MARCH 19, 2007 "COW PILE..AKA..TIMOTHY KYLE " A HOMER AND ME STORY

***************

The above mentioned Cow Pile is the knick name given to Homer's nephew Timothy Kyle... or as I affectionately call him, " Blinky"! As in he is not totally rotten, like spoiled milk, he is just kind of blinky, like milk that is 4 days over the expiration date.

Until this last fall he was the youngest member of a family, so large they rent the VFW hall for family get togethers! So he has never has had a chance to be anything else.. hehe.

I just wish I was dealt with as harshly as this kid is.. I suppose he comes by it naturally,everyone else in the family is full of bull, especially his Grandpa and his favorite uncle, Uncle Homer. They are the type of people, that if you are going to be around them, bring a shovel, it will get deep before long! I love 'em all !

Anyway back to 3 ft. of human evil intensified...hehe

This child is smart, I mean really intelligent! I think he has a photographic memory, I am not being prejudiced people. From the time he could understand some of what you were saying to him, long before he could talk plainly, he knew his colors.. ... Scoff if you will, but I am telling you, I could sit with him with a magazine or any story book, and ask him where is the color blue and he could pick it off the page. Red, yellow, green, all the primary colors anyway, no pastels or any mixes, like burn't seinna orange glow! .. come on now! hehe

For the longest time, he would not talk much, but then when he started, OMG! He became the absolute authority on everything.. and was the master story teller, of the biggest lies you have ever heard! No matter how many times he retold a story, he never messed up.. not once that I know of..

One time in particular, he was telling anyone who would listen to him, the story of how he killed a bear with his knife,( his knife was one of the plastic kind that you get in the disposable tableware for picnics with the serrated edges smoothed off over the stove burner on the kitchen stove.. real dangerous weapon he had!)

This story was at least 15 minutes long with all kind of descriptive things in it.. I have heard him tell at least 5 times and he always told it the same way, even when you tried to trip him up, nope he would correct you.. umm humm.. spooky little kid,huh?.... he was only around 3 years old at the time!

Until Aunt Phyllis came in for vacation that summer... yep! another family member with a huge capapcity to mischeif! She listened to his bear story with a serious face and then proceeded to question him.. didn't phase him. She asked to see the knife, he told her it was at home, put up for when the next bear bothered him, he could take care of it! lol hhahahahaahaaa

Until ( you knew that was coming didn't you?hehe) we went to a local restaurant with Phyllis and Jimmy. Phyllis was sitting directly behind Kyle and she turned around and told him that maybe he should go and see if there were any bears around to be mean to us, if there were she would loan him her knife.. hehe.. He told here that bears didn't go to restaruants, they were for people.. sounded like this..

" Aunt fylus, em bears don eat in resrants.. theys bears, not peoples!" His grandpa was sitting beside him and he whispered in his ear and continued to eat his food.. Phyllis could not leave it alone.. she then told him he needed to save some of his french fries for the bears...

heheheeheheehee this is soooo goood!

He turned around in his chair, sighed heavily, and said," Aunt fylus, that is jus a tory, it not real, don you know that? Evebody ese knowed it were jus a tory... how tum u don?"

He turned back around in his chair and told him grandpa.. " See, I told you hers not very smart!"

Phyllis needed dry underwear...and so did I... hehe

Or how about the time his playstation was unhooked, and he asked his grandpa to hook it up for him.. Homers dad knows nothing about electronics, and has no desire to learn!..

Granpa said," Kyle I don't know anything about that video whatisit, so no, I can't". Kyle stood there for a second, kind of like he was debating if he threw a screaming, kicking, biting, fit it would get his playstation hooked up, or to try a different tac all together.

He opted for this, " Lets go and read up on it Papa." Grandpa shugged his shoulders and followed him into his room, and Kyle handed him a magazine he had brought in form the living room. Then picked up one of his story books off the floor.

Grandpa and he sat on the bed looking at their how to books..hehe.. and Kyle says," Well, you read anything about how to hook it up yet?"

Grandpa says," Nope, not a word, how about you?"

Kyle says," Nope not yet, but there is a lot of stuff in here about playstations."

5 minutes later Kyle says, " Papa have I got my book upside down?"

hahahahahahaaaaaaa!

Grandpa had to have dry underwear that day!

*~*~*~*

* * *

*~*~*~*

HOMER JR. AND KYLE ON GRANDPA'S THREE WHEELER AT THE "SHOP"

*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~

moo! moo! moo! ya'll

lockerridge