DEER HUNTING ... THE HOMER WAY...

The above photo depicts exactly what it means to go to the deer woods with my beloved, Homer. He gives it 100% of all his hunting knowledge and still the only shot he gets is the one he accidentally gives himself when he is giving the dog his rabies vaccine.

You think I jest, no I do not jest. I got this phone call about day 2 into last years deer hunting camp 2005. " Hey, uh, would you get ahold of the vet and ask him if, well, if a person can get the rabies from a vaccine shot?" Trying to stay calm and cool and not double over in laughter, I replied," Did Zip get you down and give it to you in the muscle?" Reply, " Now there is no need to be a smart ass, all I need to know is if I need to go and like get my leg pumped out or something like that!" I lost it at this point. I can just see it all happening in my head.

Zip is half border collie and half calahoula cow dog. His appearance is all border collie, his actions are all cow dog. He will herd anything, I mean anything, mice, corn cobs, butterflies, people, and of course a few cows here and there. The best herding I ever see him do is with Homer's Dad's game chickens. He will herd the poor things into a corner and guard them all day long. Until it starts getting dark and they start to go to roost in the trees. He can't stop them, so he will bark and whine, and do his best to climb the tree after them. It is, to say the least, a good show to be seen by anyone who is into dog comics. The chickens will fly up on the lowest branch first, then work their way upward one limb at a time. He can almost make that first limb by jumping as high as he can and then try to grab the limb with his teeth. He catches air every time and the chickens are sitting on the limb, smugly looking at him. As if to say" What ya gona do now big boy? Don't let fear stand in your way! We got some doggie treats up here, want one, big guy?" " Nanny Nanny poopoo, pooch!" I love it!

Any way back to Homer and his leg needing to be pumped out. hehehehe gotta love the guy! He asked me again if I would call the vet, and I said," Sure honey just stay calm and try not to bark or anything. I hear it speeds up the illness's symptoms." I actually called the vet. The vet, after he stopped laughing said not to worry it was a killed strain of vaccine and no problem should arise, but a sore point of entry. I called him back. I told him the vet said to get to the hospital immediately and he needed to be put in straps and a strait jacket as he would have the hallucinations by that evening.

I know it sounds evil of me, but you got to know Homer. He believed me! Or at least he made me believe he believed me. He started to yell, cussing and acting like he was yelling at Homer Jr. to pack up camp, they were heading in. Meet him at the hospital. I started to babble that I was just kidding him,but he hung up before I could tell him I was only teasing. I got my keys, and my purse. Grabbed a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper ( his favorite) as a peace offering, and headed north.

Now this is where you are going to find out just how much of a joker this guy of mine is. I met them on the road out of the woods about 20 minutes later. He was laying in the back of the truck and Homer Jr. was driving. I flagged them down and got out of the truck, with my Dr. Pepper peace offering, and a cup of ice. I got to the back of the bed of the truck, and he jumps up with foam all over his face. It is just boiling out of his mouth and he is slobbering all over the place. He yells at me," Get back woman, I am feeling like Old Yeller and I might just bite!" I was so shocked I just turned and ran, yelling at Homer Jr. to get back in the truck, and roll up the windows. By this time of course he has caught up with me, and grabs me from behind and twirls me around and gives me a big wet whopper of a kiss. Foam and all.

I just stood there. I mean what else would you do? I was for once in my life, in complete submission. Fear had won out on this occasion, then I tasted something kind of familiar. Alka Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine Cherry Flavor! That dirty, rotten, low down, foaming at the mouth, dispicable, lovable , silly, man of mine.

He knew I would be heading toward them, and decided to play me for all he was worth. He took an alka seltzer tablet and put it in his mouth with out water or anything. By the time I got on the scene he was almost dehyrated from the thing sucking all the moisture out of any place that held moisture in his body. But he got me good.

He didn't get a deer last year, after all that. But the trip wasn't a total loss, he doesn't have to have another rabies vaccination for 2 more months! hehehe..............

LOCKERRIDGE

 

 

 

• Pradeep
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Ha ha a funny story up there LOL I am still laughing and the picture you posted too is hillarious you are getting naughtier now a days poor homer, LOL

Monday September 25, 2006 - 08:05am (GST) Remove Comment

 

• Locke…
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Howdy Pd will be in gmail in a minute after I hit igloo and momma T.s. to comment, haven't typed to them today. I know once I start talking to you I won't get back for a while lol

Sunday September 24, 2006 - 11:20pm (CDT) Remove Comment

 

• Smile…
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Hehe...fun picture! Love it! Ooooow and I'm lovin' the blending of neon colors you've got going on over here. Trippy!
SmileyCat : )
Oh...saw yer site from Igloo's

Sunday September 24, 2006 - 11:02pm (PDT) Remove Comment

 

• JaeElle
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This story is sooooo funny!! Great story! Love the picture, too. It goes perfect with this funny story.

Sunday September 24, 2006 - 11:43pm (PDT) Remove Comment

 

• Iamig…
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Lol... oh my goodness! He got you good! Lol. Maybe Homer is not that much of a Homer after all :)

Ooo. The part about the chicken... maybe there is hope for the flightless water fowls after all!

Monday September 25, 2006 - 12:24am (PDT) Remove Comment

 

• musta…
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OMG I loved your story I laughed so hard the tears were running down my face and someone had to come to my office and check to make sure everything was ok
thanks for making monday worth it ROFL

Monday September 25, 2006 - 09:48am (CDT) Remove Comment

 

• ICEMAN
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Nowthat is what I call good,I mean Great!Kinda reminds me of a Romantic Comedy.But he really did get a Deer,only spelled,Dear,and thats you! I loved this one.

Monday September 25, 2006 - 07:48pm (EDT) Remove Comment

• STILL…
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Keep all these in a book "life with a Homer' lol keepers every one lol

Tuesday September 26, 2006 - 10:22am (CST) Remove Comment

 

• Cheer…
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This is so great.. Having a family of Deer Hunters
I was in stitches.. I run over here ever night on my way to bed to see the latest Homer Saga.. A good laugh always makes me feel better right before bedtime

Monday September 25, 2006 - 09:43pm (CDT) Remove Comment

 

• Momma…
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Boy Locke! All you have to do from now on is put Homer's name in the title and we'll all come running! My sides hurt from laughing! The pictures were great and the story is just too funny!! love you girl, hahahaha!!!

Tuesday September 26, 2006 - 02:03am (EDT) Remove Comment

 

• Locke…
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I am glad you all are enjoying mine and Homers love story. He is truly a really sweet and loving man. He and I get along like peanut butter and jelly. We sometimes cut the crust off the bread with a good old fashioned fight up at the locker corral, but not often enough to consider it anything but a clash of estrogen and testosterone on a particulary high stress day.

Tuesday September 26, 2006 - 04:52pm (CDT) Remove Comment

 

• Sakur…
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I'm so glad to have ventured on to your blog that I hope you don't mind. It was totally great!!

Tuesday September 26, 2006 - 12:43pm (HST) Remove Comment