OCTOBER 26, 2008
MEET MY FRIEND CRYSTAL
SOMEONE TRULY SPECIAL
I have met a lot of people who are special, here on the internet. The first of course being Dani.. my best friend and partner in web crime. 
The very first person who I met here was a man from India named Pradeep, who goes by the Id of PD. I have lost touch with him since the move from 360 to Multiply, and that is something I regret greatly.. but all of our lives change on a daily basis and from those pointers in our lives, we move along.
This blog is about Crystal .. she is alterbe4ego here on Multiply and she is simply a wonder gal!
She has had some health problems that affected her mental state, because of an imbalance of chemicals in her body. Most people never try to really overcome these kinds of problems, but this lady fought the long fight to find the medicines that would help her .... I am here to tell you she is just fine in all respects except one.. she does not think she is! lol..
She strives to understand and live her life according to the Lord God whom she loves with her whole flesh and bone being and her soul.
I like her very much. I had the opportunity to visit her in person, this summer, when I went on vacation. She lives about 3 hours from me in Arkansas. I met her children and husband.. her dog and her cats.. and felt wonderfully at home and welcome.
The following letter I have posted with her, generous permission is one she wrote to her, as yet unborn, baby daughter. At the time she wrote this she was in the high points of her illness, that caused her to be delusional in her sense of reality.
This is a tribute to the mother that Crystal is and the person she is inside.
Her beauty is within and without and I admire her strength and courage a great deal.Her mind playing tricks made her fear she would lose her life before she could raise her child, so she wrote this letter to her. The plan was to give it on her graduation day.. but for some reason they opened it today.. and I was blessed because she posted it.
The love of a mother for her unborn child..
A LETTER TO ALEXANDRIA
The following is the letter I wrote while sitting alone, scared, pregnant, delusional and wanting to give the best possible advice that could be given to a child should I not have the chance to teach it myself.......
Little one,
You've been with me a little more than three months now. I don't know where we're going from here.
I want you to know I love you already and I'm scared as hell. I love your daddy but we aren't married. In fact I don't think I would have let this happen (being pregnant) if he hadn't sounded like that's what he wanted and I wasn't already thirty.
I don't know what the world will hold for you-I only know that it hasn't been the most pleasant place to me. I'm hoping you will have things so much easier than I did without being spoiled.
If something happens where I forget, or I'm not able to tell you, the main thing I want you to know about me is that I loved the Good Lord and I want you to learn about him strictly from the bible before you study any religion.
I also want you to take good care of yourself and never let anyone teach you about "can't". And if you find yourself wanting something really bad, at least try once. Never get old saying, "I wish". Some opportunities only happen once, "What if I had...." is the saddest 20/20 statement you can ever ponder upon because even in failure you learn to succeed.
I am hoping I can inspire love, kindness, thoughtfulness, and tolerance in you. But I also hope to teach you that life isn't fair without letting you resent it. I've spent a lot of useful time worrying about how "life isn't fair". I hope to teach you not to accept that as an excuse to fail like I have.
Always be honest with yourself and others. If you lie to yourself in one area, you cheat yourself in another. If you lie to others you betray the most valuable thing they have to give.....their trust.
Your friends deserve the truth because you love them and your enemies aren't worth degrading your integrity with a lie. Sometimes, "None of your business" is the best answer.
Try not to judge people by appearances. Quite often a perfect appearance is a beautiful mask for an ugly pride-so keep remembering who you really are so you don't have false pride. If you are inclined to criticize try to remember if you are possibly guilty of almost the same thing.
Once a day find something good in an impossible person. You'd be surprised how wonderfully something like that can affect the meanest people.
Sometimes people are nasty because that's all they know-try to SHOW them that there is a better way.
Above all else, if you see me violating this stuff myself, remind me of what I said and rise above my shortcomings.
I don't know what I could add to this.
If everything goes normal and smooth, I'll be giving this to you (hopefully) on your graduation day.
My granny told me once, "If it feels right in your heart then do it. But if it don't feel right in your heart then you know it's wrong........If you always do what you feel is right in your heart, then you'll have a big stick to fight the world with and you can tell everybody your granny gave you that big stick."
Well, darlin', granny gave it to me, now I leave it to you to give to your children too-it's the family heirloom and the only one worth much.
I love you.
Mom
lockerridge
