JANUARY 13, 2010
GREEN ACRES
IS THE PLACE FOR ME!
Riddle me this question with your wisdom that I value greatly O'Friends of Lockerridge.... What do the above picture, the move I reported to you all that I was making, fear, and finally realizing your limitations have in common?
If you guessed that I found out that I am a hillbilly deluxe and a fraidy cat.. your 100% correct... grab your prize at the door when you leave this poor pitiful creature to her own voyage of self discovery and ultimate realization that I am not superwoman.. I was raised on a rocky top, learned how to live life with a certain set of values and expectations, and if your somewhere that same set of values and safety are totally nonexistent, and if you can't cut the skyscrapers, and the drug addicts living in cardboard boxes,the out and out dishonesty of business in the area, and the violence and basic paranoid fear of the place and people... you don't have to!!
This woman found out that no matter the job or the need to get a new surroundings.. there is no place like home! I relate big time to Dorothy and ToTo. Not all that glitters is gold folks!
This blog is going to be a lot shorter than the last one... because I still haven't completely figured out what caused me to grab my phone and call the Tyson plant, after a tour of the entire city trying to find an apartment that had been advertised as what they actually expected from a potential renter, and finding the only thing left to me to be able to rent and afford was not where I want to be at all! This was supposed to be an exciting and new adventure for me in my life of dull everyday misery..
NOT IN THIS TOWN IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE!!
Sometimes I think maybe I must be doing something wrong when I trust people to actually be telling me the truth most of the time. I feel really dumb right about now.. but I am home, I am warm, I have food, I have no need to lock my doors during the daytime, and I never lock my car.. sometimes even forget and leave the keys in it .. for days at a time. No one has ever treated me the way I was in such a short period of time yesterday! When I went to LR initially it was raining cats and dogs the entire time. Yesterday it wasn't .. as since it had been a while of really cold temps.. the uglies of the entire city came out in force since it was a nice day. The fact that they recommended pepper spray or a stun gun be held in my hand on my way out of the plant to the 8 ft. tall barbed wire on top compound they call a parking lot.. The fact that I would be leaving work somewhere around 4 a.m.... and the security gated apartment complexes, who advertise one thing and when you actually arrive to tour what they have to offer.. would require somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000 dollars just to move in and then pay over 200 dollars more a month than they advertised unless you signed a 2 year lease with them... was the real big bringer of the thought of SCREW THIS! to the forefront of my mind.
Add to that the environment that the apartments I could afford had surrounding them... no one in their right mind WANTS to be panhandled everyday to just get to their car... if the car still is there and not in a chop shop somewhere... and your friendly ridge top hillbilly from Arkansas.. just could not see a bright future for herself there at all!
So Lockie came home.. and she is going to stay right here and make it work out for herself, instead of running away from my problems, and then if I find something maybe in the town my son is already living in.. I might go for it.. but if not.. then.. right here is where I am staying!!!
I forgot one important rule of life ... home is the place you go to get better acquainted with yourself when your faced with a major upheaval in your life. It is where I am supposed to learn how to regroup and rest ... to pull on the resources of safety and comfort afforded by familiar things and faces.
To reaffirm to me that I was not being a chicken sh*t and that what I had done was the right thing for me.. I was about 20 miles from home and I happened to look on the east bound side of the interstate as I was driving west bound.. and low and behold who do you think was waving and flashing his lights at me?
Good ole Homer...
yeah.. my cell phone started to ring and he wanted to know how it went.. so I told him.. and he breathed a sigh of relief and said.. " Always knew you were pretty smart, and you haven't changed any at all!"
Then he told me a dirty joke, and I laughed and it all melted away..
No... he isn't coming back ... but he hasn't abandoned me completely either.. and right now.. that is all I need to pick up the pieces and get strong by sticking it out. I already know it is the only way I will ever be ready to accept whatever God has in store for me in the future.
Hopefully it will be something I like!
Once again reporting from the home twenty... Lockie from Lockieland!
lockerridge
