All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France
Hello good friends,
I am as you may be able to tell, just a little bit tense and tired of it. No, lets make that a lot tired of it. The only person who can fix this is me. So I am going to do just that. Like the quote above tells you and I,all change is uncomfortable, but it is inevitable. It is going to come. If you don't learn to roll with it , you will get rolled over, and become food for the crows. I will not be among the picked upon or apart if I can help it. I am being trained for something. I don't even know what in, but I am going to roll with it, and try not to go insane. Try is a very big word isn't it? Hummmmm..... this may take some more thought,so onto a new and brighter subject.
I went into partnership with my cousin Al to buy 10 acres of property today. We are going to purchase it from our other cousin who lives in California. His dad bought the property from our other uncle and all of them have passed on now. So the Calif. part of the family is willing to sell his share of Ark. back to the Arkansans. It is a nice wooded parcel and get this it has a well already drilled and in a little well house. The electricity is run to the property, and it has on it some Indian grave mounds! This is so exciting to me. I hope they have not been robbed so I might contact the university and see if they would like to do a dig there. I have always loved archeology and this would just put me over the top in exictement. Al said it would be okay with him if I contacted the UofA and tried to get a field team to evaluate it for us.
If nothing else perhaps we could get a historical rating for the property and maybe set up a small viewing for a fee to a select group or two per summer. I don't want a tourist attraction, but I would share it if I find out it is a neat place to just sit and ponder the universe or if it is a bad thing and cursed. The possiblities are endless with my imagination! I always have wanted a place to draw and paint and write prose or narrative in peace and quiet and this is definetly a place of quiet and I don't know about the peace yet till I can walk and sit there for a while. I bet I could talk Al into a little cabin for sure to get us out of the rats ended race we seem to be running lately.
My boyfriend thinks it would be a good investment for me to make and I trust his judgement about stuff like this. He is not one to say yes to much of anything that might be a little risk of losing money on, but this one he was immediately all for. That tells me it is pretty safe to take on.
My other cousin, the fifteen year old girl that I am going to call Princess, is here until the end of next week. Her grandmother/ mother has willed her to have her house when she turns 18 and her truck when she turns 16. I sure hope she is not going to become someone who you can't put their head in a five gallon bucket. This kind of thing can make a kid go a little too independent and she is already too much that way now. Al is going to rent the house to put money in an account for college for her. If she makes it to college. She was supposed to attend summer school, but well, she didn't so I have no idea what kind of crap they will have to straighten out for her this fall. I hope her dad does not allow her to live here with Al. He offered but she needs to be with her dad now. And he needs to get a hold on her before it is too late to try to get her some sense in her head and something on her mind besides how she is being mistreated. Good grief the kid is so conceited, and so accomplished at shoveling bull pucky that I cannot hardly stand her. I do not want to be the one to have to be her primary care giver. I would probably be charged with abuse in the near future, because her hind end would definetly know what it feels like to get me to swat it a couple of swats when she starts this poor pitiful me, and runs off to pout. I cannot stand that kind of stuff from anyone at all.
Onward to something else. I guess I will start trying to line up a remodeling contractor soon. I should have my mom's estate about cleared up next month and I am going to move into her house. I can't though until I do some changing. I still miss her a whole lot. I mean a whole lot. But it isn't so sharp now. Losing aunt emma jean has really brought my son to his grief over his grandma though. He just would not stop and deal with it. Now it is hitting hard and I am glad I learned a long time ago to let it hurt and get the scar tissue over the hurt, early on. Running away is worse when it catches you . And it always catches you.
Enough for today, hope everything is going to turn out for the best. Or I guess I will deal with God's plan however the best way I can.
lockerridge
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