Hillbilly Technology Inc.: JULY 30, 2007 THE BIGGEST FISH STORY EVER TOLD.... A HOMER AND ME STORY FEATURING KYLE AND ZIP

THE BIGGEST FISH STORY IN THE WORLD!

A HOMER AND ME STORY

FEATURING KYLE

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Well to continue the story of a weekend with Kyle.. I believe I left off about the end of lunch time and the beginning of the afternoon..

He really enjoyed riding on the bulldozer with his Unle H.. and I really enjoyed getting my shopping done in peace and quiet.. and I made peace with Homer by bringing him a cookie dough blast and all was well..

Kyle and I got home and put our groceries away .. and he actually kicked back on the couch in the AC and watched an old cartoon tape of my sons... yep .. I said it was old didn't I? hehee

I fixed dinner and when his Uncle H walked through the door.. the wrestling matches started.. to which I am not a big fan.. So after two bouts of crying and convincing Uncle H that Kyle was not trying to kill him.. hehehe.. we ate dinner..

This set the pace for the night.. wrestle.. crying.. sighing... wrestle... finally I got both of them by the ears and sent Homer to one bathroom to shower, and took Kyle to my bathroom so he could swim in my garden tub.. he has the best time making believe he is an olympic swimmer... the step down into the bathtub is his jump off place. So after he bathed, bathed all his action figures, and I washed his hair....... we had to use the battery powered toothbrush.. ( have you ever tried to use one of those things.. I swear I thought it was going to do a tonsilectomy on the kid!

).. I put too much toothpaste on it and he looked like he had rabies.. which of course he loved..

. hehehe

Back in the living room Uncle H had already made him a bed on the love seat.. and plugged in his favorite movie.. Critters....

kinda makes you wonder what really goes on in that little noggin' doesn't it.

. hummm.. hehehe

He conked out after about 10 minutes into the movie.. I looked at the clock.. 8:30 pm...

this means he will be up and ready to rock at 6:00 am. ..

But this is supposed to be a big fish story isn't it.. hang with me.. it takes a whole village to write one of these blogs people!

The next morning it was a beautiful day outside.. sunshine.. no clouds.. not a hint of rain in the sky... I was totally shocked.. I mean two days before we were at flood stageand the ground made these sucking sounds when you walked on it...

go figure! hehe

We loaded up into the truck with the by now famous Ninja Turtle rod and reel tackle box combo 12.95 plus tax at the Dollar General Store and headed for water.. that would not sweep us to the ocean if we got crosswise of it anyway.. ended up at the most beautiful lake in Arkansas .. or so I think.. Shores Lake.. I took pics of course.. this is the marker for the cemetary that is a part of the state park .. the land for the lake was donated by some people named Shores along about the time that the CCC was going good.. they built this entire thing.. from native rocks around the area.. the dam, the restrooms, the picnic areas.. all are hand shaped out of almost solid rock mountain.. It is truly beautiful..

Well now then, alrighty.. we fished, then ate the lunch we had brought from home.. bologna tastes so much better when it is mixed with the dirt from digging fish bait.. dontcha know it is true!

Can I get an amen out there people?

hehehe

Then we fished some more... and then Kyle had to go swimming, as I have already informed everyone, I swim not at all..( large heavy rocks float better than I do..) and the word panic does not begin to describe my reaction to not being able to keep feet on firm ground.. and nose above water at the same time.. if it is not moving I climb it.. animal, vegatable, or mineral.. I do not discriminate... if it is there and I am in water over my head.. it is a ladder plain and simple..

hehehe I am an equal opportunity spaszoid..

hehehee

Onward.. I sat on my 5 gallon bucket with all three fishing poles, baited, bobbered, and in the water.. for 45 minutes.. while Homer took the Kyle and he got wet..

Nothing.. not one single nibble did I get.. even the minnow on Homers pole wasn't wiggling.. I felt my mind begin to wander.. and when Kyle and Homer got back.. I was sound asleep on my bucket.. ( tip no. 324.. when sitting upon a bucket .. be sure to sit on the end with no opening.. I still have a ring around my .. ahme.... nether regions..

I really hope it is not permanent or anything.. aw ... it is probably water retention, huh? )

Kyle picked up his pole and the bag of Doritos and basically pushed me and my bucket out of his way.. and since I had been lecturing.. well let us say teaching, him how to bait his own hook and cast it out by himself.. (

hey, I spent 12.95 plus tax on a ninja turtle rod reel tackle box combo from the dollar general store... he was going to at least try,

ya know!)

He plops down on the lid to my laz-e-boybucket and baits his hook.. not even crying when the worm pooed on his hand.. and proceeded to cast out like Bill Dances.. little brother .. Bubba Dance...

Homer grabs his pole and the bucket of minnows and heads in the other direction..

I suppose Uncle quality time had reached its maximum overload..

I just gave up and reeled mine in ... about that time Kyle gave a shriek.. and I looked to see his cork go under and stay under!..

Kyle was reeling for all he was worth.. and it was a fighter.. it kept pulling him toward the water.. and I asked him if he needed help..

He just kept cranking the reel and stumbling forward toward the water.. the ninja turtle pole was hanging in there..

He shook his head no to my question.. so I just started to holler for Homer to head our way .. and of course .. he hollers back.. "WHAT?"

I know better than to try to answer him.. which influenced him to continue in the most irritating fashion to yell "WHAT?" at me..

I grabbed Kyles belt loop and determined that the fish would have to completely jerk him out of his drawers before he got him and me into the water..

The Ninja Turtle pole was bent double and so was I .. trying to keep the kid on the shore, and the kid trying, to get the fish to shore.. he had not said a word yet.. just had this really crazed look on his face, and was trying to reel even though all it was doing was slipping by this time.. I begged him to let me help him.. He finally shook his head NO! I had started the thing of him doing it all by himself.

. what is a lockie to do.

. you continue to hold on for dear life and don't interfere.. sigh.. about the time he got it on dry land .. with a little help from me to lift it from the weeds.. his Uncle H.. walks up to us and says .. " You need my help or something?"

Neither of us could do anything but point at Kyles fish.

the biggest perch I have ever seen.. this thing weighed at least a couple lbs.

.( for Kyle to catch it I guess it was like a 6 lb catfish fight for a grown person with a good rod and reel.. Zebco.. the only way to go.. to hell with Ninja Turtles.. Kyle agreed with me!)

So the following photo is his big catch.. it looks like I photoshopped it a little.. ( little hell... I practically did a Mona Lisa on this thing..)

By the time this all took place it was getting pretty dark.. this was taken with night portrait mode on my little Kodak cw 330.. this collage took 4 photos to get it all together to look like anything.. but it is all the real and true stuff .. old fisher woman honor..

We loaded up and headed into Homer's Mom's house to show off the big catch of the day.. hehee

Kyle was so pooped out he didn't even make it to put the fish in the stock pond at Homer's Moms.

. He went into the yard and stumbled over where Zip, the wonder dog was laying down, and plopped his butt on the ground, putting his head on Zip's back.. Zip just kind of sighed, this long suffering sigh ..