MARCH 14, 2009 CRITTERS LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE WARNING! IF YOU ARE RECOVERING FROM A BOWEL DISTURBANCE.. YOU MAY WANT TO WAIT TO READ THIS ONE... OR BRING CLEAN UNDIES!

MARCH 14, 2009 CRITTERS LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE
WARNING
IF YOU ARE RECOVERING FROM A BOWEL DISTRUBANCE.. YOU MAY WANT TO WAIT TO READ THIS ONE...
OR BRING CLEAN UNDIES WITH YOU...
 

Hi y'all!
 Remember me?
I am standing in for Lockie Bunny today due to the nature of this blog. She and I talked about it and since I have the ability to climb trees and she doesn't .. we made the decision she should just stay well out of the way for this blog today!... HEY!
There she is!
 Say Hi to Lockie Bunny everyone
Even though she has doodoo crowding her liver today...   In other words I am saying Yellow Belly would be an appropriate color for her to wear if she was going to stick out anything but her ears for us to see..

     

  Hold up a minute and let me get a little fortitude in me.. thanks for leaving me the straw..   sluuuurrrrppp!   ahhhhh!   Okay here  we go! The first three photos are of a humungus gator found somewhere in the US. Wile sent me the pictures a while back and I lost them in my My Pictures folder and had to search a while.. And sure enough I was not dreaming, when I thought I had saved them..   Know why?   Cause I found them silly!
LOL..

I need to lay off the fortitude for a while I think... ahem..
The reason I have not posted them before now was that a lot of disagreement was going on as to the honesty of the pictures being actual photos and not products of Photoshopping.
 The information,  that was posted with the pictures,
had grown a bit different with each forwarding of the pictures in email.
There were many  different locations and the size of the gator grew tremendously ...

 It is not Wiles' fault that somebody else .. Lied Thier Butts Off About It..      Here is what I think is the real, as true as you can believe off the internet,  information concerning Hungry Hugo with the disturbing beady eyes..   And really big appetite..   .
     These pictures were taken in 2004 by Terri Jenkins, an officer of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife service over the Harris Neck National Wildlife Refuge about 40 miles South of Savannah, Georgia.    According to a news release, she was aboard a helicopter that was igniting prescribed fires in the refuge when the 12 to 13-foot alligator was spotted swimming with the full-grown deer in its mouth.
I will admit that this one is a bit of comic relief before we look at the next series of
critters doing things like we usually don't see them do. I have no idea what the one bird is doing with its body half way inserted into the mouth of the other one. I used it for a 360 Chicks background, and of course Dani was the one needing to have, the boat motor, screw drivers, assorted gum wrappers, and Slim Jim wrappers removed for Spring Cleaning..
Hiya Dingle!..
 I know your out there somewhere..
I can hear you crunching M&M's and smell the chocolate.. Save me some of those will ya?
My Auntie J. sent these to me. We agreed that we have never seen rattlers this big before. I know that these shots had to have been taken with a very long range telephoto lens, because even though they seem to have eyes only for each other ..   Trust me.. Mating season is not the time to try to make them famous, with an up close and personal photo shoot!
The way they can raise up that high off the ground just scares the tookus out of me.. Even though I know, they won't usually strike unless they are coiled up.
Usually... but not never..
whoa... Reminds me of a newly wed couple out house hunting.. "Oh! l love that bush over that rock pile over there! And no close neighbors that won't be eaten within a week or two!" "NO Wait! Honey slither over there and check out that view from that boulder with the hole under it.. dark and hidden ... just like we dreamed!" "Well dear this one is not as far from work, would save on commute time to the rats nests over there by the dead sumac bush...just something to keep in mind." "OH FANG, I LOVE YOU!" "NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU, MY LITTLE VENOM POCKET!" Well, it has been great seeing everyone again.. I hope to see you more often in the future.
Gotta hurry up and get these pics downloaded to the PC. Can't wait to see the shots of Bunny Lockie hitting 60Mph when she saw those rattle tattlers!
And the one of the cop giving her a ticket for speeding! That is okay though..
We all know that she will ... JUST KEEP ON...
 GOING.. AND GOING.. AND GOING.........


lockerridge

wikiHow - The How-to Manual That You Can Edit

http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page
I have just discovered this neat website! It is an online HOW TO dictionary that is written by people just like me and you.. matter of fact I have submitted a couple how to's myself on here.
Everything you can imagine is open to anyone who has an internet connection and can read. It gives great hands on type directions for most anything you would care to tackle.. from making Jello Shots ( a way to take a shot of booze without drinking it) to tearing your computer down and installing a new hard drive.. it is just fun surfing through and reading the articles people submit.. and if you find one that is incorrect in someway.. you may edit it and submit it for approval by the administrators of the site.. So far I have not found anything that needs any editing at all.. I consider it a great "find" for anyone who does a lot of searching for info on the net and gets frustrated by all the stuff you have to wade through to find what you need.

Yahoo! Babel Fish - Text Translation and Web Page Translation

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt
This is a language translator for blocks of web page content. You can add up to 150 words at a time into the translator and then from a drop down menu under it you choose how you need to have it translated .. from what language to the desired one.
Easy to use.. and since you can add so much text at one time.. it is a lot faster than any other translator I have used.. I recommend it even if it is a yahoo product..

Colors

http://www.undunsome.com/colors.html
This is a great website that contains a color cube that you run your mouse over and the entire page changes to the color of the cube you are hovering over.. if you like the color click on the cube and it will place the hex number you need for web use into the small box under the big cube of little cubes.
It is sooo easy to use and I have not found a color yet that has not been recognized anywhere I have used it.

FormatFactory - Free software downloads and reviews - CNET Download.com

http://download.cnet.com/FormatFactory/3000-2194_4-10819418.html
FormatFactory 1.70 17.61MB

FormatFactory is a multifunctional media converter. Provides functions below: all to MP4/3GP/MPG/AVI/WMV/FLV/SWF; all to MP3//WMA/MMF/AMR/OGG/M4A/WAV; all to JPG/BMP/PNG/TIF/ICO; rip DVD to video file, Rip Music CD to audio file; MP4 files support; Pod/iPhone/PSP/BlackBerry format; Source files support RMVB. FormatFactory's features: support converting all popular video,audio,picture formats to others; repair damaged video and audio file; reducing Multimedia file size; support iphone, ipod multimedia file formats; picture converting supports Zoom, Rotate/Flip, tags; DVD Ripper; supports 35 languages.

Whether you're looking to change a video format to save space or because you lack a necessary codec, the freeware FormatFactory could be the last converter you'll need. It's not perfect, but it handles 12 types of video formats, six audio types, eight image formats, and DVD/ISO conversions with speed and accuracy.

The interface is simple and utilitarian, although spiked with format-icons and a big banner announcing the program's name for no reason other than to put lipstick on the pig. The left navigation holds collapsible links to the various formats you can convert to, based on type: video, audio, image, mobile device, and ROM device. Below the massive title banner, the central pane sports the aforementioned decorative icons until you start the conversion process.

Once you've selected your files, you can change the output quality to presets or custom settings. Hit Start on the Toolbar of the main window to begin the process, which is surprisingly fast for smaller video files. It does, however, eat up much of your processor while it's running the conversion. Because there are so many file formats out there and even more codecs, it's likely that FormatFactory will fail to convert at some point. Nevertheless, FormatFactory is a solid, free, catch-all converter, with excellent tools, like batch conversions.

MARCH 13, 2009 ANNOUNCING NEW ELITE FIGHTING UNIT .. QUICK END TO WAR..

MARCH 13, 2009
 ANNOUNCING
 NEW ELITE FIGHTING UNIT ..
QUICK END TO WAR..

     

(PSST.. THIS IS A JOKE)
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the.......

  United States
 Redneck Special Forces USRSF   The new troops whom hail from Southern States such as Tennessee, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Texas.....
 will be dropped off into Iraq and given only the following facts about the terrorists they will be seeking to stop :     1. The season opened today.           2. There is no limit.           3. They taste just like chicken.          4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, Jesus or their Momma.           5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.     The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by next Friday.    Applications are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter.





YYYYEEEEHHHAAAWWWW BABBBBY!!!  

lockerridge

MARCH 11, 2009 WAKE UP AND CHEER! LOCKIE HAS BROUGHT TO YOU..... "CAPTION IT!"

MARCH 11, 2009 WAKE UP AND CHEER! LOCKIE
 HAS BROUGHT TO YOU.... "CAPTION IT!"
      
THE
FIRST SUCCESSFUL
 WEEBLES INVITRO FERTILIZATION
PREGNANCY


YOUR TURN!
    lockerridge

MARCH 8, 2009 HOW TO SPEND A RAINY SUNDAY

MARCH 8, 2009    HOW TO SPEND A RAINY SUNDAY  The following video is a how to guide. It details how to best spend your time wisely on a rainy sunday afternoon. I must warn you before you click to watch this.. it might create in you some feelings of either comfort.. or discomfort.. depending upon your mood when you watch it. Personally.. I find both to be true whenever I watch it, and I have watched it many many times. It is one of the best how to videos I have ever seen. I hope you find that I am correct in my assessment of this instructional video.. and that you can find the opportunity to put the information to good use..       A Gift From Me to All My Good Friends ... I hope you will enjoy my favorite entertainer of all time. Keith Urban... When It's Raining On Sunday... The man just does it for me.. Girls, I know, you know, what I mean.. WHOA! lockerridge

MARCH 5, 2009 I NEED A PLAN PEOPLE.. CAN YA HELP A WOMAN OUT?

MARCH 5, 2009   THE WATERMELON GROWING EVIL NEIGHBOR IS BACK IN FULLY INSANE MODE AGAIN.. NEED A PLAN PEOPLE.. CAN YA HELP A WOMAN OUT? The above photo is the image of a field of about 4 acres maximum, that is located approx. 150 ft. from my front door, across the country road that runs between the two pieces of property. A gentleman of a few more years of age than myself, has decided that this property, which is also located within spitting distance of a new housing edition of some pretty expensive homes.. would grow the most lovely watermelons in the entire world . He owns a Ford tractor and every known implement made by the Ford tractor manufacturers to attach to the back of this tractor and till up this four acres of extraordinary melon growing soil..  For two years now he has decided to start early in the year preparing this lovely spot of earth, for planting of the watermelons of excellence,  with first burning off the entire 4 acres.This of course took place on a gusty day, when we have a burn ban blaring out of every newspaper in the tri county area..   ( The country cops which live next door to me and right across the road from this excellent farmer.. apparently didn't see any need for alarm in this.. but when it is drizzling rain .. and my loving Homer sprayed diesel onto the briar's in the fence row.. and no flames were present.. decides to call the fire department on me..)   ( note to self.. find out how melon growing man gets the pay offs to the county cops.. then intercept payments and hope he shoots the melon growing neighbor for lack of payment)    I thought I would capture the excellent melon growing farmer in his work of much time consuming and loud banging.. clanging.. and just the roar of the tractor.. for hours and hours and hours on end..so you all can say this fall .. when he appears on The Today Morning Show.. having obtained the honor of Mr. Watermelon 2009..

"HEY I KNOW THAT DUDE!"  The roar is so loud when he reaches the end of the row he is tilling, plowing, discing, or just driving over in glee of anticipation.. I can't hear my television, my radio, my friends, my own thoughts.. but.. I am not one to ripple the pleasant aura of peace in my small neighborhood.. no not me.. not Lockie.. oh no.. I hold my tongue in my cheek until it has permanently grown there.. I now talk .. but no one understands me.. at least that is the excuse I am using when I get off on a rant about this subject and people start skulking away.. smiling.. which is a dead giveaway.. they did not understand me.. or I am sputtering spit all over them...   cowards.... The man started on February1, 2009.... preparing for a crop he can't plant until the middle of April.. Last year he planted them three times.. yes.. count them with me children.. three times.. Why you might ask? He planted his hills of watermelon seed and it rained so much.. they all washed away.. So,,, he planted them again.. and the mice ate them because there was nothing else out there to eat!  He has broken up all of the ground except the yard of the house.. he does not rent out or live in..
 He places a long metal folding table out in front of the house in the summer and places little packets of produce he has packaged in old bread sacks..( what other poor person he is torturing with the plot of ground he uses to grow squash, tomatoes, okra, and cucumbers is unknown to me at this time)  into piles on this table and puts a metal box with around 3 dollars in coins in it onto the table near a sign which reads..
"ALL SACKS 2.50... PUT YOUR MONEY IN THE BOX AND GET CHANGE IF YOU  IT CAN BE MADE FROM WHAT IS IN THE BOX..
.. SERVE YOURSELF"

And the guy cleans up! .... sigh..  If I did that .. either the stuff would rot before anyone stopped, or I would get ripped off so bad I would have to take out a loan to pay off the cop! But this is not the end of the story.. not by a long shot.. as you can see his weeks and weeks of working this ground into a fine powder, has been very productive.. but now the March winds are blowing .. usually from the north to the south.. Yeah.. my house runs east and west.. so now I have at least an inch of dirt that sifts into every hairline opening my home has in its windows. If you plan on going to the mailbox.. I put on one of those white doctors masks.. he has seen me.. but no reaction .. none.. whatsofreaking ever... In addition to this.. since he has decided that he no longer needs to plow anymore.. now he is working on the housing edition road that runs along the patch.. apparently he has plowed it up a might in his exuberance..
 He woke me up this weekend on both Saturday and Sunday.. using the blade on the back of the tractor and the bucket on the front end loader he recently purchased for it .. dragging gravel out of the ditches .. not scooping up the gravel.. dragging the gravel.. upon to the driveways and the pavement of the county road..( It sounds like he is tearing the blade off of the tractor.. and omg! the front end loader sounds like nothing I have ever heard before except maybe someone dragging their nails across the chalk board. ) until.. he has crumbled the pavement up into the beginnings of some extensive patch work to be done in front of my drive way.. by the county road crew .. not the state.. THE COUNTY!  The have no materials and our employees are jail trustees and juvenile delinquents doing community service crew.   HAVE MERCY! This morning he is testing out his deer deterrent cannon ... you know that little butane powered invention called the critter skeddaddler.. which does not work.. but makes me jump around 2 feet every time it goes off..  last year it was set to go off every 30 minutes.. so far this year he has just been setting it off continuously .. while he tweaks it.. I already have the eye twitch back and I really think I heard myself stutter yesterday.. okay.. I know my friends well.. so just open up your minds to the problem.. and help me .. please.. The the cannon has to go, at least, without getting caught.. I mean last year he asked me to help him watch out for kids stealing his melons at night .. cause he couldn't fight the deer and the kids and make a profit.. so I said okay..
 I am such a wuss.. sigh..
 This was before he set up the cannon.. and if I say I will help out.. I will..
 I never expected anything in return.. honestly.. that is just setting yourself up to get pissed if you do.. but in return for my watching his place and not doing much in the way of complaining about the cannon except to tell him.. it scared me when it went off.. especially at 2 or 3 a.m.. he picked those melons and took them out of the state to sell.. and when I asked how much for one of the ones left as culls.. his price tag was 5 dollars.. in advance.. and he picked out the melon.. The man moved here from a suburb of New York.. and has no Hillbilly manners at tall.. he is one of those... as my grandma called em.. "FURRRINERS" from way up north of us here in Arkansas.. sigh.. the best I have come up with so far involves my shotgun.. a load of rocks and buckshot and blow that cannon into outer space.. but the guy has a video camera set up to watch the patch too!  I need input, my gleeful when challenged friends..

COME ON MY YANKEE FRIENDS.. AND REBEL FRIENDS..
HEY.. I AM AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ENABLER HERE..

 I NEED.....

 HELP!   lockerridge  

FERUARY 21, 2009 HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. UNVEILING OF A NEW PRODUCT... LIMITED TIME OFFER.. HURRY!

  FEBRUARY 21, 2009   HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC.  UNVEILING OF A NEW PRODUCT!  LIMITED TIME OFFER!  HURRY! FOR ALL THOSE TEENAGED  YOUNGUNS IN OUR LIVES, WHO HAVE THOSE AWFUL SKIN PROBLEMS THEY SEEM TO ALWAYS HAVE JUMP ON 'EM....
  HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. HAS DEVELOPED THE LATEST IN MODERN TECHNOLOGY, TO GIVE A HELPING HAND OR SQUISH AS IT MIGHT BE!
 SCOOTER SUES' SLIDING ZIT SQUISHER!

MY NIECE SCOOTER SUE..
 SHE IS THE ONE IN THE PICTURE UP YONDER.. SHE SHORE TAKES A GOOD PICTURE DON'T SHE?.... LOOKS JUST LIKE HER MOMMA!
WELL ANYWAY.. SCOOTER SUE HAD A PROBLEM WITH A SKIN CONDITION OF THE WORST KIND..
YES INDEEDY FOLKS .. SHE WAS PLAGUED BY THE TERRIBLE CONDITION OF...

 INGROWN ZITS..

WE'VE ALL SEEN IT HAPPEN BEFORE TO YOUNGUNS..
TERRIBLE THANG TO HAPPEN TO A YOUNG GIRL NOW AIN'T IT? WELL THAT GOT UNCLE BILLY BOB TO SEARCHING  FOR AN EASY WAY FOR HER TO GET DOWN INTO THOSE INGROWED DEMON PUS POCKETS.
 HE BEGAN TO GO TO YARD SALES AND FLEA MARKETS..
ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FREIGHT DAMAGE PLACES AND THE STOCKYARDS.

  SEARCHING FOR AN ITEM THAT COULD BE RECYCLED INTO A MACHINE TO POP 'EM RIGHT OUTTA HER TROUBLED FACE..
WELL NOW FRIENDS WHEN UNCLE BILLY BOB GET SOMETHING ON HIS MIND TO DO.. HE GIVES IT 100% OF HIS TIME ..
 AND SO..

 LOW AND BEHOLD HE FINALLY HAD SOME INSPIRATION FROM A FELLER OUT TO THE FREIGHT DAMAGE PLACE WITH A WHOLE BOBTRUCK LOAD OF USED SLIDING GLASS DOORS!  HIS BRAIN GOT TO HUMMING AND NEXT THANG YA KNOW..
 THERE IT WAS..
 THE ZIT SQUISHER...
 IT IS A THANG OF BRILL ANT BEAUTY! AND ITS ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY TOO! MADE FROM TOTALLY RECYCLED PARTS!  THAT IS JUST A MIRACLE.. A TRUE MIRACLE I TELL YA!
WE ARE RUNNING A NEW PRODUCT SPECIAL FOR THIS WEEK ONLY..
YOU CAN GET THE
 SCOOTER SUES' ZIT SQUISHER,
 A BOTTLE OF GRANNY JUNE ELLYN'S FACE FLAKE OFF ACNE TONIC,
A PACKAGE OF SUPER FINE SANDPAPER,

AND A SAMPLE OF VALIUM

( Just in case you might experience some discomfort from any one of the products involved in this total skin care package .. so we had some left over from when Uncle Randy Bill had that breakdown last year.. we don't talk about it much..)
 ALL THIS TOTAL SKIN CARE PACKAGE FOR THE ONE TIME INTRODUCTORY PRICE OF ...
 19.95!!

TH ATS RIGHT.. ONLY 19.95!
SO GET TO THEM THERE CELL PHONES
AND CALL THIS HERE NUMBER QUICK!

1-800-ZIT-SQSH

(WE ONLY GOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR A 5 MINUTE COMMERCIAL, SINCE MY OLD AUNT MARGIE HAD TO HAVE THAT NEW GLASS EYEBALL, WHEN SHE DROPPED HERS DOWN THE WELL, AND NOBODY WOULD GO DOWN AND GET IT.. )

  Hillbilly Technology Inc. is a business dedicated to turning your trash into someone elses skin product. Appearance of product varies because of availability of sliding glass door may not be real good all the time and we might have to use a closet door or something like that.. you unnerstand I am sure..
Hillbilly Technology Inc. is owned and operated by the Lockerridge Family from Buzzard Breath, Arkansas...
We ain't licensed to examine eyes, so don't ask.
hilbiltecinc@hillbillytech.netcon
We take all credit cards...
anything that is plastic with numbers stamped in it.. as long as it ain't one of them AARP cards.. them don't work at all..   
 

lockerridge

FEBRUARY 20, 2009 LOCKIES FRIDAY FUNNY FINDS

FEBRUARY 20, 2009
LOCKIES
FRIDAY FUNNY FINDS

   
In a small Southern town a trial was taking place. The small-towns' prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand.  She stood and made her way to the front of the courtroom, taking her time as she was a small elderly woman.. he smiled patiently because she reminded him
of his own grandmother.    It took quite a bit of time to get her sworn in and then finally he was ready to question her.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded in clear sweet voice, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you." The lawyer was mortified... and after a few moments of strained silence,  in a somewhat strangled voice, while pointing across the room at the defense attorney, he asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"> She again replied, in her sweet grandmotherly voice, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
Yes, I know him." The defense attorney ,  was having trouble breathing and his face was drained of all color. The judge noticing the defense attorneys difficulties call for a recess, and then motioned both counselors to approach the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said, "If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I will sentence you to life in prison, with her for a cell mate."



The Coldest Igloo
Three macho Eskimos were arguing about who had the coldest igloo. So they decided to check each one of their igloos, in turn.    The first Eskimo was very confident he would win that upon reaching his igloo and going inside, with great drama, he pulled back his polar bearskin blanket, revealing that his bed was made of ice.    He puffed out his chest and said,"I am so tough my bed is made of ice and I don't even feel it at night!"   "Wow that is impressive.. but.. ah..  mine is colder," proclaimed  the second Eskimo with confidence. Sure enough when they  reached his igloo, he pulled open the door and it was snowing inside!    "Pretty cold," conceded the third Eskimo, "But I've got both of you beat."   So they proceeded to his igloo and went inside.. it wasn't snowing.. but he did pull the cover off his bed to reveal it was also made of ice, but with a large brown spot in the middle of the ice.   The first and second Eskimos looked at each other and started to laugh saying," What is so much colder in here than our igloos.. you don't even have it snowing in here."   The third Eskimo just grinned and taking an ice pick chipped the brown spot off of the ice bed and put it into a pan... that he carried over and sat on top of the wood stove in the igloo.   Then he said," Wait a minute or two."   So they waited and in a couple of minutes that hear a large sound like somebody passing gas... Eskimo one and two held their noses and said in unison," Have mercy.. you got something dead in that stove!"   The third Eskimo grinned widely and said...   " Nope..  It is so cold in my igloo even my farts freeze... I win!"

lockerridge

FEBRUARY 16, 2009 TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO ... CAPTION IT!!

FEBRUARY 16, 2009
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO ...
CAPTION IT!!




THIS ONE IS FOR MY BUDDY OJ...
AND I CAPTION IT..
"SIGNS OF BEING REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY.....
REALLY, REALLY REALLY..
TIRED OF WINTER TIME...
THE CARROT IS FROSTBITTEN... "    


lockerridge

FEBRUARY 14, 2009 LOCKERRIDGE DISASTER PIECE THEATRE PRESENTS... THE GREATEST PRANK PHONE CALL EVER!!

FEBRUARY 14, 2009
 LOCKERRIDGE DISASTER PIECE THEATER
 PRESENTS...
THE GREATEST PRANK
 PHONE CALL EVER!!

ANOTHER JEWEL FROM AUNTIE J.!
THIS IS THE BEST ONE I HAVE EVER HEARD FOLKS!

  lockerridge

FEBRUARY 6, 2009 MOOOOOOO!!!!

FEBRUARY 6, 2009
MOOOOOOO!!!!  

 A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to  Amy... "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" The rancher leaves for the fields, and Amy gets started on the houses daily cleaning chores and starts a pot of soup for their lunch.  After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door enquiring about the cow he was there to inseminate.  Amy smiled and said, "Sure just follow me sir."
  They walked along the row of cows, and when Amy saw the nail driven into the 2x4 above the cows stall, she tells him...
 "This is the one right here."  The man, being a bit of a jerk, assuming he is dealing with an air head blonde, jeeringly asks...  "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know,  how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?" Amy being of a patient nature said to him in a sweet voice...  "Well it is very easy to tell... I know because of the nail that's in the 2x4 over this stall."  Laughing rudely at her, the man says.. "And what, pray tell, is the nail  for?" Amy swings her blonde hair back behind her ears and as she  turns to walk away,  says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."


lockerridge

JANUARY 31, 2009 LOCKERRIDGE DISASTER PIECE THEATRE DOUBLE FEATURE... SPONSOR AN EXECUTIVE AND ARE YOU SURE SHE IS HUMAN?

  JANUARY 31, 2009 
 LOCKERRIDGE
DISASTER PIECE THEATRE
 DOUBLE FEATURE...
 SPONSOR AN EXECUTIVE 
AND
ARE YOU SURE SHE IS HUMAN?

My Auntie Johnnie has sent two really good videos for me to share with all of my fellow oddity loving friends. The first is a plea for help for the unfortunate executives in our world today and the second one is of a girl and a ball.. Yeah you read it right.. A girl and a ball. After watching it.. I am convinced she is an alien.. no way can she be human and do what she does with that ball. No way. No freaking way.. SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!...
NO WAY IS THAT GIRL HUMAN!!!!!...
I AM PRETTY SURE THE BALL IS
AN ALIEN BALL ... WONDER WHERE THE OTHER ONE OF THE SET IS AT..
MAYBE I DON'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION..
 
      lockerridge