OCTOBER 9, 2006 WHEN I MET MY NEIGHBOR LEON.. FOR THE FIRST TIME...

MEET MY REALLY SQUIRRLEY NEIGHBOR ..LEON.. ( NOT REALLY.. BUT HE WON'T HOLD STILL LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET A PHOTO OF HIM THAT IS NOT JUST A BIG BROWN AND GRAY BLUR!.. SO I CHEATED A LITTLE BIT.. EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE THE SAME THING...

OH OKAY..

BILLIONS OF PHOTOS ON HOST SITES..

AND I AM THE ONLY ONE UPLOADING AND BORROWING..

FROM MYSELF..

YOU PEOPLE ARE SO PITIFUL YOU KNOW ......!!! )

HEHEHE!!!

IN AN EFFORT TO GIVE THE ONES WHO READ MY STUFF..( I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU ..

WELL..

OKAY..

MIKEY DOESN'T COUNT ..)

HEHEHEE!

A VISUAL PICTURE ..OF THIS STORY I HOPE TO IMPART TO YOU ALL.. LET ME LIST A FEW OF THE MATERIAL THINGS WHICH ARE INVOLVED IN THE STORY, AND SOME OF THE LIVING THINGS WHICH MAKE THE STORY.. FANTASTIC!

HEHEHE

LEON OF COURSE...

I AM PRETTY SURE HIS IS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE LOCKIE NEIGHBORHOOD CRITTERWATCH TEAM OF " THE SQUIRREL BERETS" SORT OF LIKE THE " GREEN BERETS".. BUT NOT REALLY EITHER..

MORE LIKE.. "THE BROWN BOOTIES"..

HEHEHE

THIS IS A VIEW OF THE TOP OF MY MOBILE HOME.. WITH A BLACK WALNUT TREE WHICH HANGS OVER THE TOP OF THE MOBILE AT ONE END.. THE END THAT MY BEDROOM IS ON...

I KNOW... I KNOW..

I SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THE PLACING OF THE MOBILE HOME A LITTLE BETTER.. CAUSE NO BODY WANTS TO BE DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH A FRUIT OR NUT BEARING TREE... ESPECIALLY IF THERE ROOF IS MADE OF TIN...

BUT I DID..

THESE ARE GREEN BLACK WALNUTS..

THAT ARE ABOUT AS LARGE AS A BASEBALL AND JUST AS HARD ALSO..

THEY FALL FROM THE TREE WHEN THEY HAVE THAT FEELING THAT ALL NUTS DO..

WHEN IT IS TIME TO LEAVE THE TREE ...

I GUESS..

ACTUALLY...

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT NUTS THINK..

OR MAYBE I DO..

HAS ANYONE SEEN DANI?

( YOU KNOW I LUV YA SIS!)

HEHEHEHE

ANYWAY BACK TO THE STORY...

THE FIRST FALL I LIVED IN THE MOBILE HOME IN MY MOTHERS PASTURE.. I WAS SITTING IN MY BATHTUB ENJOYING THE FACT THAT IT WAS BIG ENOUGH THAT I COULD PUT ALL MY STUFF ON THE LEDGE AND STILL BE ABLE TO COMPLETELY SUBMERGE AND NOT KNOCK ANYTHING OFF ... WHEN

I GULPED IN A MOUTH AND NOSE FULL OF CALGON WATER WHEN I HEAR....

" BANG!!"..... " BANG, BANG, BANG,!!!!!"

IT SOUNDED JUST LIKE SOMEONE WAS SHOOTING MY HOUSE! IT WAS NOT STOPPING! IT WAS JUST LIKE A MACHINE GUN WAS BLASTING THE HELL OUT OF MY POOR OLE TRAILER HOUSE..

IT WASN'T DOING MY MENTAL CONDITION ANY REAL BIG FAVORS EITHER!

I OWN SEVERAL WEAPONS NAMED GUNS... BIG ONES.. LITTLE ONES.. ONES THAT SHOOT ARROWS.. ONES THAT SHOOT DARTS.. AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE.. THE ONES THAT SHOOT BULLETS!!!

I INHERITED A WHOLE ARSENAL FROM MY LATE HUSBAND.. WHO IF I WAS NOT SURE OF MY MEMORIES OF LIVING WITH HIM FOR 21 YEARS WOULD SAY HE WAS GEARING UP FOR A SURVIVALIST TYPE SHOOT OUT IN THE NEAR FUTURE....

BUT YOU SEE.. EVEN THOUGH MY FAVORITE ONE IS LOADED AND HIDDEN IN A VERY EASY TO GET TO PLACE BY MY BEDSIDE...

I AM NOT OF THE TYPE WHO WILL GO OUTSIDE AND LURK AROUND WITH MY GUN DRAWN DOING MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE CAGNEY OR LACEY.. OR MAYBE EVEN HORIATIO..

NAHHH.. NOBODY IS AS COOL AS HORIATIO... THEY USE HIS BLOOD FOR VACCINES AND STUFF!

HEHEHE

NOPE, THEY WAY I SEE IT ... IS LIKE THIS.. I GET INTO A CORNER OF A ROOM THAT FACES ALL ENTRANCES.. AND I AIN'T GONA MISS SEEING YOU ... AND THERE FORE.. I AM SURE TO GET THE FIRST WHAMMY IN.. I WILL WORRY ABOUT IF I WILL GO TO JAIL FOR SHOOTING FIRST, AND NEVER ASKING YOU ANYTHING ... EVER...

AFTER THE POLICE HAVE ARRIVED... THEY WILL WANT TO ASK ALL THOSE KINDS OF THINGS OF YOU AND I BOTH, SO WHY DO THINGS TWICE WHEN YOU CAN SAVE TIME......

VERY TIME EFFICIENT THINKER, HUH?

AND A THINKER WHO IS STILL UNHARMED...

THEN I THINK TO MYSELF, AS I TRYING MY BEST TO DRY OFF, PUT ON A ROBE, AND GET MY GUN OUT, WITH OUT EVER LOOKING DIRECTLY AT WHAT I AM DOING..

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH BOTH OF THE DOGS..?

THE ONE OUTSIDE, AND THE ONE INSIDE, WITH ME..

NO HYSTERICAL BARKING.... GROWLING ... OR TRYING TO CLIMB THE WALLS TO SEE WHO IS OUTSIDE BY MIKEY THE WONDERDOG..

GOD REST HIS SWEET SOUL...

I LISTEN CLOSE AND DO NOT HEAR MISS PRISS..

GOING INTO A

" I GOT EM CORNERNED MOM... COME ON OUT AND SHOOT EM.. AND THEN CAN I PLEASE TEAR THEIR EARS OFF..

I WILL SHARE WITH MIKE... I PROMISE!"

KIND OF BARK..

BUT I ..... STILL.. AM HEARING...

BANG!! .... BANG!!!

ON THE ROOF..

ALSO I HEAR THIS SOFTER KIND OF THUMP AFTER I HEAR THE LOUDER BANG BANGS....

WTF!

I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY CAR BEING PARKED IN THE BACK YARD.. I SNEAKED INTO THE DINING ROOM AND LOOKED OUT THE SLIDING DOORS..

IN TIME TO SEE A WALNUT BOUNCE OFF MY CARS HOOD AND THEN CAME ANOTHER AND ANOTHER..

I JERKED OPEN THE SLIDING DOOR IN TIME TO SEE LEON THROWING WALNUTS OUT OF THE TREE ONTO THE ROOF, WHICH THEN BOUNCED ONTO MY CAR!........

THAT WAS OUR FIRST VISIT WITH LEON, AND HIS WALNUT, OLYMPIC CHAMPION, THROWING FAMILY..

I HAVE GOTTEN USED TO BEING AWAKENED EARLY IN THE MORNING BY THE GATHERING OF WINTER STOCKPILES OF WALNUTS BY THE NEIGHBORS..

AND PRISS HAS DEVELOPED A FETISH ABOUT BECOMING REAL CLOSE FRIENDS WITH LEON..

HOPING TO BE INVITING HIM TO BE LUNCH SOME TIME.. HEHEHE

WHICH I AM GOING TO CATCH ON VIDEO SOMEDAY, AND I PROMISE TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL..

THE REAL THING IS VERY ENTERTAINING..

HEHEHEHEE..

SO I LEAVE YOU NOW WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I AM THOUGHLY GREATFUL TO MOTHER NATURE FOR THE LATE FROST IN SOME WAYS.. NOT MANY WALNUTS THIS YEAR!

BUT THAT JUST MEANS..

I WILL BE BUYING SACKS OF CORN TO FEED MY NEIGHBORS..

THE ONES WITH BUSHY TAILS AND FUR.....

AS WELL AS FEATHERS AND A BEAK....

THIS WINTER!