JANUARY 2, 2009 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED SIX ... THE LOCKERRIDGE 2008 WRAP UP OF LIFE EVENTS, LESSONS LEARNED, AND FUTURE GOALS

JANUARY 2, 2009

UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED SIX THE LOCKERRIDGE 2008 WRAP UP OF LIFE EVENTS,  LESSONS LEARNED, AND FUTURE GOALS Ladyharley's Challenge Happy 2009 everyone! Here's your 1st challenge of the year.Write a "Dear Friends & Family" letter to recap YOUR 2008... The challenge though is to make it about the good things... & To write it in story or poem format. (NON-FICTION, please.) If it helps, use a theme. A theme type is only a suggestion, not a requirement in this challenge. Also, if you feel the need to share about something adverse... try to put a positive spin on it
THE LOCKERRIDGE 2008 WRAP UP OF LIFE EVENTS, LESSONS LEARNED AND FUTURE GOALS It is truly amazing, but I have little trouble putting a positive spin on the year of 2008, not because it was not a year of much turmoil and upheaval worldwide.. but because it was a year that I did not have an event which turned my world upside down.  Changes which shock the emotions and permanently change my way of daily life, and ultimately my personality or outlook on life in general. I did not lose a close friend or family member in the year 2008. I did not have to give up on a business or project, because it was just not something I could handle by myself. I did not have to worry about having a roof over my head and food to eat. I did not have any one treat me in a way that altered my view of human kind in general, all those illusions of people being basically unselfish and loving me if I loved them, were gone many years ago.. so no alterations there.. the lessons learned were not even in use very much this year. Health wise, I only had two bouts of flu in 2008. Nothing else in my health to worry me or anyone else in my friends and family to speak of. ( knock on wood) I have had several epiphanies though... Whew! I learned that some people are very weak people. I learned that I do not have to take on responsibility for something which is not my problem. In other words.. don't allow others problems to be dumped into my lap for me to fix for them. Especially if the person with the problem, is doing nothing to help with the fixing. An enabler of lack of someones own personal responsibility, and self respect ( lazy butts) , I will no longer be!   I learned that if I want something done.. do it myself.. waiting on someone else to do it, even if they said they would,  is an act in futility. If I want it done.. then I must be the one to get it done. I don't throw that responsibility on anyone elses' shoulders. If it is my problem,  then I must be at least a small part of the solution. I learned this by the dumping problems in my lap epiphany.. I finally got off my ever enlarging duff, and got busy remodeling my Moms' house so I can move into it. I almost waited too late for this to get off the ground. As it is I think the mobile home I am living in at the moment, will have to become a rent income for me instead of simply selling it. No more mortgage money for real houses, let alone a mobile home.. sigh.. live and learn. In the year 2008 I learned that just because someone is blood related to you.. and they do love you.. does not mean they necessarily want to be around you. Nor does this mean they will help you in the event you might need help. I do not have many family members left which live near me, and the ones who do... Well let us just say... I learned sometimes people just are not compatible, even if they are related. No fighting, or ill feelings. Just the knowledge that we are very very different in our way of living, and the two shall not twain.. ever! I learned that the young people we have in this generation, the ones who have graduated high school and up to their mid twenties are still just as dumb as we were when we were that age. This knowledge came to me by way of,  a 17 year old unmarried female cousin, who is  6 months pregnant. The reason she gives for this happening is, the babies father,  just would not let her alone so she could go to sleep... So the result of her needing rest... Is a baby.  She also is refusing to marry the babies father because she does not LOVE him.  "HELLO!".. you had sex with the guy.. and you did not love him????? You just wanted him to leave you alone so you could sleep, and gave in? MY Daddy is rolling over in his grave about now!
She has moved back in with her Dad and he is taking care of everything for them.
 I can hardly contain my joy over this maturity shown by our next generation. Through this bit of knowledge and wisdom gained, served to reinforce my belief  that evolution is garbage on a paper plate.. no way is the human race evolving into something better.  Parents need to get into some kind of educational involvement with their kids again, and the most important thing. Cancel all sex education courses in our schools. They are teaching girls that giving in to a boy is okay if they are tired and just want to go to sleep, and that even if Dad can't take care of them and their child.. Uncle Sam is always there to lend a hand... Of course doing this basically gives the government control over how you are raising your child and if a social worker says your not doing very good, they just take the child away,
 and give it to foster parents who know better how to do that than the biological parents do.  Foster parenting is a noble thing to do, for any person with that much love to give freely to kids, but as with anything, that is not always the case, and the children are the ones who suffer the system corruption.
But once again with a positive outlook on things, I will have a new baby to hug and cuddle and snuggle in around three months time, and that is a gooood thing!
 Nothing makes you feel more alive and capable of moving mountains, than when you hold a new born baby.. nothing! I have also had an epiphany lately of needing to recognize the things which surround me in my life. Things that have made it possible for so many other things to happen world wide that are good things.. miracles actually. The things which reaffirm that mankind is always working, always striving, always pushing the edge of our known existence to improve it. Some of them are included here, on this list of things I need to notice and not take for granted... Like the fact that I am able to go to a store and buy strawberries and tomatoes in January... no small feat that! The miracle of the telephone, and the communications that we take for granted, that allow communication with the other side of the world, in a mere second of time. My frost free refrigerator, my self cleaning oven.. my Maytag washing machine and SmartSense dryer and most of all.. my microwave. . The moving pictures and sound on my television set which are only waves of energy in the air till a machine made by another human being enables them to be caught and translated into the movie I am watching.
The cell phone, I have never known this much enabling in my entire life. I have no fear of taking off in my vehicle alone, for most anywhere I feel like going. The cell phone puts my mind at ease about most any problem I could face.. with help just a phone call away. The machines which only count the numbers one and zero, this machine called a computer, I am using at this moment, to communicate with a person hundreds if not thousands of miles from me.. in a matter of seconds. The machines that they have which allow a premature baby to live and grow and thrive outside its mothers womb..  Heart transplants, cornea transplants, liver transplants, kidney transplants...  All are miracles which God has given us through the intelligence of other human beings with a desire and a drive to make things better.  And I do not even think about them. I don't give thanks for them. I just pass over them if they do not apply to my life at the moment.  It seems mostly instead of seeing the blessings,
I just gripe cause they can't cure the common cold.  It is something in me that is selfish behavior, and I need to change that... So never considering the genius and blessing, in the intelligence it took to send a person to the moon and receive them back unharmed, is something which I am going to try to change about myself in the year 2009. I also have decided that I am over the age when gaining decent employment is easy... or at least it is harder than at age 25 lets say, so I need a skill that would be of great demand right now. This decided.. I am going to learn to speak Spanish this year of 2009.
Sounds easy when you say it huh? lol.. Via Con Dios,
Mi Amigos
 Adios!  For More Stories and Challenges Use The Link Below
UNITED FRIENDS WRITERS GROUP
lockerridge

DECEMBER 31, 2008 HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS!

DECEMBER 31, 2008   HAPPY NEW YEAR
 MY FRIENDS!

HERE'S TO THE COMING NEW YEAR!
MAY IT BE FULL OF JOY AND PROSPERITY AND EMPTY OF PAIN AND LACK...
 MAY ALL YOUR LOVED ONES BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, WELL FED, AND WARM...
ALL OF YOUR DAYS
FULL OF PRODUCTIVITY
 AND
YOUR NIGHTS FILLED
 WITH FAMILY, LOVE AND SECURITY..

WELCOME 2009!

THE YEAR OF
THE LORD COMING FIRST
 IN ALL OUR DECISIONS TO BE MADE
BRINGING
 STRENGTH AND STABILITY
 BACK TO

 THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!



hiccup... excuse me!
heheheheeeeee
YYYYEEEEHHHAAAWWW BABBY!


lockerridge

DECEMBER 24, 2008 I HAVE BEATEN THE GREMLINS ! YEEEHAAAWWWW! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

DECEMBER 24, 2008
I HAVE BEATEN
 THE GREMLINS !


YEEEHAAAWWWW!
 IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!
If you read my December 17th blog about the medical clinic and their statements to me about a balance I did not owe ... and sympathized with me.. and had similar experiences yourself..
ALL IS NOT LOST MY FRIENDS!!
I am here to tell you all is not lost in this world of computers and our money!
Yeeehaaawww!!
I received this email this morning from the clinic that was trying to get more money from me from a visit I made back in February of this  year.. and I must say..

 IT IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE MY FRIENDS!!
IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED I AM NOT AN IDIOT OR A DEADBEAT.. IT CONTAINS THE WORLDS....
 " YOU ARE CORRECT!" 
"THEY HAVE NEGLECTED"   " .....
 " YOU DO NOT OWE THIS AMOUNT"....

YEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAWWWWW!

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY!!!!
 READ THESE WORDS MY FRIENDS..
YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN IN YOUR LIFETIME!...

Terri,

 Thank you for your response to the statement.  You are correct you do not owe this amount.  It appears when your payment was added to the computer they neglected to enter the discount adjustment of 14.20 that you were given as a courtesy for payment at the time of visit.  I apologize on behalf of the clinic for any problem this may have caused you. Merry Christmas.

   Kristy Keck
 Complete Medical Solutions
 xxx-xxx-xxxx, ext. xx

THIS IS A MOMENTOUS DAY IN THE DAYS OF MAN AND WOMAN KIND!!
GET OUT THE FOLGERS SPECIAL ROAST..
 AND TOAST THIS VICTORY OF YOUR VERY OWN... LOCKERRIDGE~!!!!!

YEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHAAAAAWWWWW  BABBBBBYYY! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS
 AND
MAY YOU HAVE
 A HAPPY
 AND
 " YOU DO NOT OWE"
NEW YEAR!!

        

lockerridge

DECEMBER 23, 2008 THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW!

DECEMBER 23, 2008 
THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW!

Since so many people are traveling across the country in the USA, to celebrate Christmas Holidays with family and friends.. I thought now would be good time for me to post this list of laws that might pertain to the state you are visiting. You wouldn't want to end up spending Christmas Day with Lester the Animal Molester in the cross bar motel... No need to thank me.. it is all for my friends dontcha know.. NOTHING IS TOO GOOD FOR "MY" FRIENDS.. ( well the jury is still out on this one about Wile..)

SILLY LAWS
Arkansas     * The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. Canada     * In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses. California     * In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.   
* In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.   
* It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.   
* In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. 
  * In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Colorado     * In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. Connecticut     * In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.  
 * In Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. England     * In the England it is illegal to sell most goods on a sunday,  It is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else one might want to buy on a Sunday! Florida     * In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Georgia     * It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia. Idaho     * Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.    * In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view." Illinois     * It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.  
 * Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.  
 * In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Indiana     * Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
   * In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic. Iowa     * Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.  
 * In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted." Kansas     * Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights. 
  * No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas. Kentucky     * Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.  
 * In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.   
* A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses." Massachusetts     * There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April. 
  * It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines. Michigan     * In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
   * In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. 
  * In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. Missouri     * Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.  
 * In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. New Hampshire     * New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe. New Mexico     * In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face). New York     * In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks when a concert is on. 
  * In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. Ohio     * In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.   
* In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.  
 * In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. Oklahoma     * In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer. 
  * Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window. Pennsylvania     * The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.  
 * In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's Anti-Automobile society set up some "rules of the road."
In effect, they said:
1. "Automobiles traveling on country roads at night must send up a rocket every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."   
     2. "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery."  
  3. "In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."  
 * In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue." Tennessee     * In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.  
 * In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Texas     * It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. 
  * Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession. Utah     * It is against the law to fish from horseback. Virginia     * Virginia law forbids bathtubs in the house; tubs must be kept in the yard. Washington     * In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. 
  * It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.    West Virginia     * In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.


TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS ...
 THIS IS MY MOST FERVENT WISH FOR YOU ALL..
THAT THE LORD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WITH A SAFE
 AND

graphics for my blog provided by glitter-graphics.com



lockerridge    

DECEMBER 22, 2008 UNITED FRIEND CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED THREE.... DEAR SANTA..

DECEMBER 22, 2008 UNITED FRIEND CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED THREE....
DEAR SANTA.. Ladyharley's Challenge It's almost that time... Have you written YOUR letter to Santa yet? The challenge is to write a letter to a Santa (or Father Christmas or whomever your childhood "Santa persona" was)... & write it in a child's point of view.... HOWEVER... for the gifts YOU would like THIS Christmas. Make it fun. Feel free to include pictures. Dear Santa, Hi! Its just me again! How are you doing Santa? Did you finally get Mrs. Santa to give you some real food and get off that Atkins diet thing you were on? She did have a point.. she got real upset when they had to use the jaws of life to get you out of the sleigh last year when you got home from giving out your toys and eating all that stuff that is not real healthy for you to eat. Well anyway, I don't know how good I have been this year.. about usual good I suppose.. I didn't change much this year and I always got in on your list .. so I guess I am good to go one more time.. it was kind of iffy there when I lost Dad's cell phone and we never did find it.. I dunno where it went.. I was just using it to take pictures of the toilet WATER GOING DOWN THE DRAIN, when I flushed it.. and I laid it down somewhere, next thing I know, when the plumber came over cause the toilet backed up and put some really nasty stuff all in the bathroom floor... Dad was talking to him.. and then he slapped his head and said." This is sad.. but I really should have expected it.. she was wondering how fish breath under water and tried it herself last week, do you know anyone who would like to buy a used aquarium.. and some dead fish?" Huh.. wonder if they were talking about me? hehehee.. I dunno I am getting a present from my gamma Irene early this Christmas and she said it will last until next Christmas! She is coming to live with us for a whole year! Yeah! My Mom has mentioned two things she would like to have this year and my Dad has a lot of them.. and I can't remember them all.. but Mom wants a softball and some duct tape.. so she can tape the ball over Daddy's mouth when he and grandma Irene start to shout at each other.. and Daddy wants a roll of duct tape and some ear plugs.. for when Grandma Irene.. starts in on him about how he doesn't do stuff right.. I think they are kind of silly gifts to want, but that is what they said.. sigh.. I would like for me this year one real big thing.. real big.. really really big.. I would like for this year to be my best year yet! I want to learn something wonderful and be able to do something with that learning that will make me some money.. so I can start saving up for whatever I might need in the future.. I also would like a St. Christopher medal and a gold chain to put it on. And I want one more thing Santa.. I would like to have a new house dog. You know how my best dog friend.. well he got old last January and he had to go and live with God and wait for me to get there.. and I have one dog outside and she is my good friend.. but I sure would like to have a friend who is little and snugly and loves me best again.. so maybe you might could find me another Westie like my Mike dog.. well he might look a lot like him.. but I know it won't be Mike.. but that is okay.. I will see him again. .. I know that for sure. Well I am out of things to talk about.. so bye.. oh yeah.. Mom said we won't leave out cookies this year.. she said rice cakes would be better for you.. and green tea instead of milk.. Hey.. don't look at me.. she is the one who buys the groceries.. and watches Dr. Phil.. I am just along for the chewing gum they give kids at the bank.. all my love terri FOR MORE CHALLENGES AND STORIES CLICK THIS LINK UNITED FRIENDS WRITERS GROUP

lockerridge

DECEMBER 21, 2008 ATTACK OF THE EVIL MUTANT NINJA SQUIRREL OF DEATH

DECEMBER 21, 2008  ATTACK  OF THE
 EVIL MUTANT NINJA SQUIRREL OF DEATH

The following is told as a true story by a fireman in a city in America. I have taken the liberty of editing it somewhat to my own way of telling a story.. but the basic story has remained intact and not changed at all by my editing.. I think you are going to enjoy this little story of a fireman who met the devil in the body of a common red squirrel one sunny afternoon in the suburbs.

ATTACK  OF THE EVIL MUTANT NINJA SQUIRREL OF DEATH I have a love in my life.. it is my motorcycle.. its a Harley.. need I say more?I enjoy cruising around the neighborhoods ... just me and my Harley... Enjoying the flowers and little animals that bark, meow, and hunt for nuts or acorns to eat.. I do this on a regular basis.. especially in the summer time.. until.. I was faced with the evilness that lurks within the hearts of the common red squirrel.. Cruising down a street in my neighborhood one fine sunny afternoon, I met a really slow moving car with a couple little ole ladies inside it probably talking about knitting or something like that.. As I passed this oncoming car, a brown, furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals and I really hate it on a motorcycle ( it can be extremely messy) but a squirrel should pose no danger.  ANIMAL LOVERS... NEVER FEAR.. . Squirrels, I discovered, possess strange abnormal evil powers of ninja cunning and skill.. and this one happened to be really pissed off.. at ME!! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Harley with "Die Human Scum" clearly written in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened and at the last possible second, he screamed and le apt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Time to Die Human Scum!" The leap was nothing short of impossible for a human.. let alone a squirrel! He shot straight up, flew over my windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly I knew what it feels like to be attacked by an animal with no fear of retribution from the human it was completely shredding with teeth and claws.. Snarling, hissing and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy ... determined to bring me down .. . As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves and jeans this was completely out of the question .. it had to stop.. and I mean now it had to stop! Now close your eyes and picture this if you can.. Picture a large man on a very large bike, dressed in jeans, aT-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street ... engaged in the  fight of his life ... with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed for him with my left hand. Missed!I grabbed again..Missed again..I grabbed further..Aha! Got his tail.. and.. With all my strength, I flung the evil demon from my chest and  off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I was flung back hard from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristine kept yards and gone on about his business.. gathering nuts and making a home with a girl squirrel..  and I could have headed home, and never said a word to anyone about the experience.. . No one would have been the wiser. But folks this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even your run of the mill pissed off squirrel .This was......
 TERRORIST EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow, and I have never figured out how he managed it,  he had caught my gloved finger with one of his little paws....Not only had he not been flung off into a yard.. the power of the recoil from the fling had swung him around and with amazing force of impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and once again with great passion proceeded to chew my shirt and then skin into a shredded mess!
He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation had become even worse than before .. I started to lose all thought processes except getting loose from this demon spawn of a rodent with a long bushy tail.  Especially since the combination of the force of the throw, only having the throttle hand on the handlebars and my jerking back, fighting Evil Ninja Squirrel.. forced  a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. When your driving a Harley.. you should know this about twisting the throttle handle at any time.. any time at all.. it results in ... TORQUE!  The engine screamed "ALLLRIGHT!"  and the front wheel left the pavement. This action caused the squirrel to scream.. in major squirrel pissed offedness, and me to scream in.. uh.. ... well, I just plain screamed. Once again close your eyes and picture this picture if you can. Large man on a large bike, riding a wheelie, at 50 mph.. and accelerating.. ,dressed in jeans, a bloody squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove,  with a Evil Mutant Ninja of all Demonic squirrels attacking him on his back and neck.. just anywhere it could get a tooth or claw to rip something .. . The man and the squirrel are both screaming very, very loudly. When the bike accelerated and the wheelie began its accent.. I had to try to figure out how to get my hand on the brake and apply it.. but I had a problem with that ..  I could not figure out how to release the throttle... my brain was just simply overloaded. My brain allowed me to mash on the back brake somewhat.. but with the other hand still giving it gas.. it had little effect on the spectacular wheelie I was performing..  About this time the squirrel decided that I was not taking him seriously enough.. and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity.Which had the effect of making the squirrel figure he was winning and he increased the hissing and biting quality to the maximum I am sure in allowable by any Mutant Ninja Squirrel Attack Training.  Since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment, the RPMs on the bike maxed out, and Saints be Praised.. the front wheel started to drop back down to the pavement . Once again close your eyes and picture this if you can. . Large man on a big bike, dressed in jeans, wearing a bloody squirrel destroyed t shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring down a residential street , still on one wheel, at approximately 80 mph by now..  with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed face mask of his helmet.Screaming hoarsely ... and very loudly! Finally my basic survival instincts kicked in and I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could! Aha! Take that you evil little sack of..  .. breathing hard and wiping squirrel spit from my eyes.. And this should end this tale of rodent evilness.. but .. .Last time.. close your eyes and picture this if you can.. New Scene.. same street.. same suburban neighborhood. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street, and since it is such a nice day you roll your windows down.You begin doing the paperwork you pulled off and parked to do when..  Suddenly... A large man on a huge Harley, dressed in jeans, the collar left on a tshirt and the rest is flapping in the breeze,  wearing only one leather glove, riding a wheelie at almost 80mph, screaming hoarsely something that sounds like a foreign language..    comes roaring past your cop car, and with all his strength throws a live squirrel who had been possessed by the devil into your window. I could hear someone screaming..
and I don't think it was me!




lockerridge

DECEMBER 17, 2008 PAYMENT IN FULL IS EXPECTED AT THE TIME OF TREATMENT.. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE .. PAY ME NOW!!!

DECEMBER 17, 2008   PAYMENT IN FULL IS EXPECTED AT THE TIME OF TREATMENT...
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE ..
 PAY ME NOW!!!


There is something oh so very wrong with the medical clinics in my area. Last year on Feb. 1, 2008 I had the worst case of the flu I have had in years! I mean.. it took me two months to get over that one dosing of it and I went to the clinic twice.. to see the Nurse Practitioner of course. No self respecting doctor worth his salt has the time to see the hordes of people who want his type of doctoring these days. The actual healers who were born to the profession are few and far between these days I am sad to say. I don't know what happened to my area all of a sudden like. One year I had this old family doctor who had been our doctor since I was not even in the world yet.. and then he retired.. and his office was bought by the bigger clinic that was next to one of the big hospitals in the big city a few miles away. All of a sudden.. it was like we had been ripping ole doc off or something. The files he kept on us were hopeless we were told.. it all had to be done in a different way.. and all this paper and information must be given over before we were considered for treatment.. even if we had 105 temperature and could not hold the pen.. IT HAD TO BE DONE FIRST! ...
...sigh..
 Mainly.. they wanted your insurance card or medicare card.. the rest could wait .. maybe..   Doc was a country boy.. he had a medical degree.. he was born and educated as close to home as possible.. and then he came back home to take care of his town. He was a cold, stomach ache, 3 stitches in a finger or a forehead, and head lice doctor you know.. if you had something serious enough that you went to see him twice, and had to go back the third time.. he made you an appointment with a specialist and did not try to treat you any longer. He never admitted anyone to the hospital.. if he felt they needed to go .. he got them a specialist for their particular ailment.. and they got well. Well by golly when that man finally gave it up.. the entire world of medicine seemed to give up its last gasp for our little town.. we started having a series of doctors fresh from med school who had been given money for education in return for basically indenturing themselves to these big clinics for up to 5 years or more. They had to come to the small towns and work off their loans in the clinics.. no matter if they spoke English well enough to make us understand that they just wanted us to to go away basically!...
..sigh..
 Every time I went to the doctor or took someone .. there was a new doctor and a new receptionist and nurse to greet and meet each time for several years.. Then the big clinic doctors got tired of the same things their long time patients got tired of quick.. the big clinics wanted them to treat the people for everything from mental illness to preventive checkups.... and they were in no way in any kind of control of how much to charge the people who had been their patients for basically all their lives. And what was so bad.. is that they would come down to the clinics and chew the doctors out right in front of the patients in a full waiting room! Believe it.. I have seen it with my own eyes.. this one lady had several patients who needed their blood sugar levels checked at least twice a week.. but the old darlin's didn't have the money for the supplies.. so she would have them walk to the clinic a couple times a week and she would check their sugar for them for a couple of dollars.. OH NO,  They fired that lady.. and I and many other people had to bear witness to them doing it.. it was shameful!...
..sigh...
That act broke the clinic up badly. Most of their really good long term doctors left our area.. they went all over the USA.. the only one left to me is my gyn doctor.. in private practice.. but he still must deal with the big clinic to get testing and hospital space and operating rooms.. He really had to swallow a big mouthful of HMO pootea to remain with his patients whom he really cared about
....sigh...
Then after the doctors left and they decided the indentured servant doctors were not what could operate in our small communities.. we then received the Nurse Practitioners.. who for all intents and purposes are really pretty tuned in and educated to taking care of sore throats, scraped knees, head lice, and the odd stitch.. but that is not what these clinics want from them. They are in contact with a doctor at the main clinic for each patient they see. It is entered into the computer.. and before the patient leaves the office.. they concur with the NP on their treatment. They can't write a prescription themselves.. but the consulting doctor when he concurs has given the go ahead to call it into a pharmacy using his license number. This would work great if the clinics would not press them to treat EVERYTHING
...sigh...
 If you go in with pink eye.. before you leave they have set you up for a pap smear, a mammogram, and a cholesterol screening.. and usually you get something for the pink eye in there somewhere.. but sad to say.. sometimes they forget in the push to get all your WELL CARE ... which in my opinion.. is something we could all do without.. Go to the doctor when your sick.. Go to the dentist when your tooth hurts..I do my own breast self exams.. I do not need to have my breast mashed and imaged, so that they can scare the bejezzits out of me with a potential problem that turns out to be a shadow on their film.. No thank you! No cholesterol screenings.. no jacking with my blood pressure with all these medicines to get it just right.. for my statistical size.. I am not a statistic.. I am me.. and waiting in a waiting room for 3 hours will have a tendency to make any ones blood pressure shoot up a bit..
 sigh..
 I don't believe in root canals.. pull it out if it offends you.. hell with all that drilling and cleaning and well basically bull frocky.. when your gona be in dentures when you get old.. everyone is.. no matter if you had a root canal that took 3 appointments to get done and 1500 dollars worth of the dentists education and tools.. not to mention all those 15 women they have working for them salaries to pay... . whom most of the time when I sit and wait to go in.. mostly talk to their kids on the phone doing their homework over the phone
...sigh....
I do not understand the need to know how much money I make a year and where I work if I pay in cash either.. the questionnaires are just too much like making a purchase at Radio Shack.. only place I know of that won't make the sale without a phone number from you..
 sigh..
What brings this subject to rear its ugly pimply head at this particular time in my life.. is when I had the flu last year .. on Feb. 1, 2008.. I went to the clinic.. every wall in that place had a huge sign.. with the words..
YOU ARE EXPECTED TO MAKE PAYMENT IN FULL FOR ANY TREATMENT YOU RECEIVE BEFORE YOU LEAVE TODAY.. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR BILL.. NOT YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY.. FILING YOUR INSURANCE or  MEDICARE CLAIM FOR YOU IS A COURTESY TO YOU FROM US.
(bite me)
This of course makes most people feel even worse than they already do.. the fear starts to settle in on you in the waiting room.. What does it cost to get your boob smashed and your temperature taken these days? And then how much is the pill peddler over across the street gona hit me for.. ( I have never gotten out of a pharmacy for less than a hundred dollars spent in years)  Then you have the walk in clinics which make you pay them before you even see the doctor.. then after you go back and get told you need your boobs smashed.. your blood drained and for some reason they are manic about my urine.. (strange profession) they give you a sheet of paper with all these numbers on it with little boxes next to them they have checked off for the Q-tips and tongue depressor they used on you.. and you pay that with another check before you can leave.. I have always wanted to bolt out the door screaming..
"STAY LOW TO THE GROUND KID.. DOC AND WYATT ARE MEETING US OUT BACK WITH THE HORSES! YOU STILL GOT YOUR CHECK LIST? WE WILL NEED IT LATER TO USE FOR CHARMIN .. IT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR ALL FOUR OF US .. AND SOME LEFT OVER!"
... but I am a wuss.. and besides that I can't afford an attorney either..just to see what would happen.. and they usually keep your drivers license till they get that final check from you.. the cowards.. smart cowards.. but cowards nevertheless...
 sigh..
Anyway.. the NP decided I was a good candidate for this sugar pill they call Tamiflu.. which is supposed to be a miracle flu killer if they give it to you within the first 48 hours.. I had plainly told the lady I had been sick for a week.. I had 103 temperature.. but that is what I got.. 100 dollars worth of nothing that was not going to work.. I drove home.. three days later I was back.. and I was not feeling as easy calm on the verge of death as earlier.. I wanted an antibiotic and I wanted something for the symptoms or I was just going to stay with them till I got well.
 I told her that..
she looked at me kind of like..
 "Gee. she must of figured out I am not a demigod"
.. and called in a prescription for the medicine I requested. Chephalexon.. the wonder drug of the 21st century! Both times I was given a statement.. which I paid by check in full before I left.. I thought it a little bit cheap.. at Fifty six dollars and eighty cents.. but I felt to bad to ask. Now mind you this was in Feb. of this year.. In June I got a statement for fourteen dollars and twenty cents.. to pay the office calls in full. sigh... I threw it in the trash. I threw the one in July in the trash.. and August.. and then September. Finally in October I broke down and pulled up a new file in Word and wrote them a polite note asking them to remove the mistaken balance from my account. I had paid in full .. I sent this letter to them in October.. and I sent a copy of that same letter in November... and here it is December.. and I decided to write a new letter to them.. being more specific and plain spoken to them about THEIR MISTAKE.. because this statement had tacked to the bottom of it.. another note which I love how they put things to you ..
 THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT AND SETTLE A DEBT OWED BY YOU.  ALL CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE USED ALSO IF IT CAN HELP US TO COME TO A SATISFACTORY END TO THIS DEBT.
sigh...
So I probably gave them some ammunition to use to try to collect this debt they say I owe.. which I say they can kiss my ass because they had a rate hike in June and want me to pay that rate instead of the one in Feb. They can kiss both cheeks of my ass.. and I hope they get chapped lips and no one will sell them any vaseline.. which there will be none left on the shelf if everyone pays them this money ... they will all be receiving a large jar of it with the next attempt to collect a debt notice they get..
sigh..
I told them that they should adhere to their own guidelines that are plastered all over the clinics walls if they want us to. And I believed I was right in the matter and if they had the balls to turn this twenty eight dollars and forty cents over to a collection agency and have it on my credit report.. that my attorney would be contacting them and he would make sure .. I got paid in full before they left the courthouse.. I also added that this was an attempt to correct a mistake on the clinics billing policies and my account.. that any and all information I had and in the future they might provide me.. would be used to that end..
sigh...

 I ain't letting em smash my boobs either.. nope..



lockerridge 

DECEMBER 15, 2008 STOLE IT FROM STILLYBEE.. WHO POSTED IT ON STEVES'..... CAUSE I THINK IT' S TOO COOL!

DECEMBER 15, 2008
  STOLE IT FROM STILLY BEE..
 WHO POSTED IT ON
 STEVE IN A BOX.....
CAUSE I THINK
 IT' S TOO COOL! SAME HOUSE.. DIFFERENT SONG lockerridge

DECEMBER 12, 2008 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED... A STIR OF BIRTH AND MYRRH

DECEMBER 12, 2008 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED... A STIR OF BIRTH AND MYRRH

Sumax's Challenge

100 Challenges!  Wow!  It is a year since this group was started and we have covered quite a few subjects here. However, I now want to steal an idea from Worth1000 and set a really sticky Challenge in celebration of reaching Challenge #100. Ready for a really challenging Challenge? I want you to write a story using one syllable words


A STIR OF BIRTH AND MYRRH

What is the stir of birth and myrrh you ask me sir? Why it is the tale of a babe born in a barn! It has been told as true. It has been told as myth. It has been told to all who are, he and she, in the land.
Yes, what I say is true! It is told that a babe was long time past, born in a barn, in this tale of a birth and myrrh. He drew wise men from far out in the land, who gave him a gift or three.
Gold was one and myrrh one more.
It is told that when this chap was born.. God said," I bless you all, who are he and she in the land, for He will be a hand out of hell to you all!" And so each year on the same day as this chap was born, all they who are he and she in the land, show great joy! For this chap, who was born in a barn, is a  Gift more than gold and myrrh!

That sir,  is the tale of the big stir of birth and myrrh.
Yes! What I say is true!
 For I have met this chap, have you?
Terri McCain/lockerridge

For more stories and poems click here United Friends Challenge Writing Group

lockerridge

DECEMBER 9, 2008 ITS A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR MY SIS... NEWGIZMO DANI!!!

DECEMBER 9, 2008
  ITS A BIRTHDAY PARTY
 FOR MY SIS...
NEWGIZMO DANI!!! TODAY IS MY SIS'S BIRTHDAY! SHE IS .. UMM.. OLD ENOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW BETTER THAN TO TELL YOU HOW OLD SHE IS!  LETS JUST SAY SHE WAS A CUTE LITTLE GIZMO NOT LONG AGO!  
DANI AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW.. I THINK THIS MAKES THE THIRD BIRTHDAY PARTY I HAVE THROWN FOR HER .. SO YOU COULD SAY.. I ORDERED YOU THIS HUGE CAKE AND GUESS WHAT? I ACTUALLY GOT IT TO THE PARTY! YEEEEHAAAWWW! SO GET A PIECE OF CAKE AND WATCH THE LITTLE BUNNY WISDOM VIDEO I MADE FOR YOU.. AFTER YOU WATCH THIS YOU WILL BE AS WISE AS THE BUNNY.. AND YOU KNOW HOW WISE THAT IS DON'T YA? LET'S JUST SAY YOU PROBABLY WILL STILL NEED TO HOLD A GROWN UPS HAND CROSSING THE STREET AFTER YOU SEE IT.. BUT HEY.. WHO EVER SAID BEING A GROWN UP IS BORING.. DOESN'T KNOW NEWGIZMO!             NOW WE HAVE PRESENTS AND YOUR VERY OWN ONE LINER FUNNY THING I FOUND SOMEWHERE..
Flash Toys at WishAFriend.com OH YEAH... I MADE YOU A BIRTHDAY CARD.. AT THE SAME PLACE I GOT THE ONE LINER THING..
Flash Toys At WishAFriend.com YOU KNOW DINGLE.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANI.
. YOUR ONE IN A MILLION..
YOUR TWO IN A TRILLION...
YOUR CUTER THAN MATT DILLION...
 AND I WAS SO BLESSED
 WHEN YOU DROPPED INTO MY LIFE
LIKE STARS BY THE ZILLION I LOVE YA SIS!
I HOPE THIS IS
 YOUR VERY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!
ALL MY LOVE..
YOUR SIS ..
TERRI lockerridge

DECEMBER 6, 2008 CHILDRENS THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SEA

 
DECEMBER 6, 2008 CHILDRENS THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SEA

1.  Kelly age 7 ... There is an animal in the sea called an octopus.. it has 8 testicles. 2.  James age 5... Oysters balls are called pearls. 3.  Wayne age 8... If you are surrounded by the sea .. your called an island.. If you aren't  surrounded by the sea.. your called incontinent. 4.  Kandy age 6... Sharks are big and mean.. and ugly.. and they have great big ugly teeth.. just like Emily Richardson.. she ain't my friend no more. 5.  Billy age 8... Whales breathe through a asshole in the top of their heads. No wait.. dolphins do that.. uh... maybe not.. uh.. let me check. 6.  Millie age 6... My uncle goes out to sea in his boat and takes pot with him. He always comes back with crabs.. lots of crabs. 7.  William age 8... When a ship goes out to sail .. it uses trade winds to make it go. Sometimes when the wind don't blow the sailors will whistle to get the sails to go.. My brother said they would have be better off to eat lots of beans. 8.  Helen age 9... I love mermaids.. they live in the sea .. I love their really shiny tails.. How do mermaids get pregnant.. like really? 9.  Amy age 9... I don't know anything about the sea.. mostly cause my brother is always screaming, and my mom and dad are screaming and my big sister just got pregnant and all she does is cry.. ..so I don't think I want to ride to the sea with them to find out stuff about the sea so I can talk about it .10.  Christopher age 7... Some fish are dangerous.. Jellyfish can sting you.. electric eels can shock you. They live on the bottom of the ocean in caves and have to plug up to chargers I think. 11.  Kevin age 6...  When you go swimming in the sea it is very cold and it makes my willy really small. 12.  Christie age 7...  Divers have to be very safe when they go diving.. they can't go diving alone.. so they have to go together.. It is called practicing safe diving...  I think maybe they have to get married first. 13.  Julie age 9...  On our holidays my mom when skiing and she said shes not going to do that any more.. cause she fell and she said that the water fired right up her big ass.. it was real funny. graphics for my blog provided by glittergraphics.com lockerridge

NOVEMBER 27, 2008 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER NINETY-SIX.... WORDS

NOVEMBER 27, 2008 UNITED FRIENDS CHALLENGE NUMBER NINETY-SIX.... WORDS         LadyHarleys Challenge The US is celebrating Thanksgiving today. So, let's all give THANKS for what we have... Take one of the Thanksgiving words below and turn it into what you're thankful for.
Words that can be used:......THANKS; CORNUCOPIA; PUMPKIN; THANKSGIVING; PILGRIMS; NOVEMBER; THANKFUL; FAMILY; and / or FEAST. (You don't have to limit yourself to just one of the words. If you're really bored, or up to the challenge... do all them all!) :o)          




My Thanksgiving Day was a blessing that has filled my cup to overflowing tonight! It brought to me a peace of mind I have not felt in quite some time.   
I am truly grateful for all this day held for me. The Lord God smiled on me and mine today, His bounty was more than enough, it brought not only more food than we could eat... it brought also, the knowledge that I did good for God when I raised the child he blessed my life with.. for he is a good person.. it brought me much peace.
I pray with all hope in my heart,  that it was the same for every home in America, and the world over today.         THANKSGIVING     T... Time with my child.
H... Hope for the future.
A... Angels who watch over us.
N... No deaths or bad illness in the families this year.
K... Kangaroos live in Australia and not in my backyard.
S... Silence .. sweet.. sweet.. silence.
G... Getting my hind end in gear and working on the house.
I... Incredible friends and fun on the net.
V... Valuable time, that I have always had.. but only just discovered.
I... Invitations to become involved in someone Else's life.
N... Nickels and dimes I can save instead of spend.
G... God still loves me..in spite of myself..  and He loves all of you  too!           For More Stories and Poems Click Here     graphics for my blog provided by
glitter graphics.com       lockerridge

NOVEMBER 24, 2008 LITTLE BIT OF FUNNY ...LITTLE BIT OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF EXCESSIVE TESTOSTERONE

NOVEMBER 24, 2008

LITTLE BIT

OF FUNNY

LITTLE BIT OF

THE SIDE EFFECTS OF EXCESSIVE TESTOSTERONE

Auntie J. is back from the deer hunt 2008! She sent me these today, and they are terrific! The first one was a commercial from the Super Bowl.. lol.. you gona love it! The second one is a comparison guide, usually for the average red blooded .. testosterone infested males among us.. but hey.. I like to bark a tire every once in a while myself! I enjoyed both of them tremendously.. and I thought I would share with ya'll.. spread the giggle so to speak... and if your in need of a male jump starter girls.. this will do it for ya! Guaranteed! This second video will not let me write the codes in to make it not auto start.. I am sorry you guys.. but sometimes it is just not something that can be done unless I spend about an hour making it happen.. and honestly.. I don't think you guys mind clicking the button off and on do you?  If you do.. then I suppose your gona be irritated with me.. but your still gona like the videos! lockerridge