

He let us take turns riding in the trailer
until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In
fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids.
Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim,

and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out.

It was great.
You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets getting burned up. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.
He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was
doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
Love, Tommy

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lockerridge