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HIDDY HO! GOOD FRIENDS, AND PD THE CHIMPANZEE, AND IGLOO THE HOUSESHOE, WHOSE RESPECTABILY HAS BEEN BESMERCHED... (YES I SAID BESMERCHED... IT IS SPELLED RIGHT I LOOKED IT UP IN WIKIPEDIA! HA! HILLBILLIES
CAN READ AND WRITE, SOMETIMES.... IF WE HAVE ENOUGH DAYLIGHT TO SEE WITH.....HEHE!)
WHERE I COME FROM, WE ARE SO FAR BACK IN THE WOODS WE HAVE TO BUY OUR DAYLIGHT, AND HAVE IT PUMPED IN..
.. UM HUMMM... WHEN YOU GET A CLOG IN YOUR DAYLIGHT PIPE..... WELL JUST SUFFICE IT TO SAY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STAY IN THE DARK ABOUT HOW TO FIX IT, SO YES WE CAN READ... HEHEHE! ( FUNNY SAYING PROVIDED BY MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, HOMER THE HILLBILLY HUMOR EXPERT) HEHE
BUT I DIGRESS, (YES IT IS SPELLED RIGHT TOO! SHEESH) ONWARD, I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT AN UNFORTUNATE HAPPENING THAT WAS EXPERIENCED BY MYSELF, BECAUSE OF SIMPLE AND TOTAL LACK OF LOVE FOR LOCKIE!!!! 
( SNIFFLE, SNOT, SNIFFLE)
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I WAS PINNED TO THE GROUND BY A REALLY SMELLY HAIRY ALIEN, 
EEEEK!!!! THAT STOWED ABOARD THE TRANSPORT 
THAT BROUGHT ME BACK FOR A PARTY GIVEN BY IGHOUSESHOE, A CASTLE WARMING PARTY, FOR HIS MOVING INTO A REALLY WONDERFUL HOME.......
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THAT I,
AS HIS REAL ESTATE AGENT JUST ABOUT WENT INSANE 
TO FIND FOR HIM. ( IGLOO, CLARA'S PET PENGUIN STOLE THE HERRING DOWNPAYMENT AND RAN AWAY WITH THE WALRUS, YOU OWE ME STINKY!)
MY DOCTOR, I.B.REALOLD,
ADVISED ME TO TAKE A CRUISE AND FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THIS , TO NOT EVEN LOOK AT A PENGUIN FOR A MONTH.
.......................HEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!..............
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(THIS ITTY BITTY HILARIOUS SLIP I STOLE FROM SAKURA, THANKYOU SAKURA, FOR LETTING BE BE A THEIF HEHE)
SO I BOOKED MYSELF ON A SPACE CRUISE THAT
WAS HOLDING SPACE FOR MY FRIEND FLAGON THE DRAGON 
( HER COLD IS MUCH BETTER NOW). SHE OFFERED ME HER SPACE AND I TOOK OFF!
BUT SINCE I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR A PARTY,
ANY KIND OF PARTY,
I CAME BACK TO ATTEND.
AN ALIEN MUST HAVE SNEAKED OFF THE TRANSPORT, AND HID IN THE BUSHES BY IGLOO'S HOUSE BECAUSE, WHEN I WAS LEAVING, IT PUSHED ME DOWN AND THEN SAT ON ME!!!!!! AND WOULD NOT GET OFF!!!!
I YELLED,.
.. I SCREAMED,..
. I SPIT,..
. I THREW SAND,.... I COULD HEAR IGLOO AND PD AS THEY WERE WALKING
BY WHERE I WAS BEING, SHALL I SAY DETAINED, BY THE HAIRY BLACK BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET.... THE TWO BRAINLESS PARTY ANIMALS 
WERE OBLIVIOUS TO ANYTHING, BUT GETTING ANOTHER CUP OF CASTLE TO DRINK AS IT MELTED OFF THE WALLS!... .... SEE LACK OF LOVE FOR LOCKIE ( SNIFFLE, SNOT, SWALLL!)
I KNOW THEY HEARD ME...... I AM NOT A HAPPY LOCKIE..
..
TO ADD INSULT TO THE INJURY.... AS I LAY THERE UNDER THE SMELLY THING, ( SMELLS WORSE THAN IGLOO WHEN HE HAS BEEN EATING HERRING IN GARLIC SAUCE) CONSIDERING WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE WHEN I WAS CONVICTED OF 
PENGUIN AND MONKEY ABUSE, THE BIG HAIRY BLACK ALIEN WAS SUDDENLY LIFTED OFF OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!
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ONLY TO BE REPLACED
BY THE THING WITH ORANGE HAIR, WHO WAS EATING THE BLACK HAIRY ONE..... EWWWWWWW! ALIEN SUSHI ..
...EWWW!
ONCE AGAIN, I YELLED, I SCREAMED, I OFFERED THE THING MONEY...
...IT ATE IT! YIKES....
I HEARD PD AND IGLOO AS THEY CAME AND WENT, AND I KNOW, IF I COULD HEAR THEM.......
I ..... KNOW ....YOU HEARD ME!!!! 
I WAS CALLING AROUND ON MY CELL PHONE, 
TRYING TO FIND A SUPEHERO TO SAVE ME, WHEN THE THING LEFT..
.. YEAH!!!! .....BUT IT HAD SMASHED ME INTO THE GROUND SO FAR, I COULD NOT GET OUT!
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FLAGON AND DIO HAPPENED TO BE FLYING BY, AND ........" THEY" HEARD ME! ( A DRAGON FLYING A MILE HIGH IN THE SKY HEARS ME AND THESE TWO ARE 3 FT FROM ME
AND CAN'T HEAR ME! UMMM HUMMM)
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DIO GOT A GUY WITH A BACK HOE TO COME IN AND DIG ME OUT...... SO NOW I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY.. 
... BE AFRAID MONKEY MAN, AND HOUSESHOE, BE SO VERY AFRAID...... I HAVE A DRAGON FOR A FRIEND..... SHE BURNS WATER WITH HER BREATH 
( SHE IS MAGIC, CHUCK THAT IS HOW THE PURPLE IGLOO WAS BURNED UP, SILLY)
NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE STORY,
DO YOU BLAME ME FOR WANTING TO GIVE THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING SAT UPON FOR TWO DAYS BY A VERY UNPLEASANT SMELLY THING, TO THESE TWO PARTY 
ANIMALS OF QUESTIONABLE INTELLIEGENCE???? HUMMMMMM!!!!!
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HE HE HE!!! MEET DIO'S MAGICIAN MAGFOOLA..... AND BE AFRAID 
IGHOUSESHOE, INVENTOR OF THE MONEY MAKING GAME THAT IS SWEEPING THE NATION, WHACK-A-LOCKIE, AND CHIMPANZEE PD...
........PARTNER IN THE FIRM OF HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. INDIA DIVISION,....LOCKIE IS WATCHING YOU.. 
I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT....OH! LORD....I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR TWO DAYS, OH LORD! OH LORD!.... ( phil collins rocks!) HEHEHE!!!!
NO REALLY, I AM FINE, JUST FINE!!!!!!..
lockerridge
victor in the evil x wars
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