OCTOBER, 16, 2008 THE ENERGIZER BUNNY® HOT HARE BALLOON.. THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIVING

OCTOBER, 16, 2008
 THE ENERGIZER BUNNY® HOT HARE BALLOON..
 THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIVING

        

The Energizer Bunny® first went airborne in September, 1994, leading a hare-and-hounds race at the 21st annual Great Forest Park Balloon Race in St. Louis. She has been breezing across the country ever since. She has floated over cities from Upstate New York, to the southern tip of California.

( She sure gets around... doesn't she?)


That’s One Big Bunny!


The Energizer Bunny® Hot Hare Balloon is the world’s biggest hot air balloon.
At 166 feet tall, (the height of a six-story building and 15-feet taller than the Statue of Liberty) The Energizer Bunny® Hot Hare Balloon’s feet are a gigantic size 98, which always makes for interesting landings.

(I gripe cause they don't make grownup people shoes for a size 5 foot... now this size 98 could prove to be a might embarrassing.. whoa!)



JUST HOW BIG .." IS".. BIG?



Hot Hare Vital Statistics

All the details about the Energizer Bunny® Hot Hare Balloon—the world's largest hot air balloon.
Total Height:    166' — 15' taller than the Statue of Liberty
Ears Height:    60' — as tall as the Presidents' faces on Mount Rushmore. EB's ears alone, are the height of an entire average-sized hot air balloon.
Head:    30' wide x 45' long
Glasses:    32' wide
Drum:    45' diameter, 20' wide
Nose:    16' wide
Arms:    40' long
Tail:    20' diameter
Sandals:    60' long, 12' wide, 4' deep
Shoe Size:    98
Balloon Volume:    180,000 cu. ft. — 550,000,000 AA batteries could fit inside the Energizer Bunny® Hot Hare Balloon. That's enough power to juice a portable CD player for everyone in the United States.
Balloon Weight:    1,170 lbs. — the same as 4,680 D batteries, which would power 2,340 flashlights or a portable stereo for 9 months straight.
Double Burner Output:    30,000,000 BTU/hour — the equivalent amount of heat produced by 5,000 gas grills.
Deflation Ports (Vents):    93
Fabric:    5,000 linear yards, 60' wide
Thread:    84 miles

( 84 MILES of thread..... WHOA!)



When will the Energizer Bunny® Hot Hare will breeze into your community.

2008 Balloon Schedule

(Looks like we have missed all of them for the year 2008.. but now that I know that it is not a UFO or maybe somebodies idea of joke for lockie.. yep.. I 'll be looking for it in 2009! I wonder if they fly her in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.. bet she is too big .. but I will check it out!)



Date      Event      Location

April 17 - 20, 2008     Sunrise Community Balloon Race     Miami, FL
April 24 - 26, 2008     Kentucky Derby Balloon Festival     Louisville, KY
May 1 - 4, 2008     Strawberry Festival     Chadbourn, NC
May 15 - 17, 2008     Preakness Balloon Race     Baltimore, MD
May 24 - 25, 2008     Alabama Jubilee Balloon Classic     Decatur, AL
June 13 - 15, 2008     Gulf Coast Balloon Festival     Pennscola, FL/Mobile, AL
June 18 - 22, 2008     DFW Summer Balloon Classic     Dallas, TX
June 28 - 29, 2008     Sonoma County Hot Air Balloon Classic     Santa Rosa, CA
July 3 - 6, 2008     Lisle Eyes to the Sky Balloon Festival     Lisle, IL
July 17 - 20, 2008     Wellsville Balloon Festival     Wellsville, NY
July 25 - 27, 2008     QuickChek New Jersey Festival of Ballooning     Readington, NJ
August 6 - 10, 2008     Metro New York Balloon and Music Festival     Long Island, NY
August 22 - 24, 2008     Rocky Mountain Balloon Festival     Denver, CO
September 5 - 7, 2008     Great Reno Balloon Race     Reno, NV
September 12 - 14, 2008     Snowmass Balloon Festival     Snowmass, CO
September 19 - 21, 2008     Great Forest Park Balloon Race     St. Louis, MO
September 25 - 28, 2008     Pelississippi State Hot Air Balloon Festival     Knoxville, TN
October 3 - 12, 2008     Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta     Albuquerque, NM

Be a Hot Hare Volunteer


Be part of the Energizer Hot Hare Balloon Team. To volunteer when the
Energizer Hot Hare Balloon Team comes to a town near you, e-mail the
pilot at HotHareCrew@netzero.com.

(OH YEAH.. YOU KNOW IF I CAN GET THERE .. LOCKIE WILL BE LOOKING DOWN ON THE WORLD, UNLESS THEY WANT ME TO LIKE.. SHOVEL COAL OR SOMETHING.. THEN THEY CAN GO FLY A BUNNY!)
        


IF YOUR NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE YET... GIT'R DONE FOLKS!
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lockerridge

OCTOBER 12, 2008 AIGs Crucial Role in The Banking Collapse ..WHAT HAPPENED AND WHY.

AIGs Crucial Role in The

Banking Collapse

Oct 09, 2008

Original Article

Written By:

Porter Stansberry

Preamble Opinion Summary written by blog owner:

Lockerridge

 This is a long article... but it is an important one for us all. This guy tells it like no one else has yet. I understand this fella. Some parts of this article were edited out by me.. they were basically Mr. Stansberry giving financial advice on how to invest your money in todays stock market. After all he makes his living from investing peoples money for them. 

So in an effort to keep to the blog original topic, the AIG involvement and why it was and is such a major player in the financial crisis facing our country as well as the rest of the world,  I omitted them.

But if you wish to read what he advises .. this is the link to the article on the website

  MONEY WEEK: PORTER STANLEY ARTICLE

To put it in a nutshell. AIG took advantage of some loopholes in the laws governing the banks that are doing business worldwide. They committed legal fraud. They lied. They made millions upon millions of dollars,appear in the market place, from thin air. They were enabled legally to take on the major player  part in for over a decade.

 I color coded all of the things which I think are particularly disgusting..  

I think I finally understand what happened and why it happened. It was bound to fold up like a house of cards eventually. In my mind what this company and its partners did is illegal and that entire management and all those partners who were making billions from it, should be held criminally responsible for their actions. But then it would open up the door to the politicians who made their own BIG BUCKS from it!  Can't let that happen can they?

How, in our age of high tech communications, did not some news program, like 60 Minutes investigate this scam that has landed us into this mess? I mean I know what Brittany and Paris like to eat for breakfast, and if they prefer White Cloud or Charmin, why not something less important like my entire financial future!

End of Lockerridge Opinion Summary

Oct 09, 2008

Written By:Porter Stansberry

Editing omissions of financial advice

By Lockerridge

Something very strange is happening in the financial markets. And I can show you what it is and what it means...

If September didn't give you enough to worry about, consider what will happen to real estate prices as unemployment grows steadily over the next several months. As bad as things are now, they'll get much worse.

They'll get worse for the obvious reason: because more people will default on their mortgages. But they'll also remain depressed for far longer than anyone expects, for a reason most people will never understand. What follows is one of the real secrets to September's stock market collapse. Once you understand what really happened last month, the events to come will be much clearer to you...

Every great bull market has similar characteristics. The speculation must – at the beginning – start with a reasonably good idea. Using long-term mortgages to pay for homes is a good idea, with a few important caveats.

Some of these limitations are obvious to any intelligent observer... like the need for a substantial down-payment, the verification of income, an independent appraisal, etc. But human nature dictates that, given enough time and the right incentives, any endeavour will be corrupted. This is one of the two critical elements of a bubble. What was once a good idea becomes a farce. You already know all the stories of how this happened in the housing market, where loans were eventually given without fixed rates, without income verification, without down-payments, and without legitimate appraisals.

As bad as these practices were, they would not have created a global financial panic without the second, more critical element. For things to get really out of control, the farce must evolve further... into fraud.

And this is where AIG comes into the story.

Around the world, banks must comply with what are known as Basel II regulations. These regulations determine how much capital a bank must maintain in reserve. The rules are based on the quality of the bank's loan book. The riskier the loans a bank owns, the more capital it must keep in reserve. Bank managers naturally seek to employ as much leverage as they can, especially when interest rates are low, to maximise profits. AIG appeared to offer banks a way to get around the Basel rules, via unregulated insurance contracts, known as credit default swaps.

Here's how it worked:

Say you're a major European bank... You have a surplus of deposits, because in Europe people actually still bother to save money. You're looking for something to maximise the spread between what you must pay for deposits and what you're able to earn lending. You want it to be safe and reliable, but also pay the highest possible annual interest. You know you could buy a portfolio of high-yielding sub prime mortgages. But doing so will limit the amount of leverage you can employ, which will limit returns.

So rather than rule out having any high-yielding securities in your portfolio, you simply call up the friendly AIG broker you met at a conference in London last year.

"What would it cost me to insure this sub prime security?" you inquire. The broker, who is selling a five-year policy (but who will be paid a bonus annually), says, "Not too much." After all, the historical loss rates on American mortgages is close to zilch.

Using incredibly sophisticated computer models, he agrees to guarantee the sub prime security you're buying against default for five years for say, 2% of face value.

Although AIG's credit default swaps were really insurance contracts, they weren't regulated. That meant AIG didn't have to put up any capital as collateral on its swaps, as long as it maintained a triple-A credit rating. There was no real capital cost to selling these swaps; there was no limit. And thanks to what's called 'mark-to-market'

 accounting, AIG could book the profit from a five-year credit default swap as soon as the contract was sold, based on the expected default rate.

Whatever the computer said AIG was likely to make on the deal, the accountants would write down as actual profit. The broker who sold the swap would be paid a bonus at the end of the first year – long before the actual profit on the contract was made.

With this structure in place, the European bank was able to assure its regulators it was holding only triple-A credits, instead of a bunch of sub prime 'toxic waste.' The bank could leverage itself to the full extent allowable under Basel II. AIG could book hundreds of millions in 'profit' each year, without having to pony up billions in collateral.

It was a fraud. AIG never [had] any capital to back up the insurance it sold. And the profits it booked never materialised. The default rate on mortgage securities underwritten in 2005, 2006, and 2007 turned out to be multiples higher than expected. And they continue to increase. In some cases, the securities the banks claimed were triple A have ended up being worth less than $0.15 on the dollar.

Even so, it all worked for years. Banks leveraged deposits to the hilt. Wall Street packaged and sold dumb mortgages as securities. And AIG sold credit default swaps without bothering to collateralise the risk. An enormous amount of capital was created out of thin air and tossed into global real estate markets.

On September 15, all of the major credit-rating agencies downgraded AIG – the world's largest insurance company. At issue were the soaring losses in its credit default swaps. The first big write-off came in the fourth quarter of 2007, when AIG reported an $11 billion charge. It was able to raise capital once, to repair the damage. But the losses kept growing. The moment the downgrade came, AIG was forced to come up with tens of billions of additional collateral, immediately. This was on top of the billions it owed to its trading partners. It didn't have the money. The world's largest insurance company was bankrupt.

The dominoes fell over immediately. Lehman Brothers failed on the same day. Merrill was sold to Bank of America. The Fed stepped in and agreed to lend AIG $85 billion to facilitate an orderly sell off of its assets in exchange for essentially all the company's equity.

Most people never understood how AIG was the linchpin to the entire system. And there's one more secret yet to come out...

AIG's largest trading partner wasn't a nameless European bank. It was Goldman Sachs.

I'd wondered for years how Goldman avoided the kind of huge mortgage-related write downs that plagued all the other investment banks. And now we know: Goldman hedged its exposure via credit default swaps with AIG. Sources inside Goldman say the company's exposure to AIG exceeded $20 billion, meaning the moment AIG was downgraded, Goldman had to begin marking down the value of its assets. And the moment AIG went bankrupt, Goldman lost $20 billion. Goldman immediately sought out Warren Buffett to raise $5 billion of additional capital, which also helped it raise another $5 billion via a public offering.

The collapse of the credit default swap market also meant the investment banks – all of them – had no way to borrow money, because no one would insure their obligations.

To fund their daily operations, they've become totally reliant on the Federal Reserve, which has allowed them to formally become commercial banks. To date, banks, insurance firms, and investment banks have borrowed $348 billion from the Federal Reserve – nearly all of this lending took place following AIG's failure. Things are so bad at the investment banks, the Fed had to change the rules to allow Merrill, Morgan Stanley and Goldman the ability to use equities as collateral for these loans, an unprecedented step.

The mainstream press hasn't reported this either: A provision in the $700 billion bailout bill permits the Fed to pay interest on the collateral it's holding, which is simply a way to funnel taxpayer dollars directly into the investment banks.

Why do you need to know all of these details? First, you must understand that without the government's actions, the collapse of AIG could have caused every major bank in the world to fail.

Second, without the credit default swap market, there's no way banks can report the true state of their assets – they'd all be in default of Basel II. That's why the government will push through a measure that requires the suspension of mark-to-market accounting. Essentially, banks will be allowed to pretend they have far higher-quality loans than they actually do. AIG can't cover for them anymore.

And third, and most importantly, without the huge fraud perpetrated by AIG, the mortgage bubble could have never grown as large as it did. Yes, other factors contributed, like the role of Fannie and Freddie in particular. But the key to enabling the huge global growth in credit during the last decade can be tied directly to AIG's sale of credit default swaps without collateral. That was the barn door. And it was left open for nearly a decade.

There's no way to replace this massive credit-building machine, which makes me very skeptical of the government's bailout plan. Quite simply, we can't replace the credit that existed in the world before September 15 because it didn't deserve to be there in the first place. While the government can, and certainly will, paper over the gaping holes left by this enormous credit collapse, it can't actually replace the trust and credit that existed... because it was a fraud.

And that leads me to believe the coming economic contraction will be longer and deeper than most people understand.

 

• This article was written by Porter Stansberry

Related articles

All you need to know about credit default swaps

By David Stevenson, Oct 10, 2008

The credit crunch begins to squeeze the real economy

Oct 10, 2008

The world steps up the battle against the crunch

Oct 10, 2008

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lockerridge

TAGGED CONTENT VEHICLE

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THIS BLOG IS A VEHICLE I AM GOING TO TRY TO USE TO PUT A TAGGED CONTENT ON MY HOME PAGE BECAUSE .. WELL.. I WANT TO I SUPPOSE.. LOL..SO ENJOY IT NOW OR JUST CLICK PLAY ON MY HOME PAGE AND  HOPEFULLY IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FINE!
SHANIA TWAIN...
 MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!
A LOCKERRIDGE ALL TIME FAVORITE!
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CLICK CROP AND POST THEME FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 7, 2008 GOD'S ART GALLERY.. SUNSETS

CLICK CROP AND POST

THEME FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 7, 2008 

GOD'S ART GALLERY..

 SUNSETS

HOWDY FRIENDS AND FELLOW PHOTO OPPORTUNISTS!

ACCORDING TO THE GUIDEINES I CAN POST THREE PICTURES MAXIMUM.  IF YOU GUYS KNOW ME EVEN A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW I PUSH THE EDGE AS FAR AS IT WILL GO!

LOL.. SO HERE ARE THREE OF MY FAVORITE SUNSETS FROM MY HOME STATE OF ARKANSAS.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY LOOKING AT THESE PHOTOS .. BECAUSE I CAN CLEARLY REMEMBER THE REAL THING!

 IT IS A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU THINK OF WHAT A MIRACLE IT REALLY IS.

AT SUNRISE FOR ME.. HE BRINGS LIGHT INTO THE DARKNESS.. UNTIL I AM TIRED AND THEN HE BRINGS BACK THE DARKNESS SO I MIGHT REST. WHILE HE IS DOING THIS FOR ME, THE SAME THING HAPPENS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, FOR THOSE WHO LIVE THERE.

IT TOOK A GENIUS TO FIGURE THAT OUT.. A TRUE GENIUS.

 HE IS THE LORD GOD.

COTTON CANDY CLOUDS   THE BEAUTY OF THE SUNSET, AND WHAT IT IS CAPABLE OF DOING TO THE SKY OVER OUR HEADS, HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO WITNESS. IT BRINGS NEEDED AFFIRMATION TO ME THAT GOD IS IN HEAVEN..  PAINTING BEAUTY INTO MY WORLD.  

 

SUNSET ON MY MOUNTAIN.

THIS PHOTO HAS HAD NO EDITING EXCEPT FOR THE PLACING OF MY LOGO ON IT..

SOME MORE OF THOSE COTTON CANDY CLOUDS IN GOD'S ART GALLERY OF THE EVENING SKY.

I TOOK THIS ONE EVENING IN THE SUMMER JUST AS THE SUN WAS SETTING AND THE RAIN WAS STOPPING... ALL OF THE DIFFERENT COLORS WERE AN ACTUAL PART OF THIS SUNSET IN MY STATE OF ARKANSAS. I DID HAVE TO REMOVE A COUPLE OF HIGHLINE WIRES AND A POLE FROM IT WITH MY SCRATCH REMOVER. THEN I USED THE SHARPEN OPTION IN MY EDITOR ON THE LOWEST SETTING IT HAS. TO TWEEK IT A LITTLE BIT TO BRING IT ALL OUT A LITTLE CRISPER, AND PLACED MY LOGO IN IT.   

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lockerridge

OCTOBER 3, 2008 THE AMAZING HUMAN BODY

OCTOBER 3, 2008 THE  AMAZING  HUMAN BODY

 

Have you ever wondered why your feet stink sometimes... or maybe how long your dreams last usually.. or maybe you wonder how big your brain really is..

Well wonder no longer..

PRESENTING

Lockerridge Collection Of...

 The Human Body Trivia

(send all donations to the poster child who was named "most likely to be the reason condoms were invented" fund)

1. Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream.

2. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

3. You use 200 muscles to take one step.

4. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

5. Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

6. A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

7. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

8. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

9. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

10. It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

11. The average human dream lasts 23 seconds.

12. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

13. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

14. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

15. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

16. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

17. Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

18. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

19. Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

 
20. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...

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lockerridge

RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT 2008 .. News on Ron Paul 2008 Revolution

RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT 2008

News on Ron Paul 2008 Revolution
http://www.ronpaulforpresident2008.com/news/

IF THIS IS HOW YOU SEE YOUR OPTIONS IN AMERICA TODAY...

THERE IS A DIFFERENT CHOICE .. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY A DONKEY OR AN ELEPHANT TO CAST YOUR VOTE FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
I SUPPORT RON PAUL AS A WRITE IN CANDIDATE FOR THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!
YOU YELL YOU WANT CHANGE.. HERE IT IS.. GOOD SOLID CHANGE! JUST LISTEN TO THE MAN.. HE MAKES SENSE! THE VOTE YESTERDAY IN CONGRESS FOR APPROVAL OR DEFEAT OF A BAILOUT WAS A TOTAL SHAM!  ALL IT WAS .. WAS SOMETHING TO PACIFY THE PEOPLE .. MAKE US THINK WE HAD BEEN HEARD AND HAD A SAY IN IT ALL.. WATCH THE LAST VIDEO.. DR. PAUL TELLS YOU WHAT IS GOING ON BEHIND OUR BACK AND HAS BEEN FOR YEARS.. THE PRESIDENT HAS FIXED OUR TAX MONEY SO THE CONGRESS HAS NO SAY SO OVER HOW HE WANTS IT SPENT, EXCEPT FOR THINGS LIKE SOCIAL SECURITY .. THE FDIC INSURANCE.. AND SOME OTHER MONIES HE CAN'T TOUCH EXCEPT THOROUGH CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL.. HE IS A FREE AGENT PEOPLE!

RON PAUL IN ACTION ON THE FLOOR YESTERDAY DURING THE VOTE FOR THE BAILOUT...

AN INTERVIEW WITH RON PAUL AFTER THE VOTE.  LISTEN TO WHAT HE TELLS YOU IS HAPPENING IN THE FED.. RIGHT AFTER THEY VOTED DOWN THE BAILOUT.. THE FED FUNNELED 600 BILLION DOLLARS IN CREDIT INTO THE MARKET! THEY HAVE NO CONTROLS OVER THEM. THEY ARE ALLOWED AT FREE WILL TO DO AS THEY PLEASE WITH "OUR" MONEY FOLKS! LISTEN TO THIS MAN.. VOTE FOR THIS MAN.. LETS GET THE "CAN WE GET AWAY WITH IT" JESTERS OUT OF OUR LIVES AND OUR CHILDREN'S LIVES.. THEY ARE DEPENDING ON US TO FIX THIS MESS THAT HAS COME ABOUT.. AND DR. PAUL.. IS THE MAN TO GET THE BALL ROLLING!

 
HE IS NOT PERFECT BY ANY MEANS.. BY AT LEAST I THINK HE HAS MINE AND YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART.. ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO WHO THE USA IS REALLY IS IN THE BEST PICTURE OF THE WORLD.. AND THE PROSPERITY OF US ALL!
NO MORE SOLDIERS DOING WORK AS THE MUSCLE MEN FOR THE CRONIES IN WASHINGTON WHO ARE INTO THIS OIL THING UP TO THEIR EYEBALLS..
THIS IS THE ONLY CANDIDATE I HAVE EVER HEARD SAY.. LESS GOVERNMENTAL CONTROL IS A GOOD THING..  WHO SLAMS THE GOVERNMENT FOR SLAMMING THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM.   OLE GEORGIE SURE WOULD LIKE TO CONTROL IT ALL DON'TCHA KNOW, AND HE ALMOST HAS GOT IT JUST WHERE HE WANTS IT ...    WE ARE IN TROUBLE!    WRITE RON PAUL IN FOR YOUR CHOICE OF CANDIDATE FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 2008.. AND IF THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE DOESN'T VOTE US TO BE STUPID IN OUR CHOICE MAYBE WE MIGHT WIN ONE FOR THE PEOPLE FOR A CHANGE!   MY FRIENDS I DIDN'T POST THIS TO ARGUE A CANDIDATE WITH YOU. I RESPECT YOUR CHOICES AND I HOPE YOU CAN RESPECT MINE. I ASK YOU TO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS THAT ARE OF AN ARGUMENTATIVE NATURE PLEASE. THIS IS MY BLOG ANNOUNCING TO THE WORLD THE WAY I SEE THINGS.. MY CANDIDATE OF CHOICE .. AND INFORMATION YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW. I LOVE YA'LL AND HOPE I HAVE NOT MADE ANYONE ANGRY.. IF I HAVE .. SIGH.. I JUST HOPE YOU CAN GET OVER IT.. CAUSE I CAN'T APOLOGISE FOR EXERCISING MY RIGHT AND MY FREEDOM OF CHOICE AND EXPRESSION... I FIGURED IF I WAS FEELING THE URGE TO PUT IT IN A PUBLIC FORUM NOW WAS THE TIME.. THE FREEDOM TO DO SO MIGHT NOT BE MINE NEXT YEAR.. AND THAT MAKES ME SO SCARED I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS THE THOUGHTS ON THAT ONE...  

lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 25, 2008 MRS. HUGHES

SEPTEMBER 25, 2008  MRS. HUGHES    

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 lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 23, 2008 THE LOCKERRIDGE VACATION/ YEEHAWW BABBY! 2008

 

SEPTEMBER 23, 2008

THE

LOCKERRIDGE VACATION..

YEEEHAWW BABBY!

2008

Yeeehaaaww folks! I have done it! I went on vacation all by myself.. 

 Lockerridge hath defeated the evil travel gemlins!!

 Took lessons from Shera don'tcha know! hehehehe

I took off from home on Tuesday the 9th of September and arrived in Murfreesboro around 4:30p.m.

The amount of miles I had to drive was not a lot.. but man the roads are something else! You have about 50 miles of really good 4 lane road.. and then another 85 miles of climbing up and down the Quachitah Mountains.. one of them is named Blow Out Mountian.. whew! It is two lanes and the going down side of the road has pull out places just every little while.. for big trucks to stop and put out the fire their brakes are about to burst into!

I was getting worried cause it rained on me off and on all the way there.. but never a drop except the first night camping did I hear  sprinkles on my tent roof... hehehe.. !

DEATH TO GREMLINS!

 

 Didn't see any diamonds.. sigh.. but I found something more valuable than diamonds I think maybe.

 I found out I am a grown up! 

I found out that I am capable of traveling by myself .... I can read a map.. I can find food.. I can find a place to pitch my tent.. and I can get lost a little bit and find my way back without having to have directions given to me , but am not to good to stop and ask either!...

umm humm..

 I am woman.. hear me roar..

 Well maybe not roar exactly..

Lets say..

 Talk real loud if I need to, and I found out I don't have to take crap from park officials who frown on you if you do not make their 4:00p.m. deadline to register your camping reservations... hehehe.. yep made them work for a living for once while I was privy to their activities .. and these were women! Mean eyed and mouthed too.. but after I stayed silent after this woman ragged on me about being late.. not offering an excuse for not arriving on time, sighing deeply, and asking a simple question .. "Well am I going to have to sleep in the truck in front of the visitors center tonight or what?".  

 (I was kind of tired .. just a little bit ya know..)

She filled out a form and said to go and set up and then first thing in the morning come back to register.. why I don't know.. they already had my deposit and debit card number on file.. and my name.. car tag..drivers license number.. 

 Dumb shit is just not something I put up with too well any more..and not mean mouthed dumb shit from someone who has not lived my life the last few hours especially!  Government paper work is more than just dumb shit.. it is the dumbest of shit in the entire world!

Used to be a Quality Control Tech for USDA.. with a 0 mistake tolerance for perfect paperwork.. dumbest of the dumb dooky world wide!

I put up my tent without any problems.. but when I went to air up my air mattress to sleep on.. someone had lost the little needle deal that came with my little air compressor I had stolen from Jamie.. (hum.. could be why it wasn't all there, huh?)

 I figured out that manually doing it with deep breaths was going to make me hyperventilate and probably become another state park statistic for 911 calls.. I dug around and located an ink pen and using my trusty Bic Lighter melted it a little bit and rammed it in the thing and wa-la.... little air mattress filler upper lockie style! This must have been about the time I figured out.. if I don't have any car trouble.. I can do this stuff!

Taking a shower in a camp site is an experience all its own also.. Killed two monster spiders and a mosquito the size of a house fly with my towel the first morning.. after that.. I took my fly swatter with me!

I dug and I walked all the nature trails and then I went to visit a friend from here.. Crystal .. you might know her as alterb4ego here on multiply.. twice. Met her and her husband John and their three kids.. Allie, Jessie and Paige.. Had to bribe Paige to smile by telling her I would put her on the internet.. so look for them in the sideshow..

Simply wonderful people all the way around! Felt so at home in their house.. Lady Bell really liked me ... a lot! Dog has got a very odd way of loving on a person.. and a very wet tongue.. got a little personal there once or twice.. but nothing I couldn't control! hahahahahahahaaa!

Took Crystal some peacock feathers and the kids a watermelon.. and on the next to last day there I found a horse-apple tree in the mine field and took her a couple of those for roach control.. hey try it all .. those things are worse than gremlins to get rid of!

Allie treated me to a showing of all her pretty rocks and they gave me an amethyst to take home with me.. hehehe.. only precious gem I found in all that dirt digging!

I was really into it until I watched this guy and his wife run a sluice all day long.. they don't allow any wheeled or motorized transport in the mine area.. so this guy all day long.. put a five gallon bucket on each end of a cedar post and carried them full of dirt to a sluice thing where he dumped them out and his wife ran water over them.. finally went and asked if they had found anything.. the reply was.. " Not today... but probably the next bucket full... "

WHOA! Wait a minute here lockie ole gal.. if he does this all day long.. in the heat and the bugs and finds nothing.. I looked at my little digger thing and my three pronged scratcher and .. went to Sonic and got supper!

The campsite started to fill up on Wednesday afternoon.. and the noise level increased to the irritating level well into the night .. and I was doing fine until around 2 a.m. and a hoot owl did his hooot hooott hooooowwwww thing in a tree right over my tent! I didn't spook and run away.. I had heard it all week out in the woods ... but to do it right over my tent! Make a country girl stay up the rest of the night.. make a city girl have one of those 911 call things happen!

 

The squirrels are not afraid of people either.. and right now the pine cones are ripe and hehehe.. yeah.. it is noisy when you get three or four of them crunching on them and throwing the cob down on your tent.. hehee.. raccoons and crawdads.. hehehe.. lovely!

Funny thing though.. there was this really nice expensive camper that was there all week long and I never saw a soul outside of it.. I know they were in there.. the curtains would open up every once in a while..

Finally dawned on me.. honeymooners! lol

So I packed it all up and went into Murfreesboro and got a motel room that last night there.. and had to fight the refugees from Ike for a room practically.. if I had of been in front of one those poor people I would have pitched tent again.. but I wasn't .. ( thank the good LORD!) remote controls and bathtubs and ice in a box that isn't covered in mud is such a luxury people!

And don't get me started on the joys of Air Conditioning! ooo laa laa! Who needs a man when I got access to a Rheem!

I started home on Friday around 11a.m. and piddled all the way home.. stopping here and there till the rains and wind started moving in on me..  I made it home around 4p.m.

I have been doing some major sleeping and just kicking back I guess.. feel better this week though.. and for all intents and purposes...was something I should have done years ago! 

I gained more than dirty fingernails..

I found out..

 I am a grown up after all!

 

 

I am posting two video players in hopes that you guys will be able to see one of them.. the Media Player one is for my buddy Crystal..

 

No video? Get the DivX Web Player for Windows or Mac

 

 

 

graphics for my blog provided by

glitter-graphics.com

lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 8, 2008 I AM GOING TO TRY BUNNY HOPPING FOR FUN AND PROFIT ONE MORE TIME!

SEPTEMBER 8, 2008

   I AM GOING TO TRY BUNNY HOPPING FOR FUN AND PROFIT ONE MORE TIME!

 

So wish me luck..

give me credit for having the pluck..

to brave the roads and mire and muck..

but I ask you one thing..

if I call...

please send a tow truck! 

lockerridge vacation is about to commence .. death to all gremlins who get in her way... look for me on the yahoo home page as the only person who ever dug for diamonds 24 hours a day and all she got was a lousey t-shirt.. which I am not forgetting to buy this time.. first item on my agenda!

YEEAAAWWW  BABBBBYYYY!...

 

lockerridge

SEPTEMBER 5, 2008 WAX.. IT ISN'T JUST FOR BIRTHDAY CANDLES AND HONEY BEES ANYMORE!

WAX IS NOT JUST FOR HONEY BEES AND BIRTHDAY CANDLES ANYMORE!

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless hair removal even in those most hidden of places a lady never speaks of..

There was the double edged mans razor in the beginning... then the The Epilady electric pull them out by the roots razors.... scissors made a huge comeback !

Then memories faded and they came out with Lady Shick Razors, and then the miracle of Nair the liquid hair dissolver that worked for a whole year they said at first.. then women began to suspect they had been had when the hair grew back twice as fast and thicker than ever....

NOW FOR ALL OF YOU WOMEN OUT THERE WHO SAY, BODY HAIR IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED ENTRANCE OUT OF THEIR SKIN ...
TECHNOLOGY HAS PRODUCED FROM ITS LABORATORIES THE " COLD WAX KIT"!!!!

For do it your self at home Wax Removal just like the big salons ... at a fraction of the cost!

BELOW IS THE EXPERIENCE OF ONE SUCH WOMAN WHO WAS COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED WITH NEW PRODUCTS THAT CAME ON THE MARKET AND BOUGHT A KIT AND TOOK IT HOME.. BUT PUT IT IN THE MEDICINE CABINET FOR THE TIME BEING ... UNTIL SHE COULD REALLY RELAX AND DO IT RIGHT!

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, eat dinner, and play
with the dog.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind or the next few hours:

"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet, and give it a go?"

It was one of thosecold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips
together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press
them to your leg (or wherever else you have unwanted hair) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(NOTE TO SELF.. STOP FIGURING.. YOU ARE NOT EQUIPPED FOR SUCH HEAVY DUTY THOUGHT!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other .. stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in........ ( I am so lame)

I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("well it said cold wax, but it said to warm it up with my hands.. this is more better .. right?) I lay the strip across my thigh. Held the skin around it ......... tight and ......... pulled..... Success... It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling I have ever felt .. but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, Wonder Woman, and Xena all rolled into one mean, lean... fighter of all wayward
body
hair! I am the queen of this new wax stuff.. I can make money selling how to phamplets at the walmarts all over the world.. I will be a celebrity! And then.....

With my next wax strip I moved north.
for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I boldly
drop
my undies and place one foot on the toilet lid.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of
my
bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to
the inside of my ha-hoo cheek ( it was a long strip, okay... sheesh!)

The moment of truth is here.. I am goddess of babies butt smooth skin .. so I inhale deeply... brace myself ....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?? I COULD NOT HELP THE SCREAM WHICH ESCAPED MY THROAT, WITH A HOWL A BLOOD HOUND, WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIS FOOD BOWL FOR!

I'm Blind!!! Blinded
from the endless sharp pain!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF WOMAN.. THINK! WHAT WOULD SHE-RA DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS? HA! SHE-RA IS PROBABLY 10 YEARS OLD AND NEVER SEEN A BLACK ARMPIT HAIR!

Vision returns slowly.... to my absolute chagrin, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.

CRAP!......... BE QUIET.. I COULD HAVE TYPED THE REAL WORDS I SAID !

BE BRAVE LITTLE GRASSHOPPER..

So I heaved another deep breath and......
RIPP! !!!!!!!!!!!

Everything is spinning and spotted. Look at the pretty birdies.. I think I might have had a near death experience.... What would She-ra do.... Too hell with She - ra.. She-ra is a wuss.. compared to my courage and brave hair removing battles...

After a while .. when my eyes had lost that burning sensation of needing to sneeze and my ears were not keeping a steady disco beat...

I wanted to see my trophy .... The wax covered strip, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I wanted to revel in the
glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip... Hey now this just can't be right... There's
no
hair on it!

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down,...foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
hair, kind of stretched looking but still attached..

MY HEAD IS BEGINNING TO FEEL SLIGHTLY FEVERISH.. AND I AM THINKING OF VIOLENT WAYS TO MAKE FALSE ADVERTISERS OF SUCH INSTRUMENTS OF TORTURE, SEEM SO INNOCENT AND EASY.. PAY FOR THEIR LYING CONNIVING GREEDY NASTY BLACK SOULS!

I touch.

OMG! I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING DOWN THERE!

Then I heave a sign of relief when I realize I am touching wax, and sadly.. my hair is still attached to my body.. I think...

so I make BIG MISTAKE NO. 2...

I decided I needed to get the hand mirror and stand over it and see exactly what I was dealing with here.. could I actually do this myself or did I need to dial 911.... GOD PLEASE NOT 911!

Then I make the next BIG MISTAKE NO. 3

...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet lid....

I put my foot on to the floor.....

SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEALED SHUT! I HAVE SEALED MY HA-HOO SHUT! IT IS SEALED SHUT! HELP ME SHE-RA!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "OMG! What did I eat for dinner? OH PLEASE!... I simply can't deal with an

"urge to eliminate" right now!

Even She - ra caught some slack every once in a while.. don't think about it .. or it will happen..

slow deep breaths and since I have sealed my doom trying to get to the hand mirror.. I snatched it up, placed it on the floor stepped over it , and did the most stupid thing I have ever done in my entire life..

BIG MISTAKE NO. 5

I opened my eyes and looked.. ..................................... After the howling hysterics quit and I was just sobbing continuosly in a sound, akin to the chugging of the coffee maker when it ends its pumping cycle.. I think I even heard a harsh hissing at one point.... ..........

I began to think semi rationally for a second or two..

She-ra.. you need to leave now.. you have not been very helpful and if I have to look at your sickening hairless perfection any more.. I might commit cartoon erasure and what would He-Man do with the kids..

What can I do to melt the wax?

MAJOR MISTAKE NO. 4

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax
should
melt and I can gently wipe it off!!! I AM BRILLIANT!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment After several minutes of a fight with my brain telling my butt to sit down... ( it is smarter than my brain) my brain wins and ..... I sit ..... down....

Then I realize what has happened by my sitting still.....

I begin to laugh a little shrilly, nothing in this world can compare to having your hoo and ha glued shut......

except having them glued shut to the bottom of your bathtub...

WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD THINK "COLD" WAX CAN'T BE MELTED BY HEAT?

ALL IT DOES IS MAKE IT REALLY, REALLY , REALLY STICKY! LIKE GLUE!... ARGH!!

SHE-RA WOULD HAVE KNOWN ... WOULDN'T SHE?........ I THINK I AM REALLY BEGINNING TO HATE SHE-RA.... SMART ALEC SUPER WOMAN!

The was had gotten really sticky and glued my hoo and ha regions to the tub... with a cement like permanence.
.................. more racking sobs are heard ...... they must have been coming from me... who knew by this point.. I was no longer on this planet..

I had drifted into my happy place deep in my brain.. with snow cones and lovely cool razor blades.. and that wonderful lady shaving gel.. that fights razor rash.... AH HEAVEN!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few monthS ago
to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter - when I had finished the how and the why of it all.. .... .... I caught my breath and said ,"So, my hoo and my ha are both glued together to the bottom of the tub!" " Any wonderfully brillant ideas as to how I might end this horror movie and put it all in the past?''

There is a pause..........

In a somewhat strangled sounding voice she gives me the bad news.. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal, but, she is a true friend and she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo and ha, here?"

The she just can't hold it back any longer and her laughter rings so loud in my ear I almost throw the phone in the toliet..

Her only advice was to look on the side of the box, and call the help number on it.... which took all of 5 minutes to get out fully because she was almost crying with laughter...

I informed her that it would be another hot day with my butt stuck to a tub before I became headline news that phone call would have gotten me.. as well as there would be no 911 call for the same reason....... unless.. well I wasn't even going to allow myself to think about that... She-ra wouldn't think about it......

So we kept brainstorming........ through various and sundry solutions..... she even begged to come over and help...... and bring her video camera..... for lawsuit purposes she said...

all the while I am trying to scrape the wax off with a
razor .

By this time I am really getting worried that I can't feel anything from the hoo part of my anataomy..

and the ha part is getting kind of raw feeling from all the water and twisting and turning I am doing trying to free up my water works... and other vital things...

By now my brain is not working.......... dignity has taken a major hike...... and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to have to be hospitalized to have my hoo's and ha's remodeled...

and a major rework on my cognitive thought processes..

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

My friend suggests that at this point I should actually read the entire directions on the little pamplet they have included in the kit.... well no one ever reads those things.. they look at the pictures... She - ra probably looks at the pictures and doesn't read the pamplet.. and she is a super type woman person... who am I to think I can do it better?

I rub some on.................

OH MYGOD!!!!!!!

If the scream didn't wake up the neighbors, and they called in 911..... I might just get out of this with only my friend knowing what I had gotten myself into... and if she says anything I will just say she is a big fat fibber.... this could still have a happy ending...

CAUSE IT WAS WORKING!!! IMAGINE THAT .... SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY WORKED CAME FROM THAT BOX WITH THE PICTURE DIRECTIONS THAT ONLY A CHILD COULD UNDERSTAND!
It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend, who has the hiccups now, from laughing and then the major screaming in her ear... and she hangs
up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stand there looking at myself in the mirror above the sink.. ... I hardly recognize the woman standing there.. .... no longer carefree from lifes woes....

Then I think ...... whould She-ra let this defeat her mission to be hairfree.... NO!......... She-ra would kick some hair butt!!!

So I opened the cabinet ... got my Bic Lady Shaver and the can of ladies gel shaving cream for that soft smooth and rash free skin .......

and since I was numb in the hoo and ha region.... ... and knew that it was probably not going to be that way for about a week... I shaved and shaved and shaved... I stopped at my eyebrows.... didn't want to seem like I had an episode of insanity or anything... sigh...

Hummm ....all in all, the evening was a success. I had finished what I had started.... no 911 calls to be rescued...... no permanent scaring.. ( I don't think) and I was not bleeding from any where I could see... yep! I'm feeling pretty good about things... She - ra would have been proud!

I think next week I am going to try that new GO PLATNUM BLONDE AT HOME KIT...... I am smart enough to read those pictures...... probably......

heheheheheehehee! don't cha just love it ... thanks KC.. I added to a little bit and took away a little bit.. to make it my own ...... thanks for letting me steal it from you..

lockerridge