Hillbilly Technology Inc.: JULY 21, 2007 WHEN KYLE SPENDS THE NIGHT... A HOMER AND ME STORY..

WHEN KYLE SPENDS THE NIGHT...

Have you ever taken a 6 yr old, spoiled till he is just to point of being blinky.. not really as bad as soured milk.. but so close you need to hold your nose a lot of the time..into your home for a 3 day period before?

I have had the good fortune of the last 2 Saturday nights in a row, to have the pleasure of such a young man in my home for the night and most of the preceding Friday and almost all of Sunday.. his mother knows a sucker when she sees one I suppose.. sigh..

He special orders his meals in advance.. in other words he called me on Tuesday, and gave me his grocery list, and menu for me to have ready for him.. on Friday... when I came and picked him up at 8 a.m. ... this was the best time for him.. since his cartoons would be over then and mom would have his breakfast fixed and he would be ready and rarring to go..

( does the term " little monster" come to mind)

On Friday morning .. the first phone call arrived at my bedside at 6:30 a.m... the second at 6:45 a. m.....

I told him to stop calling me or I was not coming to get him..

he said okay he wouldn't call anymore until he was really all ready to go..

This means in 6 year old time frame... that my phone rang again at 7:05 a.m. and he was really all ready to go..

I asked to speak to insane sister of Homer..mother of child monster .. she was asleep....

So I crawled out of bed.. and put on shoes.. didn't take off the pajama top ... but did put on a pair of shorts .. I think.. hummm..

and got my keys.. who needs to brush your hair and or comb your teeth .. when all you are needed for is babysitting service.. chauffeur service.. cooking.. cleaning... bath water running... and .. taking him to the Dollar General for that all important "New Toy" that Uncle H had promised..

So I pack his little suitcase.. his bike.. his enormous sack of action figures.. ( he is an only child ... which his Uncle H.. is continuously giving him a hard time about playing with dolls.

Which means that if I have not put up all the lamps.. put plugs into the wallsockets to prevent accidental sword stabbings.. it would probably be a REAL good time to do so..)

into my little truck.. and I suppose this child's mother is still asleep, because he met me at the end of his driveway.. with all of the things he needed, he insisted, to survive being away from home ( 10 miles away) for a period of the promised 24 hours..( HA!) I pounded on the back door and got this sound of," go away.. I am having a special moment alone here.. do you have any D size batteries?" ...

...

....

NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY SIZE D BATTERIES!!!

Which actually got her to stick her head out of the door, after she realized what she had sounded like, and raced to catch me to explain that they were for here CD player.. she was going to listen to some AC DC and give herself a pedicure..

I tried to act indignant, but the woman has been subjected to 6 years of Barney and the TeleTubbies .. and OMG!... Bert and Ernie... I can understand the need for a transfusion of AC DC and the fumes off the nail polish.. just a small token of life's preparenthood pleasures... yep..

So off we went .. Kyle and I.. to my house.. and we ate and we drank..

He watched his soap operas .. heehee... and I took a shower... ( this was done quickly after Kyle .. finishing up his microwave pancakes.. hey betty crocker I ain't okay... looked at me intently and said.. " Do you always have those really black circles under your eyes like my raccoon Stinky?")

We are going to the Dollar General Store.. whoo hoo.. I actually like shopping for toys.. and he has this way of getting me to offer to buy him stuff.. like this.. " Wow Aunt T.. look at this cool.. whatshamacallit.. and of course I look and then asks me .. "what does this do?"

Of course it is something like a alien sound translator.. you can speak the alien language on 5 different planets with it.. of course it has to go home with us.. I mean you never know when you are going to need to translate a conversation with an alien from planet Tough Bubble where they make those bubbles that are so tough they don't break .. ever.. got some of those too.

and the ultimate.. his have to have it or I will just die. .. toy.

A fishing rod and reel tackle box.. combo with the mighty ninja turtles pics on it.. and the advertising promise that with this little jewel he will outfish everyone.. 12.95.. with tax as he points out..

It is a "gotta have it" and in the cart it goes... I am loved.... I am a goddess.. I am his hero.

. He is always going to love me best...

I know to bask in the glow of his affection... cause as soon as his Uncle H walks in he door.. I go back to being Raccoon Woman with a frying pan..

Seeing as how I swim like a large heavy rock.

. I told him we could practice casting his new rod and reel tackle box ninja turtle combo.. 12.95 plus tax from the Dollar General Store.. in the back yard until his Uncle H. gets home from work.. ( he picks today to work overtime.. his boss has some sort of sixth sense about these things.. never fails..)

overtime?

So I try my hand at teaching him how to cast it out.

. it always amazes me how if you only have 100 ft. of line on a reel and you are 150 ft. away from a tree ... how does it get in the tree?

Scientist are working on stuff like rocket ships to the moon and we have these important burning questions to be answered here on earth.. do they care... NO!

After we have lost all of his hooks and the ninja turtle logo has fell off the tackle box and had to be superglued back on.. I looked at my watch..

10:30a.m..

One of the advantages of your partner working in construction for a man who is the father of 4 ... grown now... is that you can take them lunch and eat it right there on the trac hoe.. or bulldozer or what ever huge tonka toy he is running today .... and he will join you if you bring him a sandwich too.. hehehee

Needless to say.. I decided I needed to go to the grocery store and Kyle just had to stay and help his Uncle H.. to which I got the Homer look.. you know the one which lets me know I am going to pay.. and pay big time.