I HEARD WHAT
I WAS
LISTENING TO!
Have you ever thought about all of these inspirational quotes we read and think to ourselves.. "How True!"... and we get the code for it and we post it all over every site we happen to be a member of, to share the truth of what you have read?
This brings others to read and comment on how it is a true and worthy statement, made by a wise individual and, we would all do well to abide by it if possible.
Then we promptly forget it and move on to the next "wisdom" to listen to without really hearing what it is saying to us.I am guilty of doing this, and never really gaining any benefit from the one whose life had given them the inspiration and experience to impart it to the rest of the world in hopes of helping another poor soul in their journey of life.
If I did, I would surely apply it to my own life, and therefore have an easier time of knowing which doors to open, and which ones to close.
I listen to music a lot, and some of the song lyrics brings with them such a kinship with me that I carry the memory of the song and the circumstances that surrounded me at the time I was given it to listen to forward in life, to be with me always, but somehow, I never remember a time when I applied those lyrics to my life.
If for no other reason than to prove to myself that the person who wrote it, was just trying to make a dollar with a catchy melody, or if they really meant what they were pouring out of their soul to the world.
I have been in such a state of brain fry for months now that I cannot make a decision without second guessing myself... this not only makes my life one of never ending self made problems, it drives anyone who is around me for very long slightly insane.
My son being the principal one who is catching all the fall out from my lack of confidence in my ability to make good decisions. Unfortunately he has been through this before with me, and knows how to handle things without getting angry or running away screaming.
He is a level headed, calm, and sane person, while I run around changing my mind every hour or two to the point that nothing can go forward and lots has to go backward, and then forward again an hour or two later.. I don't realize I am doing it when I am in the midst of insanity, and when I do realize it...
Well lets just say... he has been eating lots of "I am sorry"...
"Order what ever you want" suppers ....
My treat.
I have to get it together, cause he is getting fat and I am going broke!
All that food and no exercise from getting things done will soon have him not able to fit into the clothes we just got him for school this semester. Well I am doing it again.. I digress and the point I am making is going to be so pointless by the time I get to it.. you will run away screaming... cause you have not been in training for twenty six years like my kid, on how to keep her on track without derailing her completely..
so onward ...
At my place of employment we have a lot of people lately who have been facing terminally ill close family members.
My supervisor's wife is one of the most courageous women I have ever encountered.
She has been fighting cancer for fifteen years now, with treatment and remissions several times, except this time. She has been expected to not make it through the night, several times during this last six weeks, and he has taken time off to be able to keep her at home, and comfortable in her own home.
The doctors call her a miracle ...
Another co-worker's grandmother suffers from Alzheimer's disease and had a bout with pneumonia that led to blood clots, surgery, and renal shutdown. They airlifted her out of Washington Regional here in Fayetteville to the Baptist Hospital in Little Rock, not giving much hope she would survive the flight, but there was nothing else they could do for her there.
That was two weeks ago, and they let her go home last Thursday.
The families have been called in several times in both of these dear women's knocks on deaths door, and I have watched both my supervisor and co-worker go through the familiar feelings I know too well.
It also imparted to me a blessing from their pain.
All of my life I have heard the quote..
" Live each day as if it were your last"
I said I have heard it, but I never really listened to it before.
So I set about figuring out what I would do if I knew that in 24 hours I would never be here again.
No putting things off to do tomorrow, no more changing my mind if I wanted to, it would be final.. no going back.
I thought to myself that I should try an experiment the next day and treat it as if I would never get another day to say and do what I would like to be remembered for saying and doing.
I actually made myself go a full 24 hours in this mode, and it was the biggest blessing I have ever received, second only to being the mother of Jamie Lee.
I found I wanted to laugh and not think about the crapola that really doesn't mean anything after it has been done.
The people who have let me down in my life, can't take it back.
I can't cry and wallow in my own personal little hole of self pity and make life any better.
As a matter of fact.. I found that it was aggravating if those emotions surfaced that day.
I took my phone and I placed a phone call to the one who had hurt me the most and I just visited with him. I told him jokes and he did likewise, we laughed over sweet memories we shared.
God smiled.
So I have been choosing at least one day a week to spend it like it was my last one on earth.
Those are the best days of the week...
and God smiles.
Rob Thomas... Small Wonders
"Life can be a lot sweeter, if while your listening ... you hear what is being said "
I like it when God smiles.
lockerridge
