AUG 20, 2007 ROAD RATTLER RAGE! .... A HOMER AND ME STORY..

ROAD RATTLER RAGE!

A HOMER AND ME STORY

Hello once again from the backwoods of Arkansas... this story is about yet another fishing trip myself and my beloved Homer went on, one Sunday a few weeks back, this summer of 2007.

Above is a photo of our favorite spot to fish.. the hay meadow at Homer's Mom and Dad's place... You can't really tell how big this pond is from this photo.. but it is HUGE!

There is a spring in the bottom of the pond which runs all year round.. even in the hottest driest months of the year.. like right now, August, the month of tired trees and grass... looking for that long winters rest...

Anyway.. it sits back off the main dirt road pretty far.. well far enough no one knows it is there except family.. and a few aquaintances whom sneak and peek a lot!

And it is the most fun place to fish I have ever wet a hook in! You see once a year the Game and Fish Commission holds a fishing derby for the kids in the Shores Lake State Park .. which is only about 5 miles from this pond.

And every year we go fishing at the lake after the kids derby is over with..

Why you may ask? WElllll because they stock the lake at the same time they have the derby, with blue catfish , anywhere from 1 lb. in size to 6lb. in size.. and no way do the kids catch them all.. hehehe.. but the adults sure do try after the thing is over for the kids..

All of them that we catch we save and put in this pond.. hehehe.. and since these catfish are used to being fed from the bank by people.. we buy catfish food and feed them.. !!!

We now have some in here that weigh a good 10 lbs! Talk about a fight.. Talk about fun! ... Talk about... if you tell anybody where my pond is I will cheerfully wring your neck!!!

We catch them.. admire them.. take pictures of ourselves with them.. and then put them back.. ... God I love it!

There is also Striped bass and perch, and well just anything we can catch somewhere else, if it is a game fish.. we bring it home and put it in here.. the fish we rescued from the pond where the trachoe was used for the rescue attempt.. we put them in here...

And this is the result! Ain't Homer cute? !!!

This particular Sunday though they just were not biting... sigh... so we decided to go to another lake up the road from this pond.... This older gentleman had a box canyon on his property and so he decided it would be a wonderful lake.. He spent lots of money building a dam and a spillway ... and the result was a spectacular lake.. which he named for his daughter.. Felicity... hence Felicity Lake.. it is stocked with crappie, bass, catfish, all kinds of fish and frogs and ahem.. snakes and turtles..

This part of the United States has some really nasty critters called copper heads .. water moccasins.. and Timber Rattlesnakes.. ( timber rattlers)

People sometimes find these nasty things in their yards... their ponds and in the woods out back of their houses, or in the rocks off all those ledges and bluffs..

Timber Rattlers are the most venomous and the least likley to bite you .. the other two.. they are just mean and like to bite.. majorly ugly too! eeeewww!

But the timber rattler is stalked for its rattles and its skin.. some people are really and truly insane ... I have seen Homer's Dad take a switch to a rattle snake .. and KILL it! Scared the bejebbers out of me.. I was on the top of the cab of the truck screaming at Homer to do something about his Dad being so insane.. and Homer being the only sane member of his family .. was inside the truck waiting patiently .. with his finger held over the send button of the phone he had already dialed 911 on.. sigh.. I really think that a person who has that kind of hutspa.. should try to get Guinness to enter those cahones in the world biggest book. They got to be record size!!!

Recently. I read an article where a man chopped off a rattlers head. and it still bit him!! I mean.. that is just instinct of the basic kind.. to exact revenge after it was dead!!! ???? WHOA!

Well , enough snake knowledge, back to the rattler road rage .. sometimes a rattler will crawl onto the road, especially after it has rained in the summer time and it got wet ( they are cold blooded and can't stand to be wet) because the road bed is still warm.. steamy infact. And coil up until they get warm again.. so they move slowly too.

People will spot them when driving down the road, back up and spin their tires on the snake.. killing it .. they jump out of their cars with their pocket knives and cut the rattler off of it.. and then jump back in and haul butt!

Because it is against the law! Rattle snakes are protected in the National Forest as are all things.. if you take anything out of there and they catch you.. get ready to pay through the .. ahem.. lower part of your anatomy! If something is a potential risk to my health and well being.. be it a bear or a snake.. and I have a gun or a vehicle.. who do you think is going to survive this little scenario..

Personally, in my opinion the only good snake is a dead one and so this in fact does not bother me in the least.. as a matter of fact .. I have done the slam on brakes , throw in reverse, spin tires on snake till it dies... routine several times myself!... I don't cut off anything from the evil critter.. it can go back to God the same way He created it.. I have no need for souvenirs...

Well, as we were on our way to this other lake, there happened to be one lying in the road.. So Homer did the slam, reverse thing .. but it was already dead and the rattlers were gone..

He was disappointed but, he has like, 100 of the things already! ... Men.. hehehe

When we got to the lake we caught a quite a few small bass. So, staying true to our usual routine, we took them back up to the Hayfield pond.. As we were letting them go .. we heard this car.. .. Brake Slam, Reverse, Door Slamming, Lots of yelling.......

Silence... Doors Slamming ... Take Off with lots of gravel flying...

Homer and I looked at each other, and at the same time said "SNAKE!"

heheheee...

So, being bored .. we decided to sit for a while and just listen..

heheheeee!

After we heard 2 more do the same thing.. we got really, really, evil!

He had some cardboard in the back of the truck, they used to lay on when working on, what ever broke down in the construction site, and a can of neon green spray paint..

We made 2 signs.. which read...

CAUTION... SLOW...

AND

SNAKE

We put Caution .. Slow.. out by the drive to the hayfield pond and then the other one down by the snake....

OMG! It was hilarious.. we only stayed to see what the next 5 cars did because... well to get the 5 cars through this dirt road, took around 45 minutes .. it is not traveled all that much..

Three of the cars... stopped at the first sign.. and then creeped and creeped and creeped along... all three of them missed seeing the snake even with the sign right above it.. they would stop and reverse and go forward.. and then go reverse.. finally someone brave, or fed up in the car would get out and start walking up the road .. and then when they finally did see it ..

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheeeeee!

Screams! ... Holy Mother! .. Shit! ... Here it is!! .. Hey come look at this! .. Car doors slamming! .. People running! .. Oh, Man the Rattles are Gone! ..

Then the other 2, when they read the first sign .... actually turned around and went back the other way!!!

Hey... it was a way to pass the time in the slow moving days of the

Arkansas Backwoods ... when the fish don't bite, dontcha know what I am talking about.. fellow hillbilly.. redneck.. type people out there!

yeeehhhaaawww baby!

lockerridge

AUGUST 6, 2007 THE NEW AND NONIMPROVED CONSTRUCTIVE TYPE FISHING

HOMER AND JAMIE FISHING TALE

OMG!!!!

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IN THE PICTURE ABOVE IS MY HOMER IN THE LITTLE TRACK HOE THAT HIS COMPANY USES ... THE BIG ONE HAS TRACKS OVER MY HEAD.. WHICH EVEN THOUGH THAT IS NOT MUCH AT MY HEIGHT OF 5'1" IT IS STILL ENOUGH FOR ME NOT TO EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH POWER THOSE THINGS HAVE... BUT WHAT I DID NOT KNOW IS THAT THEY MAKE AN EXCELLENT FISHING TOOL! OR SO I WAS TOLD! HEHEHEE

YOU SEE IT IS LIKE THIS... MY SON IS ABOUT AS SANE AS A DOODLE BUG, WHEN IT COMES TO FISHING, OR TRAPPING... HE IS NOT MUCH OF A HUNTER.. AND REALLY HE DOES NOT WANT TO TRAP THE ANIMALS.. HE JUST LIKES DESIGNING THE TRAP..

HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ( I LIKE THIS ONE!) CAME TO VISIT ME THE FIRST PART OF THE WEEK..

HOMER CAME IN TELLING US ABOUT THE POND THEY WERE FILLING IN AT THIS NEW HOUSING DEVELOPEMENT, HIS BOSS AND SOME PARTNERS ARE DEVELOPING.. AND HOW THAT MOST OF THE BIGGER FISH WERE TRAPPED IN A LARGE PUDDLE, IN THE BOTTOM OF THE POND THEY HAD BEEN DRAINING ALL DAY..

NOTHING WOULD DO BUT FOR US ALL TO LOAD UP AND GO AND LOOK AT THESE BIG FISH...

HOMER KNOWS JAMIE REALLY, REALLY WELL...

AND I SAW THE LITTLE EVIL GLEAM IN HIS EYES..

UMM HUMMM... HE WANTED TO GET THE FISH AND PUT THEM IN OUR PONDS...

BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO GET MUDDY GETTING THEM..

HE KNOWS JAMIE WILL JUST ABOUT DO ANYTHING, IF IT INVOLVES TRAPPING SOMETHING AND SAVING IT..

JAMIE TOOK ONE STEP OUT ONTO THAT NEW MUD, AND SHUUUUUUUPPP! UP TO HIS THIGHS !

I MEAN THAT KIND OF MUD, THAT SMELLS LIKE MUD, YA CATCH MY DRIFT HERE?

SO SARAH AND DINGLE, THE WONDER DOG, ( HE IS SARAH'S GUARD DOG... AND HIDES BEHIND HER IF YOU MAKE A LOUD NOISE! HEHE) PULL HIS NASTY BUTT UP OUT OF THE SLIME PIT...

JAMIE IS SURE IT IS FIRMER OVER ON THIS SIDE OF THE BIG PUDDLE OF ..... WELL ... NEVER MIND..

THIS DID NOT WORK EITHER.. SO SARAH TO THE RESCUE ONCE MORE....... THIS GIRL HAS GOT IT BAD NOW.. TRUE LOVE I RECKON!

TIME TO BRING IN THE BIG TONKA TOYS.. AND GET SERIOUS ABOUT THIS DEAL! ANY PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO WORK WITH DON'TCHA KNOW ...ARE YOU STILL WITH THIS PROGRAM HERE? NEITHER WAS SARAH AND I UNTIL.... ..... ......

THE LIFT AND DIP OPERATION WAS BORN! HEHEHEEEE!

WHICH WAS A REALLY FINE IDEA.. BUT .. WHEN JAMIE REACHED DOWN TO CATCH UP A FISH IN THE NET.. HE SCOOPED UP A LOT OF MUD WITH THE FISH.. AND WELL HE LOST HIS BALANCE AND ...

BELLY FLOPPED INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE PUDDLE......

I HAVE BEEN PUT UNDER THE THREAT OF CYBER MASS MULTIATION OF MY BLOG IF MY SON SEES THAT IMAGE ON THIS BLOG... THE OTHERS OKAY.. BUT NOT THE BIG FALL FROM GRACE.. HAHAHAHAHAHAA OMG!! I STILL HAVE A SORE SIDE FROM LAUGHING SO HARD .. HE WAS THE SAME COLOR AS THE MUD.. BECAUSE IT COATED JUST LIKE SHAKE AND BAKE.. HEHEHE ALL YOU COULD SEE WAS THE WHITES OF HIS EYES! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

HE TOOK THE NET AND DIPPED UP THE FISH AND THREW THEM INTO THE BUCKET OF THE TRACK HOE.. AND THEN HE GRABBED ONE OF THE TEETH ON THE BUCKET AND HOMER PULLED HIM OUT ..... HE HAD TO RIDE IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK ON THE WAY HOME WITH DINGLE.. AND THE FISH.. HEHEHEEEE

WE GOT THEM INTO ONE OF THE PONDS ... AND IT IS A MIRACLE BUT NONE OF THEM DIED FROM THE BEING SAVED!

AFTER A FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME WITH THE OUTSIDE WATERHOSE... WE FOUND THAT JAMIE'S SHOES WERE MISSING!

AND THEY ARE STILL MISSING.... HOMER SAID THE POND ATE THEM.. UMMM HUMMMMM...

lockerridge