WHAT TODAY SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOR ME IS MY 28TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.. MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO I FOLLOWED HERE FROM THE 360 ALREADY KNOW MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY IN 1999.
MOST OF THEM KNOW I HAVE THESE IRRITATING BOUTS OF "DARK DEMON DAYS" MOST USUALLY AROUND THE HOLIDAYS.
THOSE DAYS THAT DON'T FEEL RIGHT TO ME. THEY ARE ALL WRONG. THEY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME OR FEEL RIGHT. I KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET PAST IT AFTER ALL THIS TIME.. OR AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I TELL MY SELF ALL THE TIME..
BUT IT JUST COMES ANYWAY.. HOW DO YOU RID YOURSELF OF IT?
THAT IS THE 64,000 DOLLAR QUESTION FOR SURE.. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU RID YOURSELF OF THEM..
IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYTHING ANYONE CAN TALK ME OUT OF EITHER.. SO IF YOU ARE READING AND TRYING TO FORM AN ANSWER FOR ME.. I APPRECIATE IT.. BUT ACTUALLY THIS BLOG TODAY IS SIMPLY AN OUTLET FOR THE STEAM THAT SEEMS TO BE BUILDING UP.
SO JUST LET ME RAMBLE AND THANKS FOR READING. IT .. ALTHOUGH NOT ENTERTAINING OR INFORMATIVE.. IT IS WHAT IT IS ..
IT IS ME.. AND SOMETIMES ME IS A SAD SACK OF POO! A HYPOCRITE OF THE WORST KIND!
I GOT TO STOP NOW AND JUST GO DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME SMILE.. LIKE LOOK AT THE PICS I TOOK OF MY SON YESTERDAY WHEN HE WAS DOWN FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.. HE IS A LOVE THAT BOY IS.. HECK HE IS NOT A BOY ANY MORE HE IS 24 YEARS OLD!
I LOVE HIM.. VERY VERY MUCH.. AND I WISH SO BADLY AT TIMES THAT HIS GROWING UP HAD BEEN DIFFERENT.. BUT I CAN'T TURN BACK THE CLOCK AND I CAN'T TAKE AWAY HURTS THAT LINGER..
I WISH I COULD TURN IT BACK FOR BOTH OF US.. AND HAVE OVERS.. BUT LIFE ISN'T MADE LIKE THAT .. AND SOMETIMES.. IT JUST OVERWHELMS ME.. THAT FACT...
THAT FACT THAT I CAN'T FIX THE PAST WRONGS ..
IS SIMPLY THAT FACT.
I FACE IT EVERY DAY.. AND I FIGHT THE FACT THAT I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THE WEAKNESS THAT WOULD KEEP ME FROM FUNCTIONING. ... I WILL NOT EVER BE THAT WEAK AGAIN.. ONCE IS ENOUGH!
LOVE TO THOSE WHO READ AND DON'T RUN SCREAMING FROM THE PAGE.
LOCKIE.. OVER AND OUT!
lockerridge