Hillbilly Technology Inc.

Friday, December 21, 2007

DECEMBER 21, 2007 THE IGNOBEL AWARDS .... COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC AND HILARIOUS!

I RECENTLY JOINED A ROCKHOUNDING CLUB THAT SENDS ME A EMAIL DIGEST EVERYDAY. ONE OF THE MEMBERS IS A BIOLOGIST THAT OWNS A FISH HATCHERY IN THE NORTHWEST UNITED STATES. HE RECIEVES A LOT OF AWARD PRESENTATION INVITATIONS AND HE POSTED THE LINK TO THE WEBSITE OF THE IGNOBEL AWARDS . OF COURSE I HAD TO GO AND CHECK IT OUT.. THEN I HAD TO SHARE IT WITH ALL OF YOU! KEEP IN MIND THAT THESE ARE ACTUAL STUDIES DONE BY PEOPLE AND ARE PUBLISHED TO THE PUBLIC AS ACTUAL INFORMATION THAT IS AN ATTEMPT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND AND IMPROVE OUR DAILY QUALITY OF LIVING! I SPENT A GOOD HOUR AT THIS SITE WITH TEARS OF LAUGHTER STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.... CHECK IT OUT.. I CHOSE A SELECT FEW OF MY FAVORITES FOR YOU TO SAMPLE HERE ... HONESTLY I DON'T SEE HOW THE HUMAN RACE HAS SURVIVED AS LONG AS WE HAVE! ***************************************************
Winners of the Ig® Nobel Prize

The 2007 Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded on Thursday night, October 4, at the 17th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Harvard's Sanders Theatre. You can watch archived video of the ceremony. ================================================== http://www.ignobel.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html#ig2007 ================================== The 2005 Ig Nobel Prize Winners =========================================

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.
REFERENCES: US Patent #5868140, and the book Going Going NUTS!, by Gregg A. Miller, PublishAmerica, 2004, ISBN 1413753167.
ACCEPTING: The winner was unable to travel, and delivered his acceptance speech via video. ==========================================

============================

THIS ONE HAS

THE LOCKERRIDGE THUMBS^UP AWARD

FOR SURE!

FLUID DYNAMICS: Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of International University Bremen, Germany and the University of Oulu, Finland; and Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University, Hungary, for using basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin, as detailed in their report "Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh -- Calculations on Avian Defaecation."
PUBLISHED IN: Polar Biology, vol. 27, 2003, pp. 56-8.
ACCEPTING: The winners were unable to attend the ceremony because they could not obtain United States visas to visit the United States. Dr. Meyer-Rochow sent an acceptance speech via video. ====================================== The 2006 Ig Nobel Prize Winners ================================================

MEDICINE: Francis M. Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine, for his medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage"; and Majed Odeh, Harry Bassan, and Arie Oliven of Bnai Zion Medical Center, Haifa, Israel, for their subsequent medical case report also titled "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage."
REFERENCE: "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage," Francis M. Fesmire, Annals of Emergency Medicine, vol. 17, no. 8, August 1988 p. 872.
REFERENCE: "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage,"
Majed Odeh, Harry Bassan, and Arie Oliven, Journal of Internal Medicine, vol. 227, no. 2, February 1990, pp. 145-6. They are at the Department of Internal Medicine, Bnai Zion Medical Center, Haifa, Israel.
REFERENCE: "Hiccups and Digital Rectal Massage," M. Odeh and A. Oliven, Archives of Otolaryngology -- Head and Neck Surgery, vol. 119, 1993, p. 1383.
WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY: Francis Fesmire ==============================================

PEACE: Howard Stapleton of Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant -- a device that makes annoying high-pitched noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults; and for later using that same technology to make telephone ringtones that are audible to teenagers but probably not to their teachers.
REFERENCE: http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk
WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY: Howard Stapleton planned to attend, but his plans were interrupted by a family medical situation. ====================================================== The 2007 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

========================================

MEDICINE: Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch, Tennessee, USA, for their penetrating medical report "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects."
REFERENCE: "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects," Brian Witcombe and Dan Meyer, British Medical Journal, December 23, 2006, vol. 333, pp. 1285-7.
WHO ATTENDED THE CEREMONY: Brian Witcombe and Dan Meyer ===============================

CHEMISTRY: Mayu Yamamoto of the International Medical Center of Japan, for developing a way to extract vanillin -- vanilla fragrance and flavoring -- from cow dung.
REFERENCE: "Novel Production Method for Plant Polyphenol from Livestock Excrement Using Subcritical Water Reaction," Mayu Yamamoto, International Medical Center of Japan.
WHO ATTENDED THE CEREMONY: Mayu Yamamoto
PRESS NOTE: Toscanini's Ice Cream, the finest ice cream shop in Cambridge, Massachusetts, created a new ice cream flavor in honor of Mayu Yamamoto, and introduced it at the Ig Nobel ceremony. The flavor is called "Yum-a-Moto Vanilla Twist." =====================================

LINGUISTICS: Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Universitat de Barcelona, for showing that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards.
REFERENCE: "Effects of Backward Speech and Speaker Variability in Language Discrimination by Rats," Juan M. Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, Journal of Experimental Psychology: Animal Behavior Processes, vol. 31, no. 1, January 2005, pp 95-100.
WHO ATTENDED THE CEREMONY: The winners could not travel to the ceremony, so they instead delivered their acceptance speech via recorded video ============================

PEACE: The Air Force Wright Laboratory, Dayton, Ohio, USA, for instigating research & development on a chemical weapon -- the so-called "gay bomb" -- that will make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other.
REFERENCE: "Harassing, Annoying, and 'Bad Guy' Identifying Chemicals," Wright Laboratory, WL/FIVR, Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio, June 1, 1994.

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Creative Spiritz

lockerridge

Monday, December 17, 2007

DECEMBER 17, 2007 FIRST IMPRESSIONS...

First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
You're sitting down when you read it. This is
Probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
Not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the
Cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
Embarrassing first date that a woman ever had
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
Took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...
Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken
Her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake
City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They
Were strangers, after all, and truly had never
Met before. The outing was fun but relatively
Uneventful until they were headed home late that
Afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when
She gradually began to realize that she should
Not have had that extra latte. They were about an
Hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
Middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try
To hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
Slow going, there came a point where she told him
That he had better stop and let her go beside the
Road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the
Car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep
Snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt
Rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her
Companion stood on the side of the car watching for
Traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
Refrained from peeking. All she could think about
Was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
Nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
Another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
The young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly
Glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came
to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from
the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a
brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified
by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,she answered her date's concerns about...

"what is taking
so long?"

with a reply that indeed she was ....

"freezing her
her butt off"

...and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself
with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the
giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation
was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-
time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
her butt off the fender.

Are you wondering how the relationship faired after this great first impression? Her husband was sitting next to her in the audience .. confirming that it was indeed a true story.. and that after that.. what else did he need to know about her... hehehehee..

lockerridge

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

What Happens When You Ask for Help On a Mulitply Group.... EDITED

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN DELETED BECAUSE THE ISSUE HAS BEEM RESOLVED..

THANKS FOR LETTING ME BLOW OFF STEAM AND SAY A COUPLE VERY UNLADYLIKE WORDS WITHOUT GASPING.... MY FRIENDS.... I APOLOGISE IF I OFFENDED ANYONE WITH MY DISPLAY OF TEMPER.. BUT SOMETIMES.. YOU JUST GOTTA LET THE TOP BLOW OFF.. OR YOU JUST MIGHT DO SOMETHING EVEN WORSE!

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH MY RESPECT AND LOVE FOR EACH OF YOU.. MY FRIENDS

GOODNIGHT..

LOCKIE

Saturday, December 8, 2007

DECEMBER 9, 2007 1-2-3 WHAT DO I SEE? IT'S DANI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! PARTY HERE TODAY.. RIGHT NOW!

HEY HEY HEY!!

HO HO HO!!!

WHAT TIME IS IT YOU MIGHT ASK?

ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

WHOOO HOOOO!

THIS TIME FOR

MY SWEET SIS...

...DANI...

OF THE FANDAMILY NEW GIZMO TYPE!!

MY BESTEST OF OF THE BEST..

OF ALL THE REST..

FRIEND!!

FIRST UP WE HAVE THE BARREL OF PRESENTS UNCLE BILLY BOB ROUNDED UP FOR YOU FROM THE BEST OF THE BEST PICKINS FROM THE SANITATION TREASURE HUNT TRUCK! YIPPY SKIPPY YEAH!!!!!!!