Hillbilly Technology Inc.: 05/23/08

Friday, May 23, 2008

MAY 24, 2008 HERBIE.... THE DEFENDER OF HIS FAMILY AGAINST THE EVIL METROPLEX PHONEBOOK!

MAY 24, 2008

HERBIE.... THE DEFENDER OF HIS FAMILY AGAINST THE EVIL METROPLEX PHONEBOOK!

BELOW YOU SEE A RARE PICTURE OF THE EVIL METROPLEX PHONEBOOK! THIS IS A COPY OF MY LAST YEARS BOOK.. AND IT HAS REINED EVIL UPON MY EVERY CONNECTED LAN LINE MOMENT ..

NO MORE! NOT WITH HERBIE THE SUPER DEFENDER OF ALL HE LOVES.. NAMELY .. SIGH.. ME... ON THE JOB 24/7

LOOKED OUTSIDE THIS MORNING.. AND IT BECAME CRYSTAL CLEAR TO ME THAT I NOW HAVE A PUPPY LIVING ON MY PREMISES.. AND THAT THE NEXT TIME THEY THROW MY NEW PHONE BOOK OUT INTO MY DRIVEWAY AFTER DARK.. I THINK I MIGHT JUST COMPLAIN TO THE PHONE BOOK PEOPLE ABOUT IT.. BUT THEN I WOULD HAVE TO EXPLAIN ABOUT SUPER HERB AND WELL.. I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP THAT A INTERNET BLOGGING KIND OF NEED TO KNOW BASIS FOR RIGHT NOW!

THE FACE OF TRUE EVIL!

THE 2006-2007 VERSION OF COMMUNICATION ASSASINS AT LARGE!

THE DEMISE OF THE NEW INTRUDER UPON MY HOUSEHOLD.. THE 2008-2009 NEW EDITION OF COMMUNICATION DEATH!

UMM HUMMM! SIGH...

DIGGER SAYS HE IS A TRUE CANINE NINJA.. FROM FRANCE...

HHHHEEERRRRRBBBIEEEE! STOP TEARING UP THE BOOK.. AHA! I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE BOOK.. HAD IT HIDDEN UNDER THE HOUSE DIDN'T YOU... ALONG WITH THAT LONE HIGHTOP I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR ... FOR A COUPLE MONTHS.. MAN IS THAT THING RANK!!!

OKAY..... GET UP.. I AM NOT RUBBING YOUR BELLY FOR MAKING THE YARD LOOK LIKE I AM SELLING PAPER SHREDDERS!

BUT YOU DO KILL THOSE NASTY SNAKES.. AND YOU DO LOVE ME SOOOO MUCH..

YOU ARE FORGIVEN..

HEED THESE WORDS YOU NATUAL BORN NINJA FROM FRANCE..

YOU HAVE STILL MUCH TO LEARN..

LITTLE HAIRY BLACK ORPHAN..

AND TRUST ME.. THE WAY MY BACK FEELS RIGHT NOW.. YOU MIGHT WANT TO TO TAKE THE ACCELERATED COURSES!

" PRISSY MADE ME DO IT!"

HERBIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!

lockerridge

MAY 23, 2008 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? .. THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!

MAY 23, 2008 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? .. THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!

WELL.. I THINK IT IS FUNNY ANYWAY.. HOPE YOU DO ALSO!

( THIS IS PURELY FICTION OKAY.. PLEASE NO ONE TAKE THIS AS A REAL THING... DON'T WANT SNOPES.COM TO INVESTIGATE ME!)

SEVERAL HIGH MEDIA PROFILED PEOPLE WHERE ASKED THE AGE OLD QUESTION:

"WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

AND HERE ARE THEIR ANSWERS..

( REMEMBER THIS IS FICTION!)

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then,
this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part Internet Explorer has experienced some technical difficulties and must close.. we are sorry if you were in the middle of something.. you are going to lose 4 hours of work because of echicken"

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?