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Saturday, February 21, 2009

FERUARY 21, 2009 HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. UNVEILING OF A NEW PRODUCT... LIMITED TIME OFFER.. HURRY!





  FEBRUARY 21, 2009 
 HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC.
 UNVEILING OF A NEW PRODUCT!
 LIMITED TIME OFFER!
 HURRY!
FOR ALL THOSE TEENAGED  YOUNGUNS IN OUR LIVES, WHO HAVE THOSE AWFUL SKIN PROBLEMS THEY SEEM TO ALWAYS HAVE JUMP ON 'EM....
  HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY INC. HAS DEVELOPED THE LATEST IN MODERN TECHNOLOGY, TO GIVE A HELPING HAND OR SQUISH AS IT MIGHT BE!
 SCOOTER SUES' SLIDING ZIT SQUISHER!

MY NIECE SCOOTER SUE..
 SHE IS THE ONE IN THE PICTURE UP YONDER.. SHE SHORE TAKES A GOOD PICTURE DON'T SHE?.... LOOKS JUST LIKE HER MOMMA!
WELL ANYWAY.. SCOOTER SUE HAD A PROBLEM WITH A SKIN CONDITION OF THE WORST KIND..
YES INDEEDY FOLKS .. SHE WAS PLAGUED BY THE TERRIBLE CONDITION OF...

 INGROWN ZITS..

WE'VE ALL SEEN IT HAPPEN BEFORE TO YOUNGUNS..
TERRIBLE THANG TO HAPPEN TO A YOUNG GIRL NOW AIN'T IT?
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WELL THAT GOT UNCLE BILLY BOB TO SEARCHING  FOR AN EASY WAY FOR HER TO GET DOWN INTO THOSE INGROWED DEMON PUS POCKETS.
 HE BEGAN TO GO TO YARD SALES AND FLEA MARKETS..
ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FREIGHT DAMAGE PLACES AND THE STOCKYARDS.

  SEARCHING FOR AN ITEM THAT COULD BE RECYCLED INTO A MACHINE TO POP 'EM RIGHT OUTTA HER TROUBLED FACE..
WELL NOW FRIENDS WHEN UNCLE BILLY BOB GET SOMETHING ON HIS MIND TO DO.. HE GIVES IT 100% OF HIS TIME ..
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 AND SO..
 LOW AND BEHOLD HE FINALLY HAD SOME INSPIRATION FROM A FELLER OUT TO THE FREIGHT DAMAGE PLACE WITH A WHOLE BOBTRUCK LOAD OF USED SLIDING GLASS DOORS!
 HIS BRAIN GOT TO HUMMING AND NEXT THANG YA KNOW..
 THERE IT WAS..
Photobucket THE ZIT SQUISHER...
 IT IS A THANG OF BRILL ANT BEAUTY!
AND ITS ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY TOO! MADE FROM TOTALLY RECYCLED PARTS!
 THAT IS JUST A MIRACLE.. A TRUE MIRACLE I TELL YA!
WE ARE RUNNING A NEW PRODUCT SPECIAL FOR THIS WEEK ONLY..
YOU CAN GET THE
 
PhotobucketSCOOTER SUES' ZIT SQUISHER,

 A BOTTLE OF GRANNY JUNE ELLYN'S FACE FLAKE OFF ACNE TONIC,

A PACKAGE OF SUPER FINE SANDPAPER,

AND A SAMPLE OF VALIUM

( Just in case you might experience some discomfort from any one of the products involved in this total skin care package .. so we had some left over from when Uncle Randy Bill had that breakdown last year.. we don't talk about it much..)
 ALL THIS TOTAL SKIN CARE PACKAGE FOR THE ONE TIME INTRODUCTORY PRICE OF ...
 19.95!!


TH ATS RIGHT.. ONLY 19.95!
SO GET TO THEM THERE CELL PHONES
AND CALL THIS HERE NUMBER QUICK!

1-800-ZIT-SQSH


(WE ONLY GOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR A 5 MINUTE COMMERCIAL, SINCE MY OLD AUNT MARGIE HAD TO HAVE THAT NEW GLASS EYEBALL, WHEN SHE DROPPED HERS DOWN THE WELL, AND NOBODY WOULD GO DOWN AND GET IT.. )

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Hillbilly Technology Inc. is a business dedicated to turning your trash into someone elses skin product. Appearance of product varies because of availability of sliding glass door may not be real good all the time and we might have to use a closet door or something like that.. you unnerstand I am sure..
Hillbilly Technology Inc. is owned and operated by the Lockerridge Family from Buzzard Breath, Arkansas...
We ain't licensed to examine eyes, so don't ask.
hilbiltecinc@hillbillytech.netcon
We take all credit cards...
anything that is plastic with numbers stamped in it.. as long as it ain't one of them AARP cards.. them don't work at all.. 
 

 



lockerridge





20 comments:

  1. Geeeez! I was all ready to buy this product until I read the last sentence. Sorry, all I have is an AARP card. DARN!!Hmmmm.....are you sure it won't work?

    ~giggles~....Lockie, you are so funny! Love this blog!

    HUGS

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  2. (O.O)... WOW! ... I'm so glad I didn't miss out on this one. Never knew about ingrowns. I'm a jumping... Where do I apply? Can I use my Borders points card? Plastic with numbers on it (^.~) ps, I always was taught that recycling is always a virtue. I will return tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed. Tons of (((hugs)))

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  3. *Roaring with laughter* If that zit squawsher don't get them out, I don't know what would. No plastic here.

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  4. Good morning all my zit squishing friends! JaeElle, Sakura, Vinnie, Crystal, Dio.. only one comment is needed with this blog.. and that comment would be... I AM FULL OF SHIT AND IT JUST HAS TO COME OUT! And you guys get to suffer through the Clorox Bowl Cleaner that is my blog... I love y'all! Yeeeehhhhaaawwwww!

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  5. Sorry sweetie, I've already got two of them things out in the garage but thanks for the info on what to tell folks they are at the next garage sale.

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  6. You crack me up!! you nut.
    I gotz one of them thar Hallmark Gold Crown cards! Will that work? it's plastic!!
    Just one question if I may ask, would I get a closest door and a sliding glass door.. or would it be two of the same door?
    Shame about Old Aunt Marge's glass eye.

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  7. Wait.. How much you want fer um? We are running out of raw materials quick.. the rush on this product has been just wonderful.. we sold 12 of them already.. we broke a sales record dating back to 1982... Uncle Billy Bob is so tuckered out.. he hasn't come up out of his rocking chair yet today.. somebody really should see if he is still breathing soon I guess.. wink!

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  8. Hey don't be sad my little green hugging friend.. I am still working on that descaler you wanted.. just have to find some more used tater peelers and some bed springs to hold you tight while it does the scaling.. it is an automatic ya know.. out of a Jeep Cherokee.. 200 hp.. it ought to flay you real quick.. hehehee.. no I am not evil.. I just sound that way!

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  9. I got some superglue.. where does it start to crack at.. snicker.. I don't know if them there hallmark cards would work.. but bring it on down.. we will give her a try! But do not ask me to check your eyes.. I can't.. against the rules..
    I swear .. will it be two door alike or two differnt ones.. this is the twelfth time today I been asked that.. humm.. made twelve sales.. all of them asked.. so you make thirteen.. whew.. if you hada asked that on the full moon and if a owl had of hooted the star spangled banner at the same time you was number thirteen.. well.. just kiss your butt and wave goodbye.. you and I would be on a cruise ship bound for the bahamas.. where are them damn owls when you really need um.. sigh..

    Well Marges eye will probably, in about two thousand years when some archyologist diggs up the well , be one of the greatest finds of the time.. a glass dinosaur eye.. imagine the headlines now.. wink..
    love you sis
    terri

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  10. Luckily, I've never needed this kind of thing! Whew, that's 19.95 I can leave in my pocket!

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  11. The Super Deluxe Kit comes with bondo and the fiberglass cloth too!

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  12. Well maybe you could use some of our other products like the hound dog super tonic .. for those late night coon hunting parties..

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