HELP FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED...
ALL I NEEDED WAS MY FRIENDS...
LIVE TO LOVE ANOTHER DAY...
You know what it is like when you have a pimple come up on your face and you know it is going to hurt to get the pus out of the sore, and it is going to leave an ugly swollen lump right there where everyone can see it, and feel sorry for you?
This is the relating scenario that I attribute to this breakup of mine. I just felt so terribly terribly scared when he didn't come home.. when he would not take my calls.. when the only way I could find out he was okay was through his mother. I just couldn't stand the fear and yes pain of losing yet another partner.
I have been with this man for ten years. Ten years is a very long time, you know.
I just forgot the bad and only longed for the good times. I was not seeing what was really there if I could have stopped the emotional roller coaster that I was riding on, which is the product of the way he left me.
Without a word of any kind to what he was about to do and without any kind of communications at all afterward.
He sneaked two changes of clothes out of the house, and as far as I can tell that is all he took with him.
The feelings he was with another woman sure didn't help either! I still do not know where he is... I have not heard from him. I have left several messages on his phone, but he just has not responded except once, and he lied to me then.
He told me he would come to visit me on Friday and would call to say when, sometime during the day. He never did either of those things.. and yes it really hit me hard.
He lied ... if he could do this easily as he did it then.. wonder how many times he has lied to me about other things.
I may be totally wrong about this but .. I am at a point that when he didn't call me back after I called and told him his horse had kicked me, I sure would have wanted to know if he was okay if something like that happened to him..
but I guess he just doesn't care or believe me... he will when he comes back to pick her up and she has been sold.
They come to pick her up Thursday. I refuse to be afraid to walk in my pasture if I want to, because of someone elses horse!
I suppose the point I am trying to make is that I have finally stopped and let my friends here who live close to me, and those here on the net who seem even closer in come ways talk to me and it sink in...
Dani, JL, OJ, and all the rest of you are wonderful.. wonderful.. supportive and love me dearly..
yet it took the comments from the oldest of my friends here on the net to jerk me around and look at what was really happening..
My friend Pradeep Nair.. or PD to me and all those he loves.. spoke volumes to me in these two comments.. I love you too Pd!
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PD COMMENT ON THE FIRST BLOG
I don't know what to write or how to console you I am not good at it but sure understands your condition and my mind is with you though in an up-set condition right now as you are not supposed to go through such scenarios; knowing you since years and sharing everything with me.
Can see that you are ready to sell the home to please and make him be with you (though it not something recommendable),
what else a lady can do more than this and he still….!!
Any relationship that broken can be related to crack on the glass you may able to patch it up but a total repairing isn’t possible, that’s the truth we need to face.
Hopes and prays for betterment Lockie
Love you
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PD COMMENT ON THE LAST BLOG
The last two lines of the song well states your mind Lockie. Menopause is a natural process for which someone getting blamed is not acceptable, I wish and prays that the HRT will bring some happiness in your relation,
Lockie I can see that you are literally ready to do anything to keep the relation especially on the comment you wrote to Dani ready gave up this much and homer do not care!!,
and as Dani said you are taking the blame if you feel that it would help itz fine.
Love you Lockie
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You are so right my friend.. I would have given him anything.. I mean anything at all to come back. Yet he chose to leave me crying and drove away to not call or even check on me through our friends.. he is not worthy of my generosity or my time any longer .. it hurts a lot.. but it is truth.. and you spoke it with love and caring of me.. and I saw through to the reality of my life.
Your magic my friend.. pure magic!
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I found my blog theme song with my favorite entertainer.. yep.. Keith Urban!!
I will live to love another day!
One day he is gona regret leaving me this way! I will get back up again..
it may take a lot of time..
but I will survive without him!
And she loved me for a while
Then she said good-bye gotta go
Left me standing on the side of the road
Now she's gone and I'm a memory in her past
And the long and short of it some things never last
(Chorus:)
Oh because summers come, summers go
I'll keep walking down this road
It's alright and it's okay
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
Lord I'm out here again
With my back to the wind
The warm sun that's sinking low
Is gonna leave me out in the cold
But the long and short of it some things never last
And if that goes for the good
It must go for the bad
Chorus
Oh because summers come, summers go
I'll keep walking down this road
It's alright and it's okay
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
If I fall down
I'm not ashamed
I always get back up again
But I'll be fine 'till the right one comes to save me, save me, save me
Lord I fell for her smile
And she loved me for a while
And someday she's gonna wish
She hadn't left me here like this
Chorus
Oh because summers come, summers go
I'll keep walking down this road
It's alright and it's okay
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
I'll live to love another day
( I love his laugh at the end of this song! )
yyyyeeeeehhhaaawww babbby!
lockerridge
They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable. But couldn't something be worked out, such as being moderately rich and just moody?
ReplyDeleteMore power to you Lockie! You take control of your life and don't let anyone use you.
ReplyDeleteYay Lockie. I know it's hard, but you're strong and you've got your head on straight, girl.
ReplyDeleteThere's another song I listened to after a break up I had, long ago.
Oh Lord Lockie.. how my soul hurts right along with you!!!! That rejection and being abandoned is such painful deep hurts...I know them intimately. I wish I could take the pain for you instead...but I walk WITH you and pray for you in the Gap...
ReplyDeleteRight in that valley of HURT. Keep walking thru hun....
Valleys FILL FIRST =)
(((((((((Love you!!)))))))))))
I'm right here if you ever need a listening heart....
Duh, thump to me...maybe I missed an installment or missed the real point of HRT...I am so sorry, Lockie. Losing someone after 10 years is painful. He is being a coward though....best to let him go through it. I'm walking with you too, dear TW2R's. One step at a time....
ReplyDeletehugs my dear friend..
Terri........I'm so very sorry this has all happened to you.......I dont let go of people very easily myself either.......I think I missed the first blog about the break-up but I dont know how I did.......I will be keeping you in my prayers as always......I think you deserve so much more than this......so much more........love you gal!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we can have 25 friends try to say the right words to help us in a situation. However, it only takes the words from just one friend that lets the light bulb go on and helps us to see the truth of the situation. I'm so glad PD was able to do this for you. PD is very wise and I love the way he explains things. You're on the road to recovery now, sweet Lockie. You'll be just fine.
ReplyDeleteWe all love you and wish you the best of everything.
BIG HUGS
I do not have much words to say more Lockie, what I have to tell you is to 'Take care yourself' since you are 'physically' alone there, miles and continents away from me; though me and all of our friends are here for you. YOU WILL GET BACK AGAIN AS STRONGER AS BEFORE and I can see that regret part in advance.
ReplyDeleteYou WILL survive. And possibly be very much happier. That is my own experience. I didn't want my divorce and felt betrayed and devastated. But today, I look back and I KNOW I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much happier than I would have been. If our relationship was saved - I would have been miserable today.
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to go thru the pain of the divorce - but, without me even knowing it, it was just what I needed....
Darling Lockie.... I've not been around Multiply a lot lately, but I was somewhat aware that you weren't leaving a lot of comments either... I had no idea what you've been going through, and for that I'm truly sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm wrapping you up in the biggest hug ever.
ReplyDeleteI'm truly thankful you have a great friend like PD.
Love you!
I'm glad that somewhere along with the pain you are finding answers, reasoning, and comfort..
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is what my big sis told me years ago - "Even when you hate their gutts it hurts like hell!"
That just means there is no easy way out.
I don't give a damn what's wrong with ya.. I don't care who did what..
I know what I have been told.. what I have read between the lines.. and you worked and worked with for and around him..
You'll be scared.. mad.. sad.. hurt.. MAD.. numb.. then you will be alright..
Just grab onto us.. and ride this out.. Wish I could be there with you during the quiet evenings.. I can not change anything.. but I sure would bring a bottle of ????? Wine coolers? MudSlide??? Oh Yeah baby!! Wouldn't change a thing - just make it more fun getting from point 'A' to 'ZIG ZAG'! LoL!!
And for a girl who does not drink .. I'd pass out then you wouldn't have to mess with my dumb ass!!!! hahahahaha.
OH TERRI I'M SO SORRY MY DEAR FRIEND!.. HEY I'VE BEEN THRU 3 VERY BAD MARRIAGES CUZ OF THEM.. I WAS A GOOD WIFE.. ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW ANYTHING.. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO PIC A GOOD MAN IS ALL. SO I BLAME ME TOO!.. OH HUN, THIS IS SO HARD FOR U I KNOW AND NOT KNOWING IS THE WORSE TOO. HE IS A COWARD AND IT'S NOT U BY ANY MEANS.. HE IS A JERK AND HE IS STUCK WITH HIMSELF AND IT WILL COME BACK AT HIM 10 FOLD BELIEVE ME.. I'M GOING THRU ALOT WITH MY X TRYING TO FIND HIS ASS RIGHT NOW AND THE LAW DOESN'T HELP...THEY HELP THE GUILTY... JUST WATCH YOUR BACK IN THE FINANCIAL DEPARTMENT SWEETIE.. I KNOW RIGHT NOW IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THAT IS IMPORTANT BUT U DON'T NEED THAT ADDED GRIEF ON TOP OF THE HEART ACHE.. IT DESTROYS U.. BELIEVE ME, I CANNOT FIX WHAT MY X DID ON TOP OF ALL THE PAIN.. NO LOVE LOSS BUT HEY IT STILL HURTS TERRIBLY.. U KNOW U HAVE ME AND US HERE.. U NEED TO TALK EVER LET ME KNOW.. I DO KNOW ALOT OF THE LAWS NOW TOO.. BELIEVE ME I'M DEALING WITH THE COURTS ALOT.. LEARNING ALOT!.. OH HUN I WISH WORDS COULD HELP BUT TIME WILL HEAL I PROMISE.. GOD BLESS U SWEETIE.. HUGGIN U SOOOO TIGHT!.. I'M HERE HUN!.. XOXO
ReplyDeleteOMG TERRI HOW TERRIBLE YOUR HUBBY DID THIS TO YOU. AAAWWWW WHY DO MEN DO THESE THINGS? THAT IS SO LOW OF HIM TO BE SO COWARDY TO LEAVE YOU SO COLD LIKE, OMG I FEEL SO HEART BROKEN FOR YOU TERRI, THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT, SO SAD. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU GIRL,. MAN LIKE THIS IS NO MAN, HOW SELFISH OF HIM TO DO THIS TO YOU. SHAME ON HIM. WOW HOW LOW HE IS, SUCH A SCUM BAG.
ReplyDeleteI'M SO SORRY TERRI, MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU ALWAYS.
SEEMS SOME MEN JUST LOVE TO HURT PEOPLE. I HATE MEN DOING THIS CRAP TO WOMEN,
HANG IN THERE TERRI, KEEP STRONG IN FAITH, KEEP ON KEEPING ON, STAND YOUR GROUNDS YOUR RIGHTS,
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
LOVE YOU TERRI GIRL. ((HUGS)) XOXOXO
Okay... okay, I'll bring Pin'a CoLADA!!!
ReplyDeleteDeal? or... No deal?
Lockie loves every one of you more than you will ever imagine!
ReplyDeleteI like strawberry dauiquaires.. or how ever you spell it.. the frozen kind.. eh.. it is not all his fault you guys.. not by a long shot. We are both at fault here and well.. he came to the house for a long time today and we talked about things and well.. both of us are not sure we want to continue the relationship.. but for my part in the deal.. I think ten years of history together .. make for a little bit of consideration. If you are not able to work through a problem that is this big in a relationship which has lasted so long without one... then what the hell did you ever think you had in the first place?
What was new was fantabulous.. what was 2 years in was still fantabulous.. what was 5 years in.. grew thin and brittle and took lots of work on both our parts to hold it together until time and changing our ways to accomodate someone elses needs took hold and became habit..
7 years in.. I was losing family members right and left.. both had to search and get new jobs... we held on.. now we are 10 years in and once again.. personalities and circumstances have caused a situation that has to be worked on .. and you guys.. I didn't want to hear it from him.. nothing I just wanted him to leave me alone with my agony and depression which I didn't know I even was suffering from.. his leaving jolted the hell out of me.. I woke up to the real world and how I was not living a life .. I was just biding time.. independent and really really cold, toward this man..
He brought about the situation where I lost faith in him.. but you know what.. he was bored out of his skull laying on the couch listening to me type... and when he tried to talk to me.. I would tell him.. I am busy .. please wait till I finish.. and guys.. I never have finished it yet.. so yeah.. he found something to do that he enjoyed.. but it was not a good thing.. sigh..
I want to try to work on it .. and do my part better.. I am awake now.. and 10 years of faithfulness to me is something I do not want to lose at this point in my life. It is rare and so is our relationship. I hope we can come to a point of compromise and better understanding of what the other needs to just be content.. it will never be the beginning again.. but man oh man it could be one hell of a finale!
I have no idea what he will decide.. but if it is NO.. then I will be okay.. I really will.. I will be lonesome.. but I will not die off like I thought I would at first.. I am big girl.. and I am smart girl.. Life will be what ever God gives me.. no matter what I do anyway.. so all to the Glory of God I give this whole thing as a show of my faith that HE knows what is best for me.. even if it is not what I want.
I'm so glad you were able to talk and get things said and out in the open. Hopefully, you'll be able to work together now and mend everything that needs fixing. I wish you all the luck in the world, sweet Lockie. I'll be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteStopped by to see if you have added any more news for us. Hoping everything is going good for you and it all turns out the way you want/need it to.
ReplyDeleteAlways thinking of you.....BIG HUGS
As JL said me too is happy to know that you two discussed on it. I do hope hope that you two will find a path leading to compromise and the relation will be maintained.
ReplyDelete-
pd
Hugs.
ReplyDeletei guess we can go through ours together and both of us come out stronger and smarter.
ReplyDelete