JULY 11, 2008 SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED... A DIOGENESE 19348 STORY..
The following is a story written by my online friend here at Multiply... Bryan or Diogenese 19348.. He has his own website where he publishes his Dio and Flagon Series of stories about a wizard and his friend a 30 ft. tall dragon...
FLAGONS WORKSHOP....
They really are very funny, with Dio's take on fairy tales and present day cartoon characters as the theme.
Dio also writes with an insight into modern day problems with his stories, as they are set into the past and future times with present day circumstances in the world as the theme for the stories. With his permission, I am posting his latest blog .. which isn't about Dio and Flagon .. but about the problems we are facing with the gas prices and the mismanagment of the companies in our country.
On with the story..
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
Photo by AJ Ladyhawk
In the days of the inventor, gears would have whirred, belts clanked, and drills would have been drilling.
As it was though, there was just the low hum of the circuits, and the flashing of indicator lights, and a middle aged Henry Ford emerged from the vortex.
He gazed around himself, curiously, and nodded at the technicians. The executives were easy enough to pick out. A bad sign in itself.
"So, who are you, and where and why am I here?" Henry asked.
"Ah, yes. Why is the key question. You are in the future Mr. Ford. As to ‘where’, you are at Ford Headquarters. The ‘why’ is because we are in trouble, and need your help. You can call me John, or Mr Ford, although that would be confusing obviously. You are my great-great-great grandfather."
"What kind of trouble?" Henry asked, going to a window and looking at the parking lot. "Which of those cars are ours anyway?"
"All of them," John said. "They represent our entire product line."
"I notice different plates on them. Mercury, Lincoln and Ford. What is that about?"
"It is about choice sir, giving the consumer what they wanted." John said.
"I always thought the consumer wanted a car they could afford and repair. They don’t want that anymore?" Henry asked.
"Well, um," John stammered.
"So the problem is again?" Henry asked.
"We cannot manufacture a car at a profit, and remain competitive with other automotive companies." John explained.
"What, GM and Chrysler giving you a fit these days?" Henry asked.
"Japanese mostly", John admitted.
"Japanese? They have no oil, coal, or iron, they have to import all of it. Then they have to ship their car back across the ocean, and set up a dealership network in a foreign country, and you cannot compete with them on price?" Henry sputtered
"We have to pay the workers too much including health benefits and retirement." John protested.
"I paid my workers the highest wage in the industry at the time. Particularly those that worked hard, and had good morals. What changed there?" Henry asked.
"Unions," John said.
"What...did...you...say?" Henry said in a low, menacing voice.
"It wasn’t my fault." John quickly explained. "Besides, we are using robots to build the cars now."
"So how many cars does a robot buy?" asked Henry.
"Well, none of course", said John.
"From what I can see you have everything wrong. You are paying your workers not to work, and they resent you for it.
You are making an assembly line do what it does really badly.
You are producing cars and telling the public why they need them
. They are financing those cars right?" Henry asked.
"Yes sir," said John.
"Over what length of time?" Henry asked.
"Up to six years." John said.
"Six years?"
" Really?"
Do your cars actually last that long without breaking down?"
"We offer an extended warranty." John said weakly.
"So you really don’t know how much it costs in labor to make a car, you keep paying them long after they stop working."
You also do not know how much the car is going to cost you in repairs, so you have no idea what to charge and make a profit."
" The expenses come in after the product is made and sold." Henry observed.
"That’s one way of looking at it I guess." John said.
"We made the model T only in black, do you know why?" Henry asked.
"No idea," John said.
"Then you know nothing about manufacturing cars. Black paint dried faster, and didn’t hold up the assembly line. We didn’t branch out into other colors until we could handle them."
" B-24's" Henry added.
"What about them? That was a plane wasn’t it?" John asked.
"Your grasp of history is astounding in lack of depth. It took a month to put one in the air. We got it down to one per hour. Where did you think all those planes came from?"
John stared down at his shoes.
"Well, you don’t know assembly lines, your customers, your supply channel, or how to deal with your labor. Personally I would recommend layoffs..." Henry said.
"We were thinking that too!" one of the executes said. "The question is where to start."
"I would start with everybody in this room. Make them do honest work for a change. In the meantime, I think I will found a company." Henry said.
"To make cars?" asked John.
"No, to make horse drawn carriages. With the current gas prices, I think I could put you all out of business in five years." Henry concluded.
DIOGENESE 19348 (BRYAN)
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